Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
~BHM, ~FFA - A woman tries to come to terms with her preferences after being deeply hurt.
Chapter 1
The beach was a terrific spot to sightsee. Of course, like all sightseeing, one had to look beyond the general landscape for the more...stimulating…features. Case in point, ten o'clock!
Jayne flipped the end of her long, soft ponytail against her lips, salivating. She hummed softly to herself as she carefully 'not-looked' at a man in his mid-thirties. Strolling along the water's edge, he was letting the cool water lap at his ankles, seemingly unaware of any other person.
Despite his looking down in apparent deep thought, Jayne had been caught staring enough to know that her attention was absolutely not appreciated, and took special care that her large, black sunglasses were turned away...while her large, black eyes ogled him.
Now, here is how the romance novel is supposed to go. He strode down the beach, his hair blowing softly as the water surged around him. Tight jeans hugged muscular thighs and a tiny waist. His muscular shoulders and huge arms rippled as he turned to look at her....his gorgeous face, tanned, green eyes...dangerous. Those eyes softened as they set upon her and almost immediately he recognized her as his won….twue….wub!!!! Blaaaaaarg.
The sudden jolt against her shoulder startled her. Turning her eyes upon her friend, Jayne saw that Lou’s chin was jutting expressively towards the man, a smirk playing across her face.
Louise raised her brows, tucking her chin in so that her glasses slid down her nose. "Psst. Check out the Fatottie at ten o'clock."
The word had originated as 'fat hottie', but over time she has slurred it to be fa-tottie. Like biscotti. Definitely something om-nom worthy.
"Don't pretend like you can't see him; he is taking up like half the beach," she added when Jayne appeared to cast about, studiously avoiding the object of her recent admiration.
"Shut up, Lou!" Jayne hissed, glaring balefully - which had zero impact, as the look was effectively rendered invisible by her shades. "He might hear you!"
"So what, I just called him a fat-hottie - as in fat AND hot." The slender woman rolled onto her stomach and rested her elbows in the sand, palms cupping her chin as she stared at the man. "I mean, he isn't my type, but he is soooo yours!"
She flashed an irrepressible grin. "Look at that stomach - it kinda ripples when he walks, and he has super chubby cheeks! You looooveeee it!”
Her tone was sing-songy, feet kicking around childishly in the air.
Jayne twisted herself onto her back midair, the soft sand providing a surprising amount of resistance, knocking the wind out of her lungs. She stared up at the sky, squinting into the brightness. "You suck."
"And you love it." She made a smooching sound. "I mean, half the guys you ended up with was because of moi!"
She batted hot sand onto Jayne's legs.
The mild burning made her yelp and jerk away. "I'd also like to point out that the last relationship I was in got me 'all messed up' in your words. Look, I'm not even sure what I want in a man anymore, either physically or mentally or...whatever. Like, well, I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I am not so sure. I don't think I am ready for a relationship anyway. All I would be doing is bringing my baggage with me and making both of us miserable."
"You love the fatties! You always have!" That was one of the problems with Louise. The positive, straightforward attitude that made her an excellent friend also rendered any deep thought or considerations seemingly impossible. She wasn't simple, but in some ways she was as innocent as a child. If she wanted something, she took it. She never seemed to hesitate at all, and any hard knocks seemed to pass her by, or leave her unaffected. Even the ones that hit her only caused her to scramble back up with a grin and a ‘Wow, did you see that??’
"I don't want to talk about it."
I CAN'T talk about it, Jayne thought, anguished.
It was too close, too deep, too messed up. It was hard enough on her that Lou knew her weirdness, and it was all she could do to prevent her from practically announcing it to everyone. "Hey, this is my friend Jayne - she likes chubby guys *wink*, why don't you ask her out for a drink? Oh hey Tom, is that your wing man? Because I know my girlie would just loooove to meet a man of such substance."
Jayne shuddered to think what her friend would let slip if she divulged her fantasies to her friend, let alone what had happened to make her into a sexual recluse before the age of thirty.
