love handles
Well-Known Member
I know there is a lot of controversy around the idea of people being 'secret feeders' in relationships and I can see why. My question is:
Is being a secret gainer in a relationship such a bad thing?
I wanted to know what people thought because while I am not ashamed of the fact I am into gaining it's really only a turn on for me if other people don't know it's intentional.
I sort of don't like the idea of being in a relationship and lying about things. I have been open about most of my fantasies with all of my partners. When I tell them that though it stops becoming a turn on for me. Recently I have gained weight both in and out of relationships but it hasn't been intentional. *I do wonder if maybe my internal fantasies are escaping! :happy: *
Another problem is that it would only really be a turn on for me if the other person enjoyed it. So unless I randomly found an FA/feeder I am screwed. (Not in the good way!
)
I did once intentionally gain when I was younger and my partner thought I had an eating disorder because I would eat loads of cake and sweets late at night. So that wasn't that good. Though even though I was a lot thinner then than I am now them noticing I was gaining weight was a turn on. With partners who know about my fantasies them noticing my weight gain feels more embarrassing than hot. I'm not sure why.
The downside I can see is that a partner might not want you to get fatter and also you are sort of keeping a big part of yourself from them. In saying that I don't think it's as bad as being a secret feeder because it is your own body you are changing.
I am conflicted so I'm pretty sure most of this will stay a fantasy and I will probably gain anyway because I love to eat. Though not to intentionally gain. :eat1:
Hmm.. Does anyone have any thoughts?
Is being a secret gainer in a relationship such a bad thing?
I wanted to know what people thought because while I am not ashamed of the fact I am into gaining it's really only a turn on for me if other people don't know it's intentional.
I sort of don't like the idea of being in a relationship and lying about things. I have been open about most of my fantasies with all of my partners. When I tell them that though it stops becoming a turn on for me. Recently I have gained weight both in and out of relationships but it hasn't been intentional. *I do wonder if maybe my internal fantasies are escaping! :happy: *
Another problem is that it would only really be a turn on for me if the other person enjoyed it. So unless I randomly found an FA/feeder I am screwed. (Not in the good way!
)I did once intentionally gain when I was younger and my partner thought I had an eating disorder because I would eat loads of cake and sweets late at night. So that wasn't that good. Though even though I was a lot thinner then than I am now them noticing I was gaining weight was a turn on. With partners who know about my fantasies them noticing my weight gain feels more embarrassing than hot. I'm not sure why.
The downside I can see is that a partner might not want you to get fatter and also you are sort of keeping a big part of yourself from them. In saying that I don't think it's as bad as being a secret feeder because it is your own body you are changing.
I am conflicted so I'm pretty sure most of this will stay a fantasy and I will probably gain anyway because I love to eat. Though not to intentionally gain. :eat1:
Hmm.. Does anyone have any thoughts?
