Edens_heel
Well-Known Member
I discovered this thread in the weight board:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35529
Now, Fachad brought up some interesting queries about things he was struggling with, but one post by FA Man Stan in particular shone a harsh light on something that I really haven't seen discussed too much - the question of guilt in being an FA. To quote Stan:
To clarify: I am an FA, I am proud of this, and I love my partner very much, and would love her just as much if she was not a stunningly gorgeous BBW. But I wonder how many FA's, those of us who are FA's because we love every aspect of extra weight on a woman or man and not because we are fetishizing them, have struggled with guilt over their problems.
I am a firm believer that being an FA is no different than any other preference, be it for blondes, brunettes, tall, short, black, white, etc. Yes, it is fetishized for some, but for most of us it feels exactly like any preference. But with one small caveat: forgetting everything that pop culture, media, family, and friends drills into our minds about fat not being right, weight still has many obstacles in the world, chief among them being the issue of health. Subsequent to that, though, is that for a great many overweight people, regardless of the support and love and devotion they may receive, most still hate their fat and wish it to hell in a handbasket.
So how do you react when your partner tells you that they hate their fat - compeltely and utterly hate it? Those who truly love their partners would of course stand by them and help in any way that they could, but on a personal level, as an FA or FFA, would you feel betrayed or alone on some level that might lead you to feel guilty or "wrong" for liking what it is that you happen to love and lust after? Do you know or think that you might look inward and ask "is there something wrong with my preference?" or that you might feel as if there is a sudden loss of connection between you and your partner? We all crave the idea of having a true love, a partner in crime, but if you are with a BBW or BHM and they truly want to lose their weight no matter what or how you feel about it and try to make them feel about it, do you feel as if your preference is meant to be maligned against on some level?
This is about the identity of an FA / FFA. Has your partners feelings and desires to be part of the "thin is ideal" or "thin is healthy" concept made you question your identity? In such a situation, do you feel that there is nothing external that can validate your identity as an FA?
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35529
Now, Fachad brought up some interesting queries about things he was struggling with, but one post by FA Man Stan in particular shone a harsh light on something that I really haven't seen discussed too much - the question of guilt in being an FA. To quote Stan:
To clarify: I am an FA, I am proud of this, and I love my partner very much, and would love her just as much if she was not a stunningly gorgeous BBW. But I wonder how many FA's, those of us who are FA's because we love every aspect of extra weight on a woman or man and not because we are fetishizing them, have struggled with guilt over their problems.
I am a firm believer that being an FA is no different than any other preference, be it for blondes, brunettes, tall, short, black, white, etc. Yes, it is fetishized for some, but for most of us it feels exactly like any preference. But with one small caveat: forgetting everything that pop culture, media, family, and friends drills into our minds about fat not being right, weight still has many obstacles in the world, chief among them being the issue of health. Subsequent to that, though, is that for a great many overweight people, regardless of the support and love and devotion they may receive, most still hate their fat and wish it to hell in a handbasket.
So how do you react when your partner tells you that they hate their fat - compeltely and utterly hate it? Those who truly love their partners would of course stand by them and help in any way that they could, but on a personal level, as an FA or FFA, would you feel betrayed or alone on some level that might lead you to feel guilty or "wrong" for liking what it is that you happen to love and lust after? Do you know or think that you might look inward and ask "is there something wrong with my preference?" or that you might feel as if there is a sudden loss of connection between you and your partner? We all crave the idea of having a true love, a partner in crime, but if you are with a BBW or BHM and they truly want to lose their weight no matter what or how you feel about it and try to make them feel about it, do you feel as if your preference is meant to be maligned against on some level?
This is about the identity of an FA / FFA. Has your partners feelings and desires to be part of the "thin is ideal" or "thin is healthy" concept made you question your identity? In such a situation, do you feel that there is nothing external that can validate your identity as an FA?
