Well, it happened Sunday night. Jamie versus Rainyday (alphabetical, of course) in Literati. I was the witness to the event and of course, the extreeeemely necessary referee. I feel I need to tell my tale, as I may end up dead soon, probably killed by a Norwegian hitman hired by one of them (I won’t mention which one) because they didn’t win.
Rainy came dressed as Anta had suggested, in sexy jungle print, green lipstick to make you think of the rain forest, her hair in a high ponytail, and wearing strappy sandals -- very Pebbles reminiscent. She was truly beeooootiful!
Jamie was dressed in an orange, pink and yellow toga, and had those clear platform stripper shoes on with the goldfish in the heel. Really making a statement, our Jamie was, her stated theme being ‘Sunrise of Doom!’.
And just in case Anta may want to know what I was wearing – I donned my pink ballerina outfit with the lime green tutu and instead of wearing the little pink slippers that come with it, I wore my knee high rubber farm boots, since I had a feeling there’d be a lot of s#*$ to wade through that evening. Boy, did I have a vision or what?
They had to play three games. And what viscous girls these two are! As referee, I was very intimidiminated and kinda scared! Don’t be fooled, these two are smart, and while seemingly good and sweet girls on the boards, they are only hiding their aggressive and savage natures.
At one point, Rainy got so fierce, waving her head to and fro in a menacing fashion, her ponytail got caught in the light fixture and she was spinning around and around, her arms waving wildly, kicking at Jamie each time she spun in her direction, all the while, Jamie was threatening to whap Rainy with her “U” (don’t ask me what a U is, all I know is that it is sparkly and blinding).
And the language! Oh my, I cannot tell you how shocking it was. Trash talk two-thousandgillionkabillion fold. Here are some of the things heard at the Literati table during this match:
“it won’t take poo!”
“nooner!”
“if it looks like a karn, then it must be a karn!”
Somebody even said the “c” word.
Oh, the horror! I can’t tell you how stressful this whole thing was for me -- the gum snapping, the high-pitched squeals, the “take it back!!”’s, the running to get them more chocolate. The first game was won by Rainy, and I’m telling you, I thought Jamie was going to kill Rainy with her pea shooter. Brutal!
And then when Jamie won the second and third games, Rainy got so violent, I had to cover my eyes. But before she could do any damage, she started crying so badly the carpeting started getting kinda water soaked and gross. Jamie just taunted her and made her cry even more. She was crying so hard that when she tried to say something, all that would come out was “ahhyaydyayydayyayahhh”. It was really terrifying, folks.
I think this experience may have scarred me for life.
Rainy came dressed as Anta had suggested, in sexy jungle print, green lipstick to make you think of the rain forest, her hair in a high ponytail, and wearing strappy sandals -- very Pebbles reminiscent. She was truly beeooootiful!
Jamie was dressed in an orange, pink and yellow toga, and had those clear platform stripper shoes on with the goldfish in the heel. Really making a statement, our Jamie was, her stated theme being ‘Sunrise of Doom!’.
And just in case Anta may want to know what I was wearing – I donned my pink ballerina outfit with the lime green tutu and instead of wearing the little pink slippers that come with it, I wore my knee high rubber farm boots, since I had a feeling there’d be a lot of s#*$ to wade through that evening. Boy, did I have a vision or what?
They had to play three games. And what viscous girls these two are! As referee, I was very intimidiminated and kinda scared! Don’t be fooled, these two are smart, and while seemingly good and sweet girls on the boards, they are only hiding their aggressive and savage natures.
At one point, Rainy got so fierce, waving her head to and fro in a menacing fashion, her ponytail got caught in the light fixture and she was spinning around and around, her arms waving wildly, kicking at Jamie each time she spun in her direction, all the while, Jamie was threatening to whap Rainy with her “U” (don’t ask me what a U is, all I know is that it is sparkly and blinding).
And the language! Oh my, I cannot tell you how shocking it was. Trash talk two-thousandgillionkabillion fold. Here are some of the things heard at the Literati table during this match:
“it won’t take poo!”
“nooner!”
“if it looks like a karn, then it must be a karn!”
Somebody even said the “c” word.
Oh, the horror! I can’t tell you how stressful this whole thing was for me -- the gum snapping, the high-pitched squeals, the “take it back!!”’s, the running to get them more chocolate. The first game was won by Rainy, and I’m telling you, I thought Jamie was going to kill Rainy with her pea shooter. Brutal!
And then when Jamie won the second and third games, Rainy got so violent, I had to cover my eyes. But before she could do any damage, she started crying so badly the carpeting started getting kinda water soaked and gross. Jamie just taunted her and made her cry even more. She was crying so hard that when she tried to say something, all that would come out was “ahhyaydyayydayyayahhh”. It was really terrifying, folks.
I think this experience may have scarred me for life.
