klosterblocked
Active Member
The story starts like many of the topics that I've seen before. There's this girl I went out with, and as I'm sure you've heard a million times before, she thinks she's too fat. She'll be 22 on the 26th, and is a size 20.
She's been heavy most of her life, though she has lost 60 pounds, she's still big by most (normal) peoples standards. I want to clarify right now that I don't just see her as an object, and I can respect and understand her feelings in the matter. This seems to be a common fallacy in a lot of peoples stories like this, and I seek to avoid it. She's always been big, or at least chunky, and she's always dated FAs. Thing is, she doesn't enjoy her fat herself. She likes the idea of curves, but sees fat itself as gross, etc...but here's the thing:
Having been part of the FA community for several years, I've read countless stories of people who's wifes/girlfriends initially disliked their fat and ended up growing to like it for some reason or another. Knowing that she's dated FAs for several years now, I assumed that it wasn't likely in her case.
But then out of curiosity I asked it anyway. I asked if she'd ever tried thinking about it the other way, looking at it with a different attitude. Interestingly enough, the idea had never occurred to her, and she remarked that she wouldn't know where to start. She said (her words) that she feels like society has told her that this is attractive, and she feels like she has to conform to it. I think one of the things that really made her think about this was my remarking that while she could feel attractive while thinner, that it still may be possible for her to feel attractive about herself now. The big problem is this little voice in her head that says "no it's not" when someone says something like a belly is attractive.
That said, she still was open to the idea of developing a way to feel better about herself in that way if its possible. Let me say right now (and I told her this as well) that I know that it may be impossible for her to change in that way. Some people are simply hard-wired and there isn't much you can do about it. That said, it had never even occurred to her to try and think about her weight in a different way, so that leaves open the possibility that she may be able to feel better about herself in that way, and is willing to explore this road.
One hypothesis I have is to attempt to associate it with something that she likes. (in her case, being spoiled) I had done a similar thing as a teenager. Originally, I was solely a maiesiophiliac, but I also had a thing for weight gain. After spending a lot of time reading about fat-related weight gain, I found myself slowly becoming more attracted to fat as well. Unfortunately, I've only managed to do this once, and that was to myself, and a different gender than what I'm dealing with in this case.
That said, this is new territory for me. I ask you, Dimensions weight board, what happened in your case? To those who had or have a significant other that was fat for a long period of time, did not enjoy it, then came to enjoy it (or at least no longer felt it made them unattractive), I ask you what happened? What were her feelings? What was her emotional reasoning? What changed?
She's been heavy most of her life, though she has lost 60 pounds, she's still big by most (normal) peoples standards. I want to clarify right now that I don't just see her as an object, and I can respect and understand her feelings in the matter. This seems to be a common fallacy in a lot of peoples stories like this, and I seek to avoid it. She's always been big, or at least chunky, and she's always dated FAs. Thing is, she doesn't enjoy her fat herself. She likes the idea of curves, but sees fat itself as gross, etc...but here's the thing:
Having been part of the FA community for several years, I've read countless stories of people who's wifes/girlfriends initially disliked their fat and ended up growing to like it for some reason or another. Knowing that she's dated FAs for several years now, I assumed that it wasn't likely in her case.
But then out of curiosity I asked it anyway. I asked if she'd ever tried thinking about it the other way, looking at it with a different attitude. Interestingly enough, the idea had never occurred to her, and she remarked that she wouldn't know where to start. She said (her words) that she feels like society has told her that this is attractive, and she feels like she has to conform to it. I think one of the things that really made her think about this was my remarking that while she could feel attractive while thinner, that it still may be possible for her to feel attractive about herself now. The big problem is this little voice in her head that says "no it's not" when someone says something like a belly is attractive.
That said, she still was open to the idea of developing a way to feel better about herself in that way if its possible. Let me say right now (and I told her this as well) that I know that it may be impossible for her to change in that way. Some people are simply hard-wired and there isn't much you can do about it. That said, it had never even occurred to her to try and think about her weight in a different way, so that leaves open the possibility that she may be able to feel better about herself in that way, and is willing to explore this road.
One hypothesis I have is to attempt to associate it with something that she likes. (in her case, being spoiled) I had done a similar thing as a teenager. Originally, I was solely a maiesiophiliac, but I also had a thing for weight gain. After spending a lot of time reading about fat-related weight gain, I found myself slowly becoming more attracted to fat as well. Unfortunately, I've only managed to do this once, and that was to myself, and a different gender than what I'm dealing with in this case.
That said, this is new territory for me. I ask you, Dimensions weight board, what happened in your case? To those who had or have a significant other that was fat for a long period of time, did not enjoy it, then came to enjoy it (or at least no longer felt it made them unattractive), I ask you what happened? What were her feelings? What was her emotional reasoning? What changed?
