moore2me
Lions don't need to spank
It has taken me a while to put my thoughts in writing on what has happened over the last month, but this problem is still here and I cannot fix it. My two brothers and I sent mom into the hospital for a serious stomach surgery about 5 weeks ago. She has been confined there the whole time and almost died. But then she pulled thru and got well enough to be discharged - they recommended a nursing home, but we brought her home instead. But the woman we brought home is not my mom. It is a shell of an old woman who no longer has the spark in her eyes, nor the quick wit, nor the lethal but precise tongue of 80 + years that mom had.
The first time this switch in personalities hit me like a blow from a splitting maul was when I walked into her house and she was parked in a wheelchair in front of her picture window watching birds in her yard. She now watches birds catch worms but cannot carry on a conversation on a phone, cannot pay attention to a TV show, cannot dress herself or use hardly any of the conveniences of home, eats a couple of tablespoons each meal, needs assistance doing almost everything, probably doesn't know the date or time, or when her birthday or mine is. Today, she asked the same question to anyone who came into the room over and over again all day long.
We dare not leave her alone. We have hired sitter to be with her 24 hours. We are dependent on the kindness of strangers (which is being paid for out of her savings). The doctors who "saved" her life by performing the surgery, sent her home with a witch's brew of prescriptions. I counted 8 or 9 different drugs. (She was taking only one med when she went in for the surgery.)
I do not know what went wrong - maybe her mind just wore out. Or maybe it is just resting and will come back? Her sister died from Alzheimers at this same age so that is another shoe that may drop soon. Or the anesthetic during surgery may have shorted some wires out in her head. We all hope her mind will heal, but the odds are against it. When you are 87, you do not spring back from health problems very well.
So, in the meantime, I will keep talking to the stranger sitting in her house, but I know it is an imposter. Mother's Day, which is coming up soon . . . .we will just go thru the motions and be kind to the stranger sitting in mom's house. She looks kind of sad and lost.
The first time this switch in personalities hit me like a blow from a splitting maul was when I walked into her house and she was parked in a wheelchair in front of her picture window watching birds in her yard. She now watches birds catch worms but cannot carry on a conversation on a phone, cannot pay attention to a TV show, cannot dress herself or use hardly any of the conveniences of home, eats a couple of tablespoons each meal, needs assistance doing almost everything, probably doesn't know the date or time, or when her birthday or mine is. Today, she asked the same question to anyone who came into the room over and over again all day long.
We dare not leave her alone. We have hired sitter to be with her 24 hours. We are dependent on the kindness of strangers (which is being paid for out of her savings). The doctors who "saved" her life by performing the surgery, sent her home with a witch's brew of prescriptions. I counted 8 or 9 different drugs. (She was taking only one med when she went in for the surgery.)
I do not know what went wrong - maybe her mind just wore out. Or maybe it is just resting and will come back? Her sister died from Alzheimers at this same age so that is another shoe that may drop soon. Or the anesthetic during surgery may have shorted some wires out in her head. We all hope her mind will heal, but the odds are against it. When you are 87, you do not spring back from health problems very well.
So, in the meantime, I will keep talking to the stranger sitting in her house, but I know it is an imposter. Mother's Day, which is coming up soon . . . .we will just go thru the motions and be kind to the stranger sitting in mom's house. She looks kind of sad and lost.