"You are going to have to get over whatever happened eventually. It's been over a year, chicka...you know what they say...if you don't use it, you lose it." Green eyes met hers, winking.
Jayne snorted in spite of herself. "Well, if my vagina falls off from lack of use I'll be sure to let you know. You are such a loser."
Jayne glanced at the man - whose pants were hugging meaty thighs, and were tight around his waist. She could only tell by the bit visible between his softly hanging gut and bulging love handles. Some romance novel. A fat hero, and a heroine who was so messed up she cried during sex?
"I just like to come to the beach and look. Eye candy. I'm not ready yet, ok? Please, just stop pushing." Her heart was thundering loudly, and she could feel her throat start to tighten. Not now.
Lou sat up, hearing something in Jayne's voice that stirred even her placid nature into attention. "Are you SURE you don't want to talk about it, ‘Nay-‘Nay...? I mean...you can't keep shit inside. It festers..."
At Jayne's adamant shake of the head, she ventured, "Have you thought about seeing...'the rapist?' again?" A cute term for a therapist. "I mean, that’s what they are there for."
A feeling of dull panic settled over her. An adrenaline rush flashed over her hot, leaving her cold as her limbs trembled.
"Look, I know how to self analyze, I don’t need a therapist!" She bit out, feeling tears start in her eyes. "I'm not afraid of dating anyone! Just because I haven't found a guy doesn't mean I can't or won't! Why is it so important that I have to be with someone?”
The fat man walked by them as she finished hissing. Each step, landing firmly in the sand, caused his tubby lower belly to ripple. And as his feet sunk into the sand, it caused his arms to swing, causing that belly to crease up against his love handles, and those love handles to push up into his back fat, as his back fat pushed down. It was erotic.
Sometimes Jayne wondered if she was more masculine than other girls, or if she has lesbian qualities or something - because the only other people she saw who seemed to feel this, were men staring hungrily at women's breasts. There was something so alluring, yet so stimulating. She wished she could get up and talk to him. Or better yet, lay him down in the sand and ride him right here, right now. Gads she was horny!!!
“Because you are lonely, lovey,” Lou said quietly.
The man must have noticed her staring, for his pudgy cheeks flushed and he set a thick hand on his belly as if to stop its pendulum like motion as he set his eyes resolutely in front of him. As he passed within a couple feet, he growled 'bugger off', and turned his face to glare.
Jayne recoiled as if slapped, shame drowning out every other emotion as she exhaled shakily. Her cheeks were so hot the sun felt cool, and her head felt so light that she wondered if she was going to pass out. What was WRONG with her? Why did everything she liked about guys make them feel like crap? Why couldn't she just like the typical body type? What had made her be so mis-wired? She turned her face and buried it into Lou's neck, wishing the sand would swallow her up.
Over Jayne's shoulder, Lou met the man's eyes, which were now startled, as he paused. His head was turned back questioningly.
She thinks you're hot, Lou mouthed to him, stroking Jayne's hair silently. The man looked startled, glancing down at himself. Or more specifically, his gut. He touched it, seemingly without realizing it. When he glanced up, guarded, Lou stared at his gut pointedly before returning her eyes to him.
Yeah. That. Chubby Chaser! She mouthed again, enunciating the last silently. She pointed her free hand down at her friend in the least subtle way possible. If Jayne had seen she probably would have expired with shame, right on the spot.
The guy did a double take, glancing around as if he expected cameras to pop out like some reality show. When nothing happened, he scratched the back of his head before pulling out his wallet. He thumbed through it briefly before dropping his business card on the sand by her hand, pointing at Jayne. He didn't seem to want to stay though, for he started to turn away immediately.
Lou winked saucily and gave him a thumbs up before tugging the card into her bikini top.
Jayne had pulled away to wipe her eyes, ignorant of her friend's staunch efforts to land her a date in spite of herself. When she looked up, the man was standing near them, looking awkward, as if he was about to leave. Why was he still here?
I got it, ok, I am all messed up, can’t you just leave? She demanded silently.
