I have fallen in love, deeply and madly, with an amazing and beautiful woman. It's life-changing and wonderful and she completely rocks my world. This is not just attraction - this is connection with someone on a whole new level. She's a plus-sized gal (of course), and as a life-long out of the closet FA, I've only ever dated larger or supersized women. She's not really even what I would call fat, just a little on the heavy side. However, this time I've met someone who wasn't always the size she is now, used to be much smaller, and felt much better before she gained weight only recently, and would really like to be thin again. The fact that I like her extra curves makes it more difficult for her, but she has still decided she needs to lose weight.
I just wanted the world to know that I completely support her.
She's incredibly beautiful, and deep down I know that she will always be beautiful to me. What makes her beautiful is not just her body - it's her happiness, the way she glows, her radiant smile and having a good life. If what she needs is to lose weight to be healthy and happy, then it is my job to support her in that.
Of course I'm terrified. What if I'm not attracted to her anymore? In reality, my sexuality is messed up anyway. I've spent the better part of ten years indulging in feeder fantasies and extreme obesity stories on the internet. Frickin internet. All these fantasies I love to entertain but know I would never want the reality of. So if my wildest fantasies are that eff'ed up anyway, why should I even care what she looks like to begin with? Because when I look at her, I just know deep down, that she's the woman for me.
Besides, knowing who she is and what we have together means so much more to me than sexual attraction. I used to be so obsessed with it - and believe me, you can get really carried away - and now, with something so magical happening, it just seems so much less important to me than just realizing the value of being with the right person. She will always be beautiful to me, at any size, because of the beautiful person she is. A relationship hinged fundamentally on someone's body being a particular way is not going to last; and I really want this to last a long, long time.
Some of you might say that I'm not being honest with myself. That if I truly like larger women, I should be with one and not go back in the closet, so to speak. Well, all things being equal, you might be right. But this woman of mine is one of a kind, and she only comes in the size she comes in. For something this amazing, I think its worth a little blind faith. Besides, I think she will always be curvy at any size, and to be honest I'm not that worried about it.
Some of you might say that she should accept herself for the big beautiful woman she has become. I suppose, that having lived life as a thin person makes even more painful and intense the insane contrast between how the world treats fat and thin people. Also, what do you or even I know about what is best for her? The message of size acceptance is that we should not be judged for our bodies being a certain size, or for wanting it to be otherwise. Knowing my personal bias, it's probably better if I just stayed out of her business in that regard.
I never asked to be an FA. I didn't choose it. Nor do I resent it - I will always have an eye for the extra-curvy female form, there's no doubt in my mind. It's a permanent program in my mind. That fact however doesn't define me or describe who or what I am, what I believe, or what kind of relationship I should be in. It's just my sexuality. I believe can accept it for what it is, and still have an amazing, life with a beautiful, curvy but thin woman.
Am I crazy? If she still has basically wider hips and is generally soft and womanly, that should be fine, right? Right? Yeah. That would totally work.
I just wanted the world to know that I completely support her.
She's incredibly beautiful, and deep down I know that she will always be beautiful to me. What makes her beautiful is not just her body - it's her happiness, the way she glows, her radiant smile and having a good life. If what she needs is to lose weight to be healthy and happy, then it is my job to support her in that.
Of course I'm terrified. What if I'm not attracted to her anymore? In reality, my sexuality is messed up anyway. I've spent the better part of ten years indulging in feeder fantasies and extreme obesity stories on the internet. Frickin internet. All these fantasies I love to entertain but know I would never want the reality of. So if my wildest fantasies are that eff'ed up anyway, why should I even care what she looks like to begin with? Because when I look at her, I just know deep down, that she's the woman for me.
Besides, knowing who she is and what we have together means so much more to me than sexual attraction. I used to be so obsessed with it - and believe me, you can get really carried away - and now, with something so magical happening, it just seems so much less important to me than just realizing the value of being with the right person. She will always be beautiful to me, at any size, because of the beautiful person she is. A relationship hinged fundamentally on someone's body being a particular way is not going to last; and I really want this to last a long, long time.
Some of you might say that I'm not being honest with myself. That if I truly like larger women, I should be with one and not go back in the closet, so to speak. Well, all things being equal, you might be right. But this woman of mine is one of a kind, and she only comes in the size she comes in. For something this amazing, I think its worth a little blind faith. Besides, I think she will always be curvy at any size, and to be honest I'm not that worried about it.
Some of you might say that she should accept herself for the big beautiful woman she has become. I suppose, that having lived life as a thin person makes even more painful and intense the insane contrast between how the world treats fat and thin people. Also, what do you or even I know about what is best for her? The message of size acceptance is that we should not be judged for our bodies being a certain size, or for wanting it to be otherwise. Knowing my personal bias, it's probably better if I just stayed out of her business in that regard.
I never asked to be an FA. I didn't choose it. Nor do I resent it - I will always have an eye for the extra-curvy female form, there's no doubt in my mind. It's a permanent program in my mind. That fact however doesn't define me or describe who or what I am, what I believe, or what kind of relationship I should be in. It's just my sexuality. I believe can accept it for what it is, and still have an amazing, life with a beautiful, curvy but thin woman.
Am I crazy? If she still has basically wider hips and is generally soft and womanly, that should be fine, right? Right? Yeah. That would totally work.
