I'm very curious as to how BHM's feel about themselves. I can completely understand a guy with a fetish for larger women, and likewise for FFA's towards larger men. I just don't understand if that fetish spills over into a sense of self-confidence.
Its one thing to see a bigger girl, or a bigger guy, and be sexually attracted to him/her, as you can't control whatever turns you on. However, can those same BHM's just because they are fortunate enough to mesh with a unique FFA (I wonder what % of girls actually care for BHM's, but I'd imagine it isn't too high)
be able to turn the fact that he turns on his partner into a confidence/pride in his body?
Before I go any further, I'd like to say that I'm fat. (I originally wrote BHM, but I feel like having that as your main abbreviation is kind of wrong, because thats complimenting myself calling me handsome, when calling me handsome would be a stretch.) I let myself get extremely fat more because of my laziness/apathetic views of life. I was extremely depressed, and decided that perhaps my feelings towards life were due to a chemical inbalance due to my obesity. I started dieting and exercising routinely and lost 80 pounds and was approaching a normal weight.
Several people say that going to the gym and being active, rather than sitting on your ass watching tv, eating takeout, and on your computer all day releases certain endorphins in the brain to make you not depressed. Needless to say, the "new", quite skinnier, me, was still just as depressed.
I couldn't take any self-worth in the new me. Looking in the mirror and seeing a much more fit person didn't make me feel any different than the old me. My good-looking, in shape friends, like to go to the gym, tan, get in shape, stare in mirror and "feel good about themselves." However, are they really feeling good about themselves? Does a self-worth exist beyond the fact that they know they are more attractive to the opposite sex (or the vast majority of the opposite sex as you guys wouldn't find them too attractive.) Society/darwinism definitely says "in shape, fit is good, and fat/out of shape is bad." There are some movements/changes, but at the end of the day society will always view the fat/unattractive as lesser people. Seth Rogen can become a sort of sex symbol, but the fat, ugly, kid who gets picked last in gym class will still be ostracized, tortured, and hate life, and while that is juvenile...it still won't change from the kindgergarden playgrounds, to the "real world", no matter how many DIMS movements/equality goes on, the human race will go on like that till it dies off.
I know, when a girl told me she was a FFA, my initial reactions were something like... 1. she's lying to make me feel better/more comfortable 2. she's fucking with me for her own personal enjoyment 3. she's full of shit, wtf?! wow, I must be really fucked up right now. It definitely didn't result in confidence/comfortableness, but moreso super awkwardness, and don't think I could ever take pride in something that taboo. (I guess its not taboo on these message boards, though.) I don't know... I couldn't relish in the fact that a good-looking girl was a FFA and thats why she was attracted to me. Its too much like a freakshow/too awkward....although I'm sure some of you have completely different views/experiences. Did any of you guys ever conquer that initial awkwardness in your head from feeling weirdly accepted all of a sudden?
People always joke about "letting go" after getting into a relationship/marriage, etc, because whats the point? If you have someone that cares about you/consistent sex... why would one torture themselves to maintain a certain physique?
Now, the internet/Dimensions message boards have created a very weird social dynamic in that EVERYONE in the world is connected now. Even with dimensions message boards, can a 450 pound male really look at himself in the mirror and say, "damn i look good! I'd fuck me!" and feel good about himself and self-confident? While there might be some girl that has a fetish of being crushed by him or rubbing his stomach, does that translate into acceptance/self-confidence? Does it matter if he was lucky enough to find a FFA? Surely, your sexual preferences, if the BHM also was into big girls, don't also affect how you view yourself, because society should mold how one should view oneself.
I probably come off as a hater, but I assure you I am not. I've always said that there is no such thing as self-worth in one's body, and didn't care at all about society. Now, most people don't agree with me there.... but I still believe the only reason people are slaves to the gym/diets is because the majority of people are deathly afraid of being alone/not fitting in. Being fat is a choice. Every person takes into consideration the pros and cons of dieting/exercise vs. the social/physical effects of your weight, and every person makes that choice on their life.
