I am rather new to the site so forgive me if this seems more like a rant than anything else but I have had some things on my mind lately and I figure this is as good a place as any to put it out there and see if I am truly alone in this world or if there are some who think somewhat like I do.
I am 26 years old and have been big a majority of my life. I do not claim to be anything other than what I am, meaning I do not parade myself around as if I was some 150 pound stud. I am a big man and there is really no way around it, but being this size does not define who I am as a person and it seems more and more that the people around me keep trying to make it define me. Dating in my area is just a joke to be honest and I attribute most of it to the fact that: A. I am not a party guy, I am not on the prowl for the best clubs/bars or other places like that. I grew out of that phase in my late teens and early 20s. B. I live a very simple life. I do not want drama, I live in a somewhat small area and all the things I need are relatively close to me so I really do not require much. C. I am focusing on my education right now and its what is most important to my future and for some reason because I am a single man and not working that somehow means that I am not worth anything because I choose to go to school rather than bust my ass for minimum wage pay. D. Probably the number one reason I am overlooked is because of my size and no matter how many people try to sugar coat it or say its because of something else I know for fact its bullshit. Part of me does want to be healthier. I want to be able to be more active and outside in my day to day life, but that is because I miss doing the things I used to when I was younger. Not because I am trolling for a piece of ass. I have posted numerous times on here in the sad sections and I don't want to seem like a downer but living as I do really puts me in a funk that I can't seem to get out of.
I fake smiles and humor so the few people I do see won't know that pieces of me are dying inside. I don't really know what to do though. Like I want to be accepted for who I am. I am tired of being judged by physical things that really have no bearing on the person I am. My weight is indefinitely a part of who I am there is no denying it. But it does not make me who I am, its just a small piece of the total being. Maybe I am just looking for something that isn't there or I am setting myself up for disappointment time and time again. I don't what else to do. I feel lost inside myself. This is one of the few places where at least I know I won't totally be judged by my size. Anyways, enough of my sad rambling on. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Hell even just taking the time to read this means something.
Thanks.....
-Jay
I am 26 years old and have been big a majority of my life. I do not claim to be anything other than what I am, meaning I do not parade myself around as if I was some 150 pound stud. I am a big man and there is really no way around it, but being this size does not define who I am as a person and it seems more and more that the people around me keep trying to make it define me. Dating in my area is just a joke to be honest and I attribute most of it to the fact that: A. I am not a party guy, I am not on the prowl for the best clubs/bars or other places like that. I grew out of that phase in my late teens and early 20s. B. I live a very simple life. I do not want drama, I live in a somewhat small area and all the things I need are relatively close to me so I really do not require much. C. I am focusing on my education right now and its what is most important to my future and for some reason because I am a single man and not working that somehow means that I am not worth anything because I choose to go to school rather than bust my ass for minimum wage pay. D. Probably the number one reason I am overlooked is because of my size and no matter how many people try to sugar coat it or say its because of something else I know for fact its bullshit. Part of me does want to be healthier. I want to be able to be more active and outside in my day to day life, but that is because I miss doing the things I used to when I was younger. Not because I am trolling for a piece of ass. I have posted numerous times on here in the sad sections and I don't want to seem like a downer but living as I do really puts me in a funk that I can't seem to get out of.
I fake smiles and humor so the few people I do see won't know that pieces of me are dying inside. I don't really know what to do though. Like I want to be accepted for who I am. I am tired of being judged by physical things that really have no bearing on the person I am. My weight is indefinitely a part of who I am there is no denying it. But it does not make me who I am, its just a small piece of the total being. Maybe I am just looking for something that isn't there or I am setting myself up for disappointment time and time again. I don't what else to do. I feel lost inside myself. This is one of the few places where at least I know I won't totally be judged by my size. Anyways, enough of my sad rambling on. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Hell even just taking the time to read this means something.
Thanks.....
-Jay
