SparklingBBW
What's new pussycat?
In response to Stan's very insightful and though-provoking thread on FAs, something occurred to me, and in the interest of not trying to highjack that great thread, I thought I'd start a new one.
When I first became aware of Dimensions and FAs way back in the late 80s, men preferring fat women was a totally new concept to me. It challenged the basic tennent that I held about myself: that I was un-sexy, undesirable, and un-loveable as a fat woman. I had to totally rethink my identity in order to achieve my basic belief in myself that fat is just as sexy and beautiful and desirable as thin. As a means of trying to switch my personal thought processes and really embrace this idea, I began to look at images of fat women and SEE the beauty and sexyness in them so that I could SEE it and BELIEVE it about myself. I knew that to an FA it wasn't enough to just to BE beautiful/sexy in their eyes, but to also hold as a core belief that people of all shapes and sizes are sexy and beautiful.
With every issue of Dimensions, I would eagerly devour all the picture lay outs of the women, visually dissecting them and pointedly questioning my responses to them. At first I was quite put off by the pics (be kind to me here, I was very young -24 or so- and very much new to the ideal that fat can be beautiful), upon first glance, but then I kept looking at them and kept questioning why I believed a fat woman really shouldn't wear lingerie or a swimsuit let alone have her picture taken in it and put in a magazine. But with these pictures also came the articles written by the FAs, the weight-gain stories and Fat fiction, and the commentaries on life as a fat person, and the light began to dawn for me. These women were not just acceptable as fat women, they were downright abso-fuc*in-lutely beautiful and sexy in their fecundity. Their skin glowed, their fleshiness was mesmerizing, their smiles and round faces were captivating...and this, my friends, was how I began to be able to see these things about myself.
Along those same lines, I came to have a better knowledge of what it meant to be an FA. I had previously only found thinner more muscular men attractive, but when opening up my eyes to female fat sexiness, I also found myself being attracted to bigger men and finding that for myself, size wasn't so much of a determining factor in how attractive I found a potential lover and in fact, I have had lovers of all different shapes and sizes.
Now moving ahead from the late 80s to the mid 90s when I met a man who was about 180 lbs at 5'2, and we began a relationship which turned into a long-term relationship of about 5 years. He never claimed to be an FA but he did seem to desire me and my body and even said that the most beautiful woman he had ever seen was someone who was well over 400 lbs (I was about 350 at the time). Over the course of the first two years, he began to put on a lot of weight. And the more weight he put on, the less sexy he felt and the more he pushed me away from him, not getting naked in front of me, not initiating sex and specifically denying my (repeated ,grin) advances (and I made it clear to him that his extra weight was NOT an issue for me, I still found him very desireable and sexy and I loved him too, sex was an expression of that). Eventually his pushing me away and the no sexual intimacy in our relationship (plus a few other issues) ended up ending our relationship.
So to make a long post short (I know, too late)...I wonder how many FAs have really put themselves into the positions/feelings that BBWs and SSBBWs find themselves in when it comes to living in fat bodies. Have you ever gained a lot of weight? If you did, how did it make you feel about your own sexuality/sexual desirability. Have you had to live with the opinions of others about your body size/healthiness/and the pressure to lose weight? Would you ever consider wearing a hollywood-like fat suit and go out into the world as a fat person or a super-size person? How would you feel if you knew your partner was only sexual with you out of love and not out of actual lustful desire? Maybe I'm belaboring a point that has been made on many another thread, but really, in your heart of hearts, can you say you truly empathise with what your fat spouses/girlfriends/lovers can go through on a day-to-day basis carrying around an extra 50, 100 or 200 pounds?
I know I did a lot of soul searching to find my inner fat diva...have you done the same kind of soul-searching to find your inner fat, low-self-esteemed, societally-pressured-to-be-thin, sore-footed, back-pained, tired, forced-to-wear scratchy polyestered, gym-fearing (because of the hairy eyeball looks), publically criticized, media-villified, family-judged fat woman?