Suddenly, he shuffled closer and leaned down, causing his belly to push forward and hang with torpid grace over his belt.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. You took me by surprise, thought you were staring. The name's Greg," he said, offering her his hand. His voice was pleasant, and at this angle, with Jayne on the floor, she was nearly eye level with that burgeouning ball of lard.
It was only after Lou took her hand and put it in his that Jayne remembered to mumble her name. Greg half smiled, and pressed a business card into her hand.
"If you want to…," he half stated, half inquired. When she just stared up at him blankly, he stood, ruffled his hair and sighed. "Er, right then. Anyways...Have a great day, ladies."
He cast a slightly reproachful glance over his shoulder as he left.
Jayne fingered the card, staring at it in a sort of abject horror.
"Look at that!" Lou's delighted squeal sounded in her ear. "You got the fatottie's chasing YOU now. You should go on a date with him. What a cutie! And that voice – ah!”
"What..." Jayne's face hardened, and she flipped her sunglasses over her head. "I don't know what you did, but what the ....!?"
"I didn't say anything! You heard me!" Lou protested, raising her right hand. "Scout's honour!" She added. Taking the card Jayne was holding with her left hand and examined it. "Ouuaaaaahhhh," she said. "Lookie - a lawyer! Hot, and smart!"
Something was off here. Jayne knew it, but was too miserable to push the subject any farther. She had NEVER seen a fat man who had the confidence to just ask her out – and he had just been glaring at her. She felt like the big, gaping, festering hole Randy had left had been ripped wide open again.
Pretending to take the card back, she buried it in the sand. No way was she going down that path again.
I would rather be alone the rest of my life, she thought viciously as Lou nattered on. But...maybe she should see someone. Not to get back into dating, but she seemed to make everyone around her uncomfortable or miserable because of her fucked up fetish. Maybe she could figure out a way to get back into a normal sex life? Surely she could be put back to rights again?
She glanced over her shoulder for the tubby guy, but he was nowhere in sight.
(Continued in post 11 of this thread)
Negativity
by Xyantha
by Xyantha
Chapter 1
The beach was a terrific spot to sightsee. Of course, like all sightseeing, one had to look beyond the general landscape for the more...stimulating…features. Case in point, ten o'clock!
Jayne flipped the end of her long, soft ponytail against her lips, salivating. She hummed softly to herself as she carefully 'not-looked' at a man in his mid-thirties. Strolling along the water's edge, he was letting the cool water lap at his ankles, seemingly unaware of any other person.
Despite his looking down in apparent deep thought, Jayne had been caught staring enough to know that her attention was absolutely not appreciated, and took special care that her large, black sunglasses were turned away...while her large, black eyes ogled him.
Now, here is how the romance novel is supposed to go. He strode down the beach, his hair blowing softly as the water surged around him. Tight jeans hugged muscular thighs and a tiny waist. His muscular shoulders and huge arms rippled as he turned to look at her....his gorgeous face, tanned, green eyes...dangerous. Those eyes softened as they set upon her and almost immediately he recognized her as his won….twue….wub!!!! Blaaaaaarg.
The sudden jolt against her shoulder startled her. Turning her eyes upon her friend, Jayne saw that Lou’s chin was jutting expressively towards the man, a smirk playing across her face.
Louise raised her brows, tucking her chin in so that her glasses slid down her nose. "Psst. Check out the Fatottie at ten o'clock."
The word had originated as 'fat hottie', but over time she has slurred it to be fa-tottie. Like biscotti. Definitely something om-nom worthy.
"Don't pretend like you can't see him; he is taking up like half the beach," she added when Jayne appeared to cast about, studiously avoiding the object of her recent admiration.
"Shut up, Lou!" Jayne hissed, glaring balefully - which had zero impact, as the look was effectively rendered invisible by her shades. "He might hear you!"
"So what, I just called him a fat-hottie - as in fat AND hot." The slender woman rolled onto her stomach and rested her elbows in the sand, palms cupping her chin as she stared at the man. "I mean, he isn't my type, but he is soooo yours!"
