Because I'm sure y'all care exactly what goes through my mind in a given class, here's a by-the-minute rundown of my notes from one of my more boring classes (food sanitation):
Holy Christ, this video is awful. I've seen better acting in porn.
Fuck, there's more. >_<
"I don't know, what do we do?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TRYING TO ACT."
This woman looks like Tiny Tim and Lon Chaney's love-child.
Why is this guy explaining his procedures to a veteran employee?
Nobody talks like these robots. They're like Data, but woodener.
This video is making me angry. Fuck you, government sponsor! And fuck you, robo-people! You won't be enslaving my race on my goddamn watch.
These roles are thankless. I feel sorry for these washouts/waiters.
"Hi, I'm Mitch!" says the Token Black Man with the Token Black Name. We loves us some diversity in Canada. God forbid he be the manager, though.
The fucking head chef's name is Chef. Fuck this shit.
I hate Chef. And Mitch.
This woman couldn't be happier to be walking away from the armed black man. Dear God, did this even have a script? Or a director?
"You've used a knife before, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then you know how to use this."
POINTY END CUTS THINGS. BLUNT END DOESN'T CUT THINGS. FUCK THIS VIDEO.
Emote, motherfucker! It's not that hard. I want to FEEL your passion for food safety.
Ugh, I can't watch this shit. These people are hideous.
Go Mitch! Attaboy, TBM.
This food reminds me of that health class where I saw a penis that had had an untreated STD.
The host looks like a Grey. Just as well; she'd need advanced technology for anyone to probe her anus.
We get it, food poisoning kills. Stop.
No, you can't change the future. The future has already happened by the time you're in a position to "change" it. Fuck these writers.
I love this part: "Use superior suppliers" is accompanied by a clip with a dirty hippie selling sketchy shit from his car. Make that point with a sledgehammer.
This music would be too shitty for an elevator in Hell, which means it's perfect for a low-budget Canadian info flick.
Lord have mercy, this guy is too ugly for a fucking circus. There is NO WAY I'd let him handle my food. Fuck, any food. He might survive to breeding age.
Great, now the music's changed from Downie Calypso to low-budget fetish porn. I never thought it was possible to step both sideways and backwards at the same goddamn time.
"Bacteria timebombs." I prefer "Weapons of Ass Destruction," though, to be fair, this video is obviously from the first Dubya's reign of terra.
This dude has a bitchin' porn-stache.
Now it's back to Calypso. Who scored this shit? Satan?
Gotta love a woman in a power suit. Who ever thought that linebackers made for attractive women?
This cook is obviously a hobo that they got to work for food. Probably the shit that expired during filming.
That chili looks like food poisoning.
Cheesy graphics + flashing "Food Danger Zone!" + stock explosion sounds = Canadian
I dub thee Helga, Queen of Unsafe Food Practices. Wash your fucking hands.
Christ, stop with the close-ups. These people aren't even 80s-attractive.
She looks uncomfortable with a clipboard. Probably not used to being on camera without a cock in her mouth.
Holy Christ, this video is awful. I've seen better acting in porn.
Fuck, there's more. >_<
"I don't know, what do we do?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TRYING TO ACT."
This woman looks like Tiny Tim and Lon Chaney's love-child.
Why is this guy explaining his procedures to a veteran employee?
Nobody talks like these robots. They're like Data, but woodener.
This video is making me angry. Fuck you, government sponsor! And fuck you, robo-people! You won't be enslaving my race on my goddamn watch.
These roles are thankless. I feel sorry for these washouts/waiters.
"Hi, I'm Mitch!" says the Token Black Man with the Token Black Name. We loves us some diversity in Canada. God forbid he be the manager, though.
The fucking head chef's name is Chef. Fuck this shit.
I hate Chef. And Mitch.
This woman couldn't be happier to be walking away from the armed black man. Dear God, did this even have a script? Or a director?
"You've used a knife before, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then you know how to use this."
POINTY END CUTS THINGS. BLUNT END DOESN'T CUT THINGS. FUCK THIS VIDEO.
Emote, motherfucker! It's not that hard. I want to FEEL your passion for food safety.
Ugh, I can't watch this shit. These people are hideous.
Go Mitch! Attaboy, TBM.
This food reminds me of that health class where I saw a penis that had had an untreated STD.
The host looks like a Grey. Just as well; she'd need advanced technology for anyone to probe her anus.
We get it, food poisoning kills. Stop.
No, you can't change the future. The future has already happened by the time you're in a position to "change" it. Fuck these writers.
I love this part: "Use superior suppliers" is accompanied by a clip with a dirty hippie selling sketchy shit from his car. Make that point with a sledgehammer.
This music would be too shitty for an elevator in Hell, which means it's perfect for a low-budget Canadian info flick.
Lord have mercy, this guy is too ugly for a fucking circus. There is NO WAY I'd let him handle my food. Fuck, any food. He might survive to breeding age.
Great, now the music's changed from Downie Calypso to low-budget fetish porn. I never thought it was possible to step both sideways and backwards at the same goddamn time.
"Bacteria timebombs." I prefer "Weapons of Ass Destruction," though, to be fair, this video is obviously from the first Dubya's reign of terra.
This dude has a bitchin' porn-stache.
Now it's back to Calypso. Who scored this shit? Satan?
Gotta love a woman in a power suit. Who ever thought that linebackers made for attractive women?
This cook is obviously a hobo that they got to work for food. Probably the shit that expired during filming.
That chili looks like food poisoning.
Cheesy graphics + flashing "Food Danger Zone!" + stock explosion sounds = Canadian
I dub thee Helga, Queen of Unsafe Food Practices. Wash your fucking hands.
Christ, stop with the close-ups. These people aren't even 80s-attractive.
She looks uncomfortable with a clipboard. Probably not used to being on camera without a cock in her mouth.
