Carrieanderson
Member
Hi Everyone,
I just discovered this site and feel like I have found a home. My name is Carrie, I am 30 years old, and presently live in North Carolina. It's so nice to see a place where those of us who aren't model thin are accepted and loved. I do have a question though, and hope it's okay to ask here. (I wasn't sure where to list it.)
It's seems like most of you, regardless of your size, are comfortable and love the way you are, even in pictures. I think this is awesome!!! But that's not me, and I was wondering if anyone feels like I do.
A little about me. Like I said, I am 30, newly divorced, and I teach 5th grade. I've been a "big girl" since I was a toddler I think, but over the years I've gone from being a "big girl" to being they way I am now. I am only 5'3" so I'm certainly not tall, and at the hospital the other day I weighed in at 467lbs. I have to go there to get weighed before each Dr. appt., because the scale at her office won't accomodate me. About a year ago this time I was around 410 I think. Anyway, it's not so much the way I look that I object to, though I have to admit I feel like the weight has taken over and it's hard to even see "me" anymore under all of it. But like I said, Im only 30, and a teacher, so I have to be up and about. It's hard - very hard - but I do it, usually sweating and breathing hard through each day. I have very high blood pressure, high cholesterol, am border-line diabetic, and have severe arthritis in both knees and one hip already. Like a lot of women, I carry a lot of weight in my belly, and it has gone past the point of being a cute belly to a huge, heavy nuisance. Needless to say I have an enormous "apron," (and the rashes to go with it) and with this belly hanging like it does now I have a hard time even getting around, because it's like Im dragging this blob around with me. Not to mention that I cannot see anything in front of me - like where I am walking. It's all belly. My back hurts so bad after I stand, or walk long, and even looking at stairs is a nightmare now. I had some clothes made recently and my waist (or where it would be) is 77" and my hips are 90" I feel very alone, because NO ONE I know is my size, and I cannot keep up with anyone when I do try to be social. My body hurts constantly. I am NOT interested in WLS - that's just too scary for me. But, I feel like I am at that point where I HAVE to do something. My doctor has had me try so many "programs, pills, etc." that they are too numerous to even name. I may lose a little, but before long Im even fatter than before I started. My family has always hated the fact that I am fat, but as I have gotten even bigger they basically look at me as something to be ashamed of. The problem is I LOVE food (surprise, huh?) to the point where I eat more than most people probably do in 3 days. It's nothing for me to go to three different drive-thru's and get 2 supersized meals at each, eat them in the car, then go home to ice cream, cookies, more sandwiches - whatever is available. I have eaten so much for so long that even when I try to cut back the desire is too strong. I truly think I am addicted to food, if thats really possible. My doctor is at her wits end as to how to try and help me. My health continues to decline, yet I keep eating constantly (I even keep candy bars in my desk at school to stuff in while my classes change,) and I am getting fatter and fatter.
I know this is a size acceptance place, and I certainly respect that, but I was just wondering if anyone else out there can understand or feels like I do. Does anyone feel like they just CAN'T stop eating? If any of you have lost weight, how did you do it? It's not that I hate being fat - I just don't want to be so fat that I reach the point of no return or die. 467lbs is just too much for my 5'3" body. Im scared, and any thoughts would be appreciated. Forgive me if this was innapropriate to post on this forum.
Thanks,
Carrie
I just discovered this site and feel like I have found a home. My name is Carrie, I am 30 years old, and presently live in North Carolina. It's so nice to see a place where those of us who aren't model thin are accepted and loved. I do have a question though, and hope it's okay to ask here. (I wasn't sure where to list it.)
It's seems like most of you, regardless of your size, are comfortable and love the way you are, even in pictures. I think this is awesome!!! But that's not me, and I was wondering if anyone feels like I do.
A little about me. Like I said, I am 30, newly divorced, and I teach 5th grade. I've been a "big girl" since I was a toddler I think, but over the years I've gone from being a "big girl" to being they way I am now. I am only 5'3" so I'm certainly not tall, and at the hospital the other day I weighed in at 467lbs. I have to go there to get weighed before each Dr. appt., because the scale at her office won't accomodate me. About a year ago this time I was around 410 I think. Anyway, it's not so much the way I look that I object to, though I have to admit I feel like the weight has taken over and it's hard to even see "me" anymore under all of it. But like I said, Im only 30, and a teacher, so I have to be up and about. It's hard - very hard - but I do it, usually sweating and breathing hard through each day. I have very high blood pressure, high cholesterol, am border-line diabetic, and have severe arthritis in both knees and one hip already. Like a lot of women, I carry a lot of weight in my belly, and it has gone past the point of being a cute belly to a huge, heavy nuisance. Needless to say I have an enormous "apron," (and the rashes to go with it) and with this belly hanging like it does now I have a hard time even getting around, because it's like Im dragging this blob around with me. Not to mention that I cannot see anything in front of me - like where I am walking. It's all belly. My back hurts so bad after I stand, or walk long, and even looking at stairs is a nightmare now. I had some clothes made recently and my waist (or where it would be) is 77" and my hips are 90" I feel very alone, because NO ONE I know is my size, and I cannot keep up with anyone when I do try to be social. My body hurts constantly. I am NOT interested in WLS - that's just too scary for me. But, I feel like I am at that point where I HAVE to do something. My doctor has had me try so many "programs, pills, etc." that they are too numerous to even name. I may lose a little, but before long Im even fatter than before I started. My family has always hated the fact that I am fat, but as I have gotten even bigger they basically look at me as something to be ashamed of. The problem is I LOVE food (surprise, huh?) to the point where I eat more than most people probably do in 3 days. It's nothing for me to go to three different drive-thru's and get 2 supersized meals at each, eat them in the car, then go home to ice cream, cookies, more sandwiches - whatever is available. I have eaten so much for so long that even when I try to cut back the desire is too strong. I truly think I am addicted to food, if thats really possible. My doctor is at her wits end as to how to try and help me. My health continues to decline, yet I keep eating constantly (I even keep candy bars in my desk at school to stuff in while my classes change,) and I am getting fatter and fatter.
I know this is a size acceptance place, and I certainly respect that, but I was just wondering if anyone else out there can understand or feels like I do. Does anyone feel like they just CAN'T stop eating? If any of you have lost weight, how did you do it? It's not that I hate being fat - I just don't want to be so fat that I reach the point of no return or die. 467lbs is just too much for my 5'3" body. Im scared, and any thoughts would be appreciated. Forgive me if this was innapropriate to post on this forum.
Thanks,
Carrie
