S
saucywench
I’m posting this here for a couple of reasons:
I will be 50 in a few months. My youth is behind me and the dew is off the vine, as it were. It is a mathematical certainly that the greater part of my life is over. I have but this one life that I know of.
I matured to this point in my life as everyone does, through numerous life experiences. Along that journey, and through those experiences, my vision of what I felt I needed for me to be happy and content (with regard to a life partner) became more and more focused. I never married. I came close a couple of times, but, after careful scrutiny, I declined those offers because, for various reasons, those men did not meet my requirements, and I knew it. I felt it best to move on and thus spare all parties a lot of undue grief, misery, and expense. I hope and trust that they found someone more suitable.
I found this community over six years ago. It has changed my life. I can’t imagine my life, or the person I evolved into, without it. It has impacted me profoundly and made an immeasurable difference for the good, in (almost) all aspects of my life. I have forged lifetime friendships with some people I wouldn’t have otherwise encountered, and for that I will always be grateful.
Here’s the caveat.
Aside from those friendships, and the process of building character, fat has never done me any favors. I will never stop supporting fat acceptance, because it is one of my core beliefs that we are ALL due basic civil liberties, regardless of size. We ALL have not only the right but the expectation to be treated humanely and with dignity and respect.
I want to be happy. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want a life partner. Most of you have already found that, either within the parameters of our community or in exceptions outside of our community. In my case, however, I feel that being fat further limits my already limited range of potential partners. I am pragmatic enough to believe that this will not change. I’ve been out there—for years, now. I feel my only option at this point in my life is to change something about myself that will expand my range of options and possibilities.
Being fat is hard. Anyone who is fat or who has been fat knows this. Fat people are far from weak; they have to be strong to endure the onslaught of negativity that is thrown at us daily. If you don’t have an established network of support, such as what you will find here at Dimensions, it is that much harder. But sometimes that is just not enough. I need someone in my life who will love me and support me (not in the financial sense) through the next stages of my life. I need someone to, figuratively and literally, hold my hand.
Losing weight is hard. So is being fat. If my life is going to be a struggle, why shouldn’t I struggle in a way that will bring me more close to finding that which I seek? Despite all I have learned and will continue to learn as a result of being part of this community, the thing I seem to want most has remained out of my reach. Sometimes it’s just not worth maintaining the status quo. I feel about the same now as I did 22 years ago when I elected to have WLS, which did not work for me then. I was desperate for change then, and I’m desperate for change now. I don’t know what else to do. If I set about to change myself, with the ultimate purpose of attaining a measure of happiness that I cannot seem to achieve while being fat, and doing so in a reasonable and sensible manner through sound nutrition and exercise, how can that be wrong, or objectionable?
Note: I wrote this this morning, but it carries additional weight in light of the post by Josh Max on the Main Board today.
- The relative privacy it affords. I want to express my feelings with members of my community but in a smaller setting removed both from yahoos among our registered users and any number of anonymous, un-registered users.
- I could consider discussing this with a therapist but, unless they’ve struggled with being fat themselves, they would have no idea where I’m coming from. It’s kind of like AA, where a recovering alcoholic has a fellow alcoholic for a sponsor—only someone who has been in your shoes can really be of help.
I will be 50 in a few months. My youth is behind me and the dew is off the vine, as it were. It is a mathematical certainly that the greater part of my life is over. I have but this one life that I know of.
I matured to this point in my life as everyone does, through numerous life experiences. Along that journey, and through those experiences, my vision of what I felt I needed for me to be happy and content (with regard to a life partner) became more and more focused. I never married. I came close a couple of times, but, after careful scrutiny, I declined those offers because, for various reasons, those men did not meet my requirements, and I knew it. I felt it best to move on and thus spare all parties a lot of undue grief, misery, and expense. I hope and trust that they found someone more suitable.
I found this community over six years ago. It has changed my life. I can’t imagine my life, or the person I evolved into, without it. It has impacted me profoundly and made an immeasurable difference for the good, in (almost) all aspects of my life. I have forged lifetime friendships with some people I wouldn’t have otherwise encountered, and for that I will always be grateful.
Here’s the caveat.
Aside from those friendships, and the process of building character, fat has never done me any favors. I will never stop supporting fat acceptance, because it is one of my core beliefs that we are ALL due basic civil liberties, regardless of size. We ALL have not only the right but the expectation to be treated humanely and with dignity and respect.
I want to be happy. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want a life partner. Most of you have already found that, either within the parameters of our community or in exceptions outside of our community. In my case, however, I feel that being fat further limits my already limited range of potential partners. I am pragmatic enough to believe that this will not change. I’ve been out there—for years, now. I feel my only option at this point in my life is to change something about myself that will expand my range of options and possibilities.
Being fat is hard. Anyone who is fat or who has been fat knows this. Fat people are far from weak; they have to be strong to endure the onslaught of negativity that is thrown at us daily. If you don’t have an established network of support, such as what you will find here at Dimensions, it is that much harder. But sometimes that is just not enough. I need someone in my life who will love me and support me (not in the financial sense) through the next stages of my life. I need someone to, figuratively and literally, hold my hand.
Losing weight is hard. So is being fat. If my life is going to be a struggle, why shouldn’t I struggle in a way that will bring me more close to finding that which I seek? Despite all I have learned and will continue to learn as a result of being part of this community, the thing I seem to want most has remained out of my reach. Sometimes it’s just not worth maintaining the status quo. I feel about the same now as I did 22 years ago when I elected to have WLS, which did not work for me then. I was desperate for change then, and I’m desperate for change now. I don’t know what else to do. If I set about to change myself, with the ultimate purpose of attaining a measure of happiness that I cannot seem to achieve while being fat, and doing so in a reasonable and sensible manner through sound nutrition and exercise, how can that be wrong, or objectionable?
Note: I wrote this this morning, but it carries additional weight in light of the post by Josh Max on the Main Board today.