She flashed an irrepressible grin. "Look at that stomach - it kinda ripples when he walks, and he has super chubby cheeks! You looooveeee it!”
Her tone was sing-songy, feet kicking around childishly in the air.
Jayne twisted herself onto her back midair, the soft sand providing a surprising amount of resistance, knocking the wind out of her lungs. She stared up at the sky, squinting into the brightness. "You suck."
"And you love it." She made a smooching sound. "I mean, half the guys you ended up with was because of moi!"
She batted hot sand onto Jayne's legs.
The mild burning made her yelp and jerk away. "I'd also like to point out that the last relationship I was in got me 'all messed up' in your words. Look, I'm not even sure what I want in a man anymore, either physically or mentally or...whatever. Like, well, I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I am not so sure. I don't think I am ready for a relationship anyway. All I would be doing is bringing my baggage with me and making both of us miserable."
"You love the fatties! You always have!" That was one of the problems with Louise. The positive, straightforward attitude that made her an excellent friend also rendered any deep thought or considerations seemingly impossible. She wasn't simple, but in some ways she was as innocent as a child. If she wanted something, she took it. She never seemed to hesitate at all, and any hard knocks seemed to pass her by, or leave her unaffected. Even the ones that hit her only caused her to scramble back up with a grin and a ‘Wow, did you see that??’
"I don't want to talk about it."
I CAN'T talk about it, Jayne thought, anguished.
It was too close, too deep, too messed up. It was hard enough on her that Lou knew her weirdness, and it was all she could do to prevent her from practically announcing it to everyone. "Hey, this is my friend Jayne - she likes chubby guys *wink*, why don't you ask her out for a drink? Oh hey Tom, is that your wing man? Because I know my girlie would just loooove to meet a man of such substance."
Jayne shuddered to think what her friend would let slip if she divulged her fantasies to her friend, let alone what had happened to make her into a sexual recluse before the age of thirty.
"You are going to have to get over whatever happened eventually. It's been over a year, chicka...you know what they say...if you don't use it, you lose it." Green eyes met hers, winking.
Jayne snorted in spite of herself. "Well, if my vagina falls off from lack of use I'll be sure to let you know. You are such a loser."
Jayne glanced at the man - whose pants were hugging meaty thighs, and were tight around his waist. She could only tell by the bit visible between his softly hanging gut and bulging love handles. Some romance novel. A fat hero, and a heroine who was so messed up she cried during sex?
"I just like to come to the beach and look. Eye candy. I'm not ready yet, ok? Please, just stop pushing." Her heart was thundering loudly, and she could feel her throat start to tighten. Not now.
Lou sat up, hearing something in Jayne's voice that stirred even her placid nature into attention. "Are you SURE you don't want to talk about it, ‘Nay-‘Nay...? I mean...you can't keep shit inside. It festers..."
At Jayne's adamant shake of the head, she ventured, "Have you thought about seeing...'the rapist?' again?" A cute term for a therapist. "I mean, that’s what they are there for."
A feeling of dull panic settled over her. An adrenaline rush flashed over her hot, leaving her cold as her limbs trembled.
"Look, I know how to self analyze, I don’t need a therapist!" She bit out, feeling tears start in her eyes. "I'm not afraid of dating anyone! Just because I haven't found a guy doesn't mean I can't or won't! Why is it so important that I have to be with someone?”
The fat man walked by them as she finished hissing. Each step, landing firmly in the sand, caused his tubby lower belly to ripple. And as his feet sunk into the sand, it caused his arms to swing, causing that belly to crease up against his love handles, and those love handles to push up into his back fat, as his back fat pushed down. It was erotic.
Sometimes Jayne wondered if she was more masculine than other girls, or if she has lesbian qualities or something - because the only other people she saw who seemed to feel this, were men staring hungrily at women's breasts. There was something so alluring, yet so stimulating. She wished she could get up and talk to him. Or better yet, lay him down in the sand and ride him right here, right now. Gads she was horny!!!
