Butterbelly
Melting in the desert
I'm not exactly sure where to begin, so I'll start with recent and backtrack.
Several months ago, I met a very nice guy. He and I worked on a project together through a job I had. At first, I didn't bother to really get to know him, just wanted to finish the project and move on to the next. A co-worker of mine came to me one day and said "I think Mike is smitten with you." I asked her why, and she told me that she had heard him talking about me to another co-worker, inquiring more information about me. I was not the least bit amused, in fact, I was rather pissy that he was inquiring about me through people who did not know me what-so-ever.
I tried to ignore that this man had asked about me, until one day I just couldn't even stand being in the same room with him. I finally asked him why he was asking around about me. His answer was simple: "I like you, I find you fascinating, the way your brain works." He didn't say a word about my body, or something to the effect of: "I find you attractive"...so I was torn as to whether he was attracted to all of me or just my brain.
We ended up dating for a few months, and I have to say, he truly is the nicest man I've ever met. My weight was never an issue and in fact, it was very rarely brought up. When we did talk about my weight, it was always in a positive way, as I explained to him the whole size acceptance. I do not really consider him a FA...really more the type that loves women of all sizes, and shapes.
Here is my struggle: I want a guy to like me for all of me, including my body. But what I don't want, is a man to focus on my body...I don't ever want it to be the primary factor as to why we are together. I love my body...I want a guy to love my body...but I don't want him to love my body more than he loves me. Nor do I want a man to determine how much I should weigh or lose.
I'd love to meet a FA, but I worry that by dating a FA, he's going to focus on my body, and not, what I consider, the more important things. I have way too many other good (some not so good) qualities to share with someone...and I don't ever want my weight to be factored into that.
I know i can't have my cake and eat it too...I just don't know how to get past this struggle.
Several months ago, I met a very nice guy. He and I worked on a project together through a job I had. At first, I didn't bother to really get to know him, just wanted to finish the project and move on to the next. A co-worker of mine came to me one day and said "I think Mike is smitten with you." I asked her why, and she told me that she had heard him talking about me to another co-worker, inquiring more information about me. I was not the least bit amused, in fact, I was rather pissy that he was inquiring about me through people who did not know me what-so-ever.
I tried to ignore that this man had asked about me, until one day I just couldn't even stand being in the same room with him. I finally asked him why he was asking around about me. His answer was simple: "I like you, I find you fascinating, the way your brain works." He didn't say a word about my body, or something to the effect of: "I find you attractive"...so I was torn as to whether he was attracted to all of me or just my brain.
We ended up dating for a few months, and I have to say, he truly is the nicest man I've ever met. My weight was never an issue and in fact, it was very rarely brought up. When we did talk about my weight, it was always in a positive way, as I explained to him the whole size acceptance. I do not really consider him a FA...really more the type that loves women of all sizes, and shapes.
Here is my struggle: I want a guy to like me for all of me, including my body. But what I don't want, is a man to focus on my body...I don't ever want it to be the primary factor as to why we are together. I love my body...I want a guy to love my body...but I don't want him to love my body more than he loves me. Nor do I want a man to determine how much I should weigh or lose.
I'd love to meet a FA, but I worry that by dating a FA, he's going to focus on my body, and not, what I consider, the more important things. I have way too many other good (some not so good) qualities to share with someone...and I don't ever want my weight to be factored into that.
I know i can't have my cake and eat it too...I just don't know how to get past this struggle.