Please, no flaming, just a point to ponder.
Gena
When I first became aware of Dimensions and FAs way back in the late 80s, men preferring fat women was a totally new concept to me. It challenged the basic tennent that I held about myself: that I was un-sexy, undesirable, and un-loveable as a fat woman. I had to totally rethink my identity in order to achieve my basic belief in myself that fat is just as sexy and beautiful and desirable as thin. As a means of trying to switch my personal thought processes and really embrace this idea, I began to look at images of fat women and SEE the beauty and sexyness in them so that I could SEE it and BELIEVE it about myself. I knew that to an FA it wasn't enough to just to BE beautiful/sexy in their eyes, but to also hold as a core belief that people of all shapes and sizes are sexy and beautiful.
With every issue of Dimensions, I would eagerly devour all the picture lay outs of the women, visually dissecting them and pointedly questioning my responses to them. At first I was quite put off by the pics (be kind to me here, I was very young -24 or so- and very much new to the ideal that fat can be beautiful), upon first glance, but then I kept looking at them and kept questioning why I believed a fat woman really shouldn't wear lingerie or a swimsuit let alone have her picture taken in it and put in a magazine. But with these pictures also came the articles written by the FAs, the weight-gain stories and Fat fiction, and the commentaries on life as a fat person, and the light began to dawn for me. These women were not just acceptable as fat women, they were downright abso-fuc*in-lutely beautiful and sexy in their fecundity. Their skin glowed, their fleshiness was mesmerizing, their smiles and round faces were captivating...and this, my friends, was how I began to be able to see these things about myself.
Along those same lines, I came to have a better knowledge of what it meant to be an FA. I had previously only found thinner more muscular men attractive, but when opening up my eyes to female fat sexiness, I also found myself being attracted to bigger men and finding that for myself, size wasn't so much of a determining factor in how attractive I found a potential lover and in fact, I have had lovers of all different shapes and sizes.
Now moving ahead from the late 80s to the mid 90s when I met a man who was about 180 lbs at 5'2, and we began a relationship which turned into a long-term relationship of about 5 years. He never claimed to be an FA but he did seem to desire me and my body and even said that the most beautiful woman he had ever seen was someone who was well over 400 lbs (I was about 350 at the time). Over the course of the first two years, he began to put on a lot of weight. And the more weight he put on, the less sexy he felt and the more he pushed me away from him, not getting naked in front of me, not initiating sex and specifically denying my (repeated ,grin) advances (and I made it clear to him that his extra weight was NOT an issue for me, I still found him very desireable and sexy and I loved him too, sex was an expression of that). Eventually his pushing me away and the no sexual intimacy in our relationship (plus a few other issues) ended up ending our relationship.
So to make a long post short (I know, too late)...I wonder how many FAs have really put themselves into the positions/feelings that BBWs and SSBBWs find themselves in when it comes to living in fat bodies. Have you ever gained a lot of weight? If you did, how did it make you feel about your own sexuality/sexual desirability. Have you had to live with the opinions of others about your body size/healthiness/and the pressure to lose weight? Would you ever consider wearing a hollywood-like fat suit and go out into the world as a fat person or a super-size person? How would you feel if you knew your partner was only sexual with you out of love and not out of actual lustful desire? Maybe I'm belaboring a point that has been made on many another thread, but really, in your heart of hearts, can you say you truly empathise with what your fat spouses/girlfriends/lovers can go through on a day-to-day basis carrying around an extra 50, 100 or 200 pounds?
I know I did a lot of soul searching to find my inner fat diva...have you done the same kind of soul-searching to find your inner fat, low-self-esteemed, societally-pressured-to-be-thin, sore-footed, back-pained, tired, forced-to-wear scratchy polyestered, gym-fearing (because of the hairy eyeball looks), publically criticized, media-villified, family-judged fat woman?
Please, no flaming, just a point to ponder.
Gena
