MasterShake
My Fist, Your Face!
Anyone ever feel like they're on the verge of going nuts?
I feel completely stuck at my job, yet also ungrateful considering the economy and how much worse I could have it.
I want to get my PhD in English, pref in California or the Pacific Northwest, but I know how tougher it gets every year to get a decent teaching job in the humanities.
Best friend is going to Europe for a year, and will likely not return to KC. So I'm bummed about that, envious about his Europe trip (I wish I could find a job in Europe), and probably envious that he has the confidence and/or 'f- it' attitude to quit a job, go back to school for the degree he wants, and is taking all sorts of opportunities with it.
And of course the universal cliched BHM lament - why can't there be a single FFA where I live?
(I half keed, but at times it gets frustrating that I never wake up one day check Dims and find out a new member's from KC instead of everywhere else in the f'ing world).
So I feel like taking a vacation, only problem being that being in KC means pretty much anything outside of the midwest is too far to drive to make it feasible, and I can't really afford plane tickets.
I guess I originally was thinking I'd ask you all for vacation tips, but really I guess I'm just ranting. Anyone else feel a bit bored or burnt up or however you want to phrase it, just frustrated? I know it's easy being the cliched internet whiner, Lord knows I'm doing it right now, but no one else around here seems to take my feelings about this seriously (that probably sounds stronger than I intend - I just don't feel like they understand the incredible ennui I have about KC/the midwest and just how much I want out of here).
And, again, I realize how much worse it could be. If I was let go/fired tomorrow I'd be devastated and whimper about how much I took this job for granted, but at the same time I feel like I'm wasting my life in a field/career that just doesn't interest me.
Sorry for the rambling. Maybe just typing it out like this will help release some of the pressure. I just feel like I'm going to go nuts because I feel pulled in like a million different ways, yet every single pressure point I feel like is just me whining, esp the job/college and lack of a girlfriend issues, and honestly I'm aware that it's just self-involved pity wallowing on my part, which just adds to it.
I guess I just can't figure out how to vent this tension, let alone solve it. Bleh.
I feel completely stuck at my job, yet also ungrateful considering the economy and how much worse I could have it.
I want to get my PhD in English, pref in California or the Pacific Northwest, but I know how tougher it gets every year to get a decent teaching job in the humanities.
Best friend is going to Europe for a year, and will likely not return to KC. So I'm bummed about that, envious about his Europe trip (I wish I could find a job in Europe), and probably envious that he has the confidence and/or 'f- it' attitude to quit a job, go back to school for the degree he wants, and is taking all sorts of opportunities with it.
And of course the universal cliched BHM lament - why can't there be a single FFA where I live?
(I half keed, but at times it gets frustrating that I never wake up one day check Dims and find out a new member's from KC instead of everywhere else in the f'ing world).So I feel like taking a vacation, only problem being that being in KC means pretty much anything outside of the midwest is too far to drive to make it feasible, and I can't really afford plane tickets.
I guess I originally was thinking I'd ask you all for vacation tips, but really I guess I'm just ranting. Anyone else feel a bit bored or burnt up or however you want to phrase it, just frustrated? I know it's easy being the cliched internet whiner, Lord knows I'm doing it right now, but no one else around here seems to take my feelings about this seriously (that probably sounds stronger than I intend - I just don't feel like they understand the incredible ennui I have about KC/the midwest and just how much I want out of here).
And, again, I realize how much worse it could be. If I was let go/fired tomorrow I'd be devastated and whimper about how much I took this job for granted, but at the same time I feel like I'm wasting my life in a field/career that just doesn't interest me.
Sorry for the rambling. Maybe just typing it out like this will help release some of the pressure. I just feel like I'm going to go nuts because I feel pulled in like a million different ways, yet every single pressure point I feel like is just me whining, esp the job/college and lack of a girlfriend issues, and honestly I'm aware that it's just self-involved pity wallowing on my part, which just adds to it.
I guess I just can't figure out how to vent this tension, let alone solve it. Bleh.