“Because you are lonely, lovey,” Lou said quietly.
The man must have noticed her staring, for his pudgy cheeks flushed and he set a thick hand on his belly as if to stop its pendulum like motion as he set his eyes resolutely in front of him. As he passed within a couple feet, he growled 'bugger off', and turned his face to glare.
Jayne recoiled as if slapped, shame drowning out every other emotion as she exhaled shakily. Her cheeks were so hot the sun felt cool, and her head felt so light that she wondered if she was going to pass out. What was WRONG with her? Why did everything she liked about guys make them feel like crap? Why couldn't she just like the typical body type? What had made her be so mis-wired? She turned her face and buried it into Lou's neck, wishing the sand would swallow her up.
Over Jayne's shoulder, Lou met the man's eyes, which were now startled, as he paused. His head was turned back questioningly.
She thinks you're hot, Lou mouthed to him, stroking Jayne's hair silently. The man looked startled, glancing down at himself. Or more specifically, his gut. He touched it, seemingly without realizing it. When he glanced up, guarded, Lou stared at his gut pointedly before returning her eyes to him.
Yeah. That. Chubby Chaser! She mouthed again, enunciating the last silently. She pointed her free hand down at her friend in the least subtle way possible. If Jayne had seen she probably would have expired with shame, right on the spot.
The guy did a double take, glancing around as if he expected cameras to pop out like some reality show. When nothing happened, he scratched the back of his head before pulling out his wallet. He thumbed through it briefly before dropping his business card on the sand by her hand, pointing at Jayne. He didn't seem to want to stay though, for he started to turn away immediately.
Lou winked saucily and gave him a thumbs up before tugging the card into her bikini top.
Jayne had pulled away to wipe her eyes, ignorant of her friend's staunch efforts to land her a date in spite of herself. When she looked up, the man was standing near them, looking awkward, as if he was about to leave. Why was he still here?
I got it, ok, I am all messed up, can’t you just leave? She demanded silently.
Suddenly, he shuffled closer and leaned down, causing his belly to push forward and hang with torpid grace over his belt.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. You took me by surprise, thought you were staring. The name's Greg," he said, offering her his hand. His voice was pleasant, and at this angle, with Jayne on the floor, she was nearly eye level with that burgeouning ball of lard.
It was only after Lou took her hand and put it in his that Jayne remembered to mumble her name. Greg half smiled, and pressed a business card into her hand.
"If you want to…," he half stated, half inquired. When she just stared up at him blankly, he stood, ruffled his hair and sighed. "Er, right then. Anyways...Have a great day, ladies."
He cast a slightly reproachful glance over his shoulder as he left.
Jayne fingered the card, staring at it in a sort of abject horror.
"Look at that!" Lou's delighted squeal sounded in her ear. "You got the fatottie's chasing YOU now. You should go on a date with him. What a cutie! And that voice – ah!”
"What..." Jayne's face hardened, and she flipped her sunglasses over her head. "I don't know what you did, but what the ....!?"
"I didn't say anything! You heard me!" Lou protested, raising her right hand. "Scout's honour!" She added. Taking the card Jayne was holding with her left hand and examined it. "Ouuaaaaahhhh," she said. "Lookie - a lawyer! Hot, and smart!"
Something was off here. Jayne knew it, but was too miserable to push the subject any farther. She had NEVER seen a fat man who had the confidence to just ask her out – and he had just been glaring at her. She felt like the big, gaping, festering hole Randy had left had been ripped wide open again.
Pretending to take the card back, she buried it in the sand. No way was she going down that path again.
I would rather be alone the rest of my life, she thought viciously as Lou nattered on. But...maybe she should see someone. Not to get back into dating, but she seemed to make everyone around her uncomfortable or miserable because of her fucked up fetish. Maybe she could figure out a way to get back into a normal sex life? Surely she could be put back to rights again?
She glanced over her shoulder for the tubby guy, but he was nowhere in sight.
(Continued in post 11 of this thread)
