So many of you don't know me that well as I am fairly new. I am looking for some advice but in order to get there, you will need to understand part of my journey to here. So it is a little long, sorry.
I had never really heard of the fat acceptance movement, although I have been fat since my mid twenties and have since become super sized, I guess I just never encountered or read anything about size acceptance.
But last spring I was reading a well done, long term scientific study (by reputable scientists) on people who had gone on a diet and lost weight. It was shocking to me, even though it completely mirrored my own experience, most people(meaning over 50 %) put the weight on plus more in the first couple of years after losing weight, another chunk did so within five years and after ten years a whopping 97%had regained the weight plus some. Which means dieting was only successful for ~3%.
I had always been trying to lose the weight ever since I put it on, I didn't accept it or myself. Upon reading the article(don't remember where), I was devastated, but not being someone who can ignore facts forever, I finally accepted that this is me. I weigh around 400lbs give or take fifteen lbs. I not only accepted it, I started to think I am darn cute why have I been buying into this crap that I am not worthy or cute at any size.
This turn around, on how I view life, has changed a lot about me. One of the biggest changes has been in my confidence and self esteem. I don't know when I allowed it to be stripped from me but it had been. Or maybe it was never very strong to begin with as even when I weighed 130-140 in my teens I felt I was fat. Of course I wasn't but that is the message that I received; I wasn't perfect enough.
Another huge change is in getting things done, no longer do I put things off until I am fit enough or have the self confidence to do something. So this summer was the most productive I have had in the past 5-7 years. I either got things done myself or hired somebody recognizing I couldn't do it and probably never would be able to(knowing I won't be part the that 3% to keep the weight off).
I have also felt a general clearing of a lot of the depression I have experienced along the way(weigh)
there have been a few bumps that I have experienced regarding my depression but in general I have been doing a lot better. Amazing how that happens when you can love and accept yourself .
There has been a huge shift in my life, most of it positive. There have been a few negatives as well, some that have come out of left field so to speak.
One of those areas is that most of my relationships have shifted. I have some people who are close to me that simply cannot accept that I won't go on another diet again in my life. I simply won't. All that will do is to cause me to eventually put the weight back on plus some. To paraphrase Einstein, it is crazy to keep on doing the same thing expecting different results.
These are people that I love. It has been very difficult for me, and we have still not come to a resolution. Interestingly it has been the people who struggle with their own weight that have rejected my new view point the most and have done their best to argue with me about this issue.
Mind you I have not shoved my new view in their face nor attempted to change their point of view. I have simply rejected all suggestions that I try this or that diet, and have not beeen willing to agree with them that I am not acceptable the way I am.
On a happier note my brother has been the most accepting and loving about this transition and for that I am extremely grateful as I have needed his support and unconditional love.
I say all this to ask for some advice. How do I deal with these people? Also as I am sure I will encounter other problems, for those that have traveled this path what other problems will I have or have you had when moving towards acceptance?
I need all the help I can get so even if you are not a BBW/ssbbw please feel free to comment.(mod if you feel this should be posted elsewhere feel free to move it)
I had never really heard of the fat acceptance movement, although I have been fat since my mid twenties and have since become super sized, I guess I just never encountered or read anything about size acceptance.
But last spring I was reading a well done, long term scientific study (by reputable scientists) on people who had gone on a diet and lost weight. It was shocking to me, even though it completely mirrored my own experience, most people(meaning over 50 %) put the weight on plus more in the first couple of years after losing weight, another chunk did so within five years and after ten years a whopping 97%had regained the weight plus some. Which means dieting was only successful for ~3%.
I had always been trying to lose the weight ever since I put it on, I didn't accept it or myself. Upon reading the article(don't remember where), I was devastated, but not being someone who can ignore facts forever, I finally accepted that this is me. I weigh around 400lbs give or take fifteen lbs. I not only accepted it, I started to think I am darn cute why have I been buying into this crap that I am not worthy or cute at any size.
This turn around, on how I view life, has changed a lot about me. One of the biggest changes has been in my confidence and self esteem. I don't know when I allowed it to be stripped from me but it had been. Or maybe it was never very strong to begin with as even when I weighed 130-140 in my teens I felt I was fat. Of course I wasn't but that is the message that I received; I wasn't perfect enough.
Another huge change is in getting things done, no longer do I put things off until I am fit enough or have the self confidence to do something. So this summer was the most productive I have had in the past 5-7 years. I either got things done myself or hired somebody recognizing I couldn't do it and probably never would be able to(knowing I won't be part the that 3% to keep the weight off).
I have also felt a general clearing of a lot of the depression I have experienced along the way(weigh)
there have been a few bumps that I have experienced regarding my depression but in general I have been doing a lot better. Amazing how that happens when you can love and accept yourself .There has been a huge shift in my life, most of it positive. There have been a few negatives as well, some that have come out of left field so to speak.
One of those areas is that most of my relationships have shifted. I have some people who are close to me that simply cannot accept that I won't go on another diet again in my life. I simply won't. All that will do is to cause me to eventually put the weight back on plus some. To paraphrase Einstein, it is crazy to keep on doing the same thing expecting different results.
These are people that I love. It has been very difficult for me, and we have still not come to a resolution. Interestingly it has been the people who struggle with their own weight that have rejected my new view point the most and have done their best to argue with me about this issue.
Mind you I have not shoved my new view in their face nor attempted to change their point of view. I have simply rejected all suggestions that I try this or that diet, and have not beeen willing to agree with them that I am not acceptable the way I am.
On a happier note my brother has been the most accepting and loving about this transition and for that I am extremely grateful as I have needed his support and unconditional love.
I say all this to ask for some advice. How do I deal with these people? Also as I am sure I will encounter other problems, for those that have traveled this path what other problems will I have or have you had when moving towards acceptance?
I need all the help I can get so even if you are not a BBW/ssbbw please feel free to comment.(mod if you feel this should be posted elsewhere feel free to move it)
