biodieselman
Well-Known Member
Hey guys, I'm talking to the men here. How do you quell those Neanderthal urges? I know you've convinced yourself, "Not me! I'm not a Neanderthal!" Deluding yourself, making believe "I'm evolved".
But I know those base, Neanderthal urges are there in my fellow men, lying just beneath the surface.
I had a serious Neanderthal attack this past Memorial weekend. Here's how I satiated the inner beast.
"The drive to hunt & bring home a fresh kill to feed my wife." OK, OK, I fired up the vegetable oil burner & picked up four racks of babyback ribs from the local butcher. But hey, I brought home the bacon! Well... it is pork.
"Fire!" It's time to start a fire! Uncovered the smoker, opened her up and...
. I never cleaned the smoker from last summer's last feast. I don't want to scrub that filthy thing with steel wool & a wire brush.
Then the light bulb lit up!
"Power!" I've got a power washer! Man, I blasted those grates & rib rack sparkling clean. Quick & easy.
"Fire!" Alright, now it's time for some fire. But none of that fake, petroleum-soaked, glued-together coal dust & waste wood product. No sir! Only pure, clean, simple, lump hardwood charcoal for my feast! All I need for fire is my charcoal lighter, a couple sheets of newspaper, lump hardwood charcoal & a match.
The coals are hot! It's time to assemble the "stack". I filled the basin, which is just above the coals, with water to keep the meat juicy & moist.
"Fresh kill!" Here's the racks of ribs on the fire. I choked down the combustion air on the smoker to maintain 170-180 degree cooking temperatures for about 5 1/2 hours.
In the last 1 1/2 hours of cooking, I threw chunks of mesquite on top of the coals, which I had soaked in water overnight, to smoke the ribs. I doused the ribs with mesquite barbeque sauce in the last half hour.
Here's the bounty from our garden & our glorious feast. The ribs were juicy & absolutely tender to perfection. Ris prepared some blackeyed peas & pasta salad with our homegrown Sweet 100 cherry tomatoes. We had stopped off at a bakery for some fresh bread.
For dessert, we cleansed our taste buds with out last two Washington navel oranges for the season. The fresh-picked rainbow Swiss chard, broccoli, German Hardy garlic, and onions are for the coming week's meals.
I'm still feeling stuffed from yesterday's feast but not too full to enjoy leftover ribs for tonight's dinner.:eat1:
"Lust!" The real men here are thinking, "Well... that's a nice meal, but is that it?" No... this whole exercise isn't only about a hearty meal. It's a means to satiate the most base Neanderthal beast. Ultimately it's about providing for my mate. Filling her belly, putting her in a "good mood". And no... I'm not sharing "those" details. There are some things a gentleman keeps to himself. (I'm not a total Neanderthal.) It's all for my little "Garlic Queen". Beauty & the Beast.
Check out how big that German garlic is that Ris is holding.
"He took one of the cloves and peeled its skin with his thumbnail. He undressed her until she was naked just like the day she was born, with the white lines of her breast, with the secretive flesh. That was how the clove appeared in all its glory, the one, the simple, the clear and the pure."
Medieval
But I know those base, Neanderthal urges are there in my fellow men, lying just beneath the surface.I had a serious Neanderthal attack this past Memorial weekend. Here's how I satiated the inner beast.
"The drive to hunt & bring home a fresh kill to feed my wife." OK, OK, I fired up the vegetable oil burner & picked up four racks of babyback ribs from the local butcher. But hey, I brought home the bacon! Well... it is pork.
"Fire!" It's time to start a fire! Uncovered the smoker, opened her up and...
Then the light bulb lit up!
"Power!" I've got a power washer! Man, I blasted those grates & rib rack sparkling clean. Quick & easy.
"Fire!" Alright, now it's time for some fire. But none of that fake, petroleum-soaked, glued-together coal dust & waste wood product. No sir! Only pure, clean, simple, lump hardwood charcoal for my feast! All I need for fire is my charcoal lighter, a couple sheets of newspaper, lump hardwood charcoal & a match.
The coals are hot! It's time to assemble the "stack". I filled the basin, which is just above the coals, with water to keep the meat juicy & moist.
In the last 1 1/2 hours of cooking, I threw chunks of mesquite on top of the coals, which I had soaked in water overnight, to smoke the ribs. I doused the ribs with mesquite barbeque sauce in the last half hour.
Here's the bounty from our garden & our glorious feast. The ribs were juicy & absolutely tender to perfection. Ris prepared some blackeyed peas & pasta salad with our homegrown Sweet 100 cherry tomatoes. We had stopped off at a bakery for some fresh bread.
For dessert, we cleansed our taste buds with out last two Washington navel oranges for the season. The fresh-picked rainbow Swiss chard, broccoli, German Hardy garlic, and onions are for the coming week's meals.
I'm still feeling stuffed from yesterday's feast but not too full to enjoy leftover ribs for tonight's dinner.:eat1:
"Lust!" The real men here are thinking, "Well... that's a nice meal, but is that it?" No... this whole exercise isn't only about a hearty meal. It's a means to satiate the most base Neanderthal beast. Ultimately it's about providing for my mate. Filling her belly, putting her in a "good mood". And no... I'm not sharing "those" details. There are some things a gentleman keeps to himself. (I'm not a total Neanderthal.) It's all for my little "Garlic Queen". Beauty & the Beast.
Check out how big that German garlic is that Ris is holding.
"He took one of the cloves and peeled its skin with his thumbnail. He undressed her until she was naked just like the day she was born, with the white lines of her breast, with the secretive flesh. That was how the clove appeared in all its glory, the one, the simple, the clear and the pure."
Medieval