Anyways, I've rambled a whole lot. I'm sure I must have made a coherent statement or two, I'm sure some people here can chime in/tell me just how completely wrong/right I am in my thoughts. Good night.
Its one thing to see a bigger girl, or a bigger guy, and be sexually attracted to him/her, as you can't control whatever turns you on. However, can those same BHM's just because they are fortunate enough to mesh with a unique FFA (I wonder what % of girls actually care for BHM's, but I'd imagine it isn't too high)
be able to turn the fact that he turns on his partner into a confidence/pride in his body?
Before I go any further, I'd like to say that I'm fat. (I originally wrote BHM, but I feel like having that as your main abbreviation is kind of wrong, because thats complimenting myself calling me handsome, when calling me handsome would be a stretch.) I let myself get extremely fat more because of my laziness/apathetic views of life. I was extremely depressed, and decided that perhaps my feelings towards life were due to a chemical inbalance due to my obesity. I started dieting and exercising routinely and lost 80 pounds and was approaching a normal weight.
Several people say that going to the gym and being active, rather than sitting on your ass watching tv, eating takeout, and on your computer all day releases certain endorphins in the brain to make you not depressed. Needless to say, the "new", quite skinnier, me, was still just as depressed.
I couldn't take any self-worth in the new me. Looking in the mirror and seeing a much more fit person didn't make me feel any different than the old me. My good-looking, in shape friends, like to go to the gym, tan, get in shape, stare in mirror and "feel good about themselves." However, are they really feeling good about themselves? Does a self-worth exist beyond the fact that they know they are more attractive to the opposite sex (or the vast majority of the opposite sex as you guys wouldn't find them too attractive.) Society/darwinism definitely says "in shape, fit is good, and fat/out of shape is bad." There are some movements/changes, but at the end of the day society will always view the fat/unattractive as lesser people. Seth Rogen can become a sort of sex symbol, but the fat, ugly, kid who gets picked last in gym class will still be ostracized, tortured, and hate life, and while that is juvenile...it still won't change from the kindgergarden playgrounds, to the "real world", no matter how many DIMS movements/equality goes on, the human race will go on like that till it dies off.
I know, when a girl told me she was a FFA, my initial reactions were something like... 1. she's lying to make me feel better/more comfortable 2. she's fucking with me for her own personal enjoyment 3. she's full of shit, wtf?! wow, I must be really fucked up right now. It definitely didn't result in confidence/comfortableness, but moreso super awkwardness, and don't think I could ever take pride in something that taboo. (I guess its not taboo on these message boards, though.) I don't know... I couldn't relish in the fact that a good-looking girl was a FFA and thats why she was attracted to me. Its too much like a freakshow/too awkward....although I'm sure some of you have completely different views/experiences. Did any of you guys ever conquer that initial awkwardness in your head from feeling weirdly accepted all of a sudden?
People always joke about "letting go" after getting into a relationship/marriage, etc, because whats the point? If you have someone that cares about you/consistent sex... why would one torture themselves to maintain a certain physique?
Now, the internet/Dimensions message boards have created a very weird social dynamic in that EVERYONE in the world is connected now. Even with dimensions message boards, can a 450 pound male really look at himself in the mirror and say, "damn i look good! I'd fuck me!" and feel good about himself and self-confident? While there might be some girl that has a fetish of being crushed by him or rubbing his stomach, does that translate into acceptance/self-confidence? Does it matter if he was lucky enough to find a FFA? Surely, your sexual preferences, if the BHM also was into big girls, don't also affect how you view yourself, because society should mold how one should view oneself.
I probably come off as a hater, but I assure you I am not. I've always said that there is no such thing as self-worth in one's body, and didn't care at all about society. Now, most people don't agree with me there.... but I still believe the only reason people are slaves to the gym/diets is because the majority of people are deathly afraid of being alone/not fitting in. Being fat is a choice. Every person takes into consideration the pros and cons of dieting/exercise vs. the social/physical effects of your weight, and every person makes that choice on their life.
Anyways, I've rambled a whole lot. I'm sure I must have made a coherent statement or two, I'm sure some people here can chime in/tell me just how completely wrong/right I am in my thoughts. Good night.
