Sad, ain't it, when the only place you have to whine is a board where no one knows you but at least it's mutual.
[angst]
I don't get it. I think there's sommat wrong with me. First day of-- waitaminit, let me go back a bit.
Three quarters of school ago, AKA last fall, I started a school program at one of the (several) local colleges. I'm not exactly a happy-go-hyper bubbly sunshiny person, but I've done a fairly good job at keeping my dark side tucked away until it was appropriate- and I've even kept most of my weird things to myself. Yeah, I'm one of those people that can say some WEIRD stuff.
Gave my phone number out to EVERYONE in that class last q before we all left for the summer.
Zero phone calls, all summer.
This q starts. Same folk. (Of course; same program.) Somehow, ten people managed to sit at least three chairs away from me, and that seating area is NOT large. A class of eleven leaves nine empty seats, see. And only the new guy who didn't know me was three seats away.
And I just don't get it. I don't smell funny, I bathe regularly, I'm not loud and annoying.... rather the opposite, these days, I find myself just watching and listening. And either nothing to say, or nothing worth saying. Occasionally, I've got somehting I wish I could say, but I know no one'll listen. Fortunately for me, I suppose, I quit trying to be funny before I started class last fall; no one understood my sense of humor before, and from what I've seen in three quarters, no one will now.
But no lunch invites, no "hey let's go to fast cart", nothing. I invite them, and they've got plans. I offer to take care of the reservation fee to get the whole class out to fast cart, and no one has the time. I offer to bestow ink at less than average shop costs, and all these people who five minutes ago were talking about getting a new tat are suddenly busy, broke, or whatever BS is all the rage that day.
I can't even talk to car guys about their own damn car, and guess what we all go to school for: AUTOMOTIVE TECH, or, HOW TO BE A MECHANIC. We all know how those conversations go.
"Hey man, what year's your *model name here*??" Or "Dude, sweet ***, I had one of those in ***- what you got under the hood??" And et cetera, and so on. For some reason, I just get an answer to the question I asked, and no bragging, no boasting, no showing off, jsut answered and ignored.
So yeah. What's wrong with me? Any ideas? Any suggestions that probably have nothing to do with anything but couldn't hurt?
And.... no.... I don't want EVERYONE to like me, I don't need to have fifty friends. I just want to be... tolerable, and at least not... ignored, when I'm in the middle of talking to someone and they find someone else to talk to midword without any other signs of wishing to discontinue the conversation.
Even the guys I want to flirt with do it. It's why I stopped trying to flirt, for the most part. Can't help myself sometimes. Wish I could help myself, it just hurts to get dropped that abruptly any more.
I just hurt. *sigh* And of course, just about everyone on my yim contact list ignores me. What... the hell... is wrong with me....
This is pathetic, isn't it....
[/angst]
[angst]
I don't get it. I think there's sommat wrong with me. First day of-- waitaminit, let me go back a bit.
Three quarters of school ago, AKA last fall, I started a school program at one of the (several) local colleges. I'm not exactly a happy-go-hyper bubbly sunshiny person, but I've done a fairly good job at keeping my dark side tucked away until it was appropriate- and I've even kept most of my weird things to myself. Yeah, I'm one of those people that can say some WEIRD stuff.
Gave my phone number out to EVERYONE in that class last q before we all left for the summer.
Zero phone calls, all summer.
This q starts. Same folk. (Of course; same program.) Somehow, ten people managed to sit at least three chairs away from me, and that seating area is NOT large. A class of eleven leaves nine empty seats, see. And only the new guy who didn't know me was three seats away.
And I just don't get it. I don't smell funny, I bathe regularly, I'm not loud and annoying.... rather the opposite, these days, I find myself just watching and listening. And either nothing to say, or nothing worth saying. Occasionally, I've got somehting I wish I could say, but I know no one'll listen. Fortunately for me, I suppose, I quit trying to be funny before I started class last fall; no one understood my sense of humor before, and from what I've seen in three quarters, no one will now.
But no lunch invites, no "hey let's go to fast cart", nothing. I invite them, and they've got plans. I offer to take care of the reservation fee to get the whole class out to fast cart, and no one has the time. I offer to bestow ink at less than average shop costs, and all these people who five minutes ago were talking about getting a new tat are suddenly busy, broke, or whatever BS is all the rage that day.
I can't even talk to car guys about their own damn car, and guess what we all go to school for: AUTOMOTIVE TECH, or, HOW TO BE A MECHANIC. We all know how those conversations go.
"Hey man, what year's your *model name here*??" Or "Dude, sweet ***, I had one of those in ***- what you got under the hood??" And et cetera, and so on. For some reason, I just get an answer to the question I asked, and no bragging, no boasting, no showing off, jsut answered and ignored.
So yeah. What's wrong with me? Any ideas? Any suggestions that probably have nothing to do with anything but couldn't hurt?
And.... no.... I don't want EVERYONE to like me, I don't need to have fifty friends. I just want to be... tolerable, and at least not... ignored, when I'm in the middle of talking to someone and they find someone else to talk to midword without any other signs of wishing to discontinue the conversation.
Even the guys I want to flirt with do it. It's why I stopped trying to flirt, for the most part. Can't help myself sometimes. Wish I could help myself, it just hurts to get dropped that abruptly any more.
I just hurt. *sigh* And of course, just about everyone on my yim contact list ignores me. What... the hell... is wrong with me....
This is pathetic, isn't it....
[/angst]
