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The Munchies! - by Coyote Wild (~BHM, Flatulence, Immobility, ~XWG)

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coyote wild

You'll love me, I swear.
Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
614
Location
Fatlanta
~BHM, Flatulence, Immobility, ~XWG - An extra-large version of The Munchies.

[Author's Note: I've been a fan of the Munchies since I first saw that legendary commercial by chance years ago. I never saw it on television before or since. Thanks to the Internet, I've managed to see the commercial again many-a-time. But it was so intriguing that first time I saw it during a commercial break of an episode of Ghostbusters.

Anyway, since then, it kind of stuck with me. Especially since my developing mind seemed to be especially favorable towards weight gain in all the little places I could find it.

Well, I was a huge fan of the two incarnations we've seen here (one with a BBW protagonist, the other with a BHM). So I decided to step up to the plate and offer up my own take on the mythos.

I tagged it with all the elements that will eventually appear in the tale. And since it's coming from me, there are certain things that you can pretty much guarantee you'll be seeing (or "hearing", rather).

So grab a bag of chips and settle in for the first part of my next project. Why don't you grab some little cake treats. Go ahead. It won't hurt...
]


COYOTE WILD'S THE MUNCHIES
by Coyote Wild

I had been living back at home for a couple of weeks. Things didn’t quite work out on the West Coast, and before I was going to try again, I needed to recuperate. My room upstairs was just as I had left it: king-sized bed with the headboard against the center of the far back wall, sheets nice and tucked in. My dresser was clear of clothes on the top or in the drawers and I had been living out of my luggage, not expecting to stay more than a week.

Well, weeks turned to months. I didn’t expect to be staying long, so I didn’t bother to find a new job or get involved with people. I was just going to wait it out, until I was ready to go home. Staying home all day was really beginning to take a toll on my waistline. I had practically nothing to do but eat, so eat is what I did; gaining about 25 pounds on my 180-pound frame in the process.

Luckily, my parents had already planned a vacation and were leaving town for a week. After months of trying to get used to not living alone, I was alone again. And how sweet it was.

I watched through the blinds as their red taillights faded in the night. They were gone.

I was free.

I stumbled back and onto my bed. Feeling an overwhelming sense of relaxation, I slid into a wonderful sleep, knowing that when I woke up, the house would still be mine.

My nose began to flare as an awful smell crawled up my nostrils. I sat up slowly, groggy. I glanced over at the clock, my eyes focusing in and out until my vision cleared and the digital read-out read 2:36 AM.

I had been out for a good four hours.

I rubbed my eyes and turned to the doorway of my bedroom.

“Gah!” I shouted, noticing a crowd of little, gray, blob-like people. “What the hell are you?” I asked.

“We’re the munchies!” the lead one declared in a high-pitched voice. The others around him giggled. They began to waddle toward me.

“You have the wrong room, I believe you’re looking for the shower,” I said as they began to leap onto my bed. I held my nose.

“We’ve been working on you for a while now,” the lead one declared. I mentally noted him as Doodle. “It looks like fame and fortune wasn’t yours to have!”

“Hey, go to hell, alright? I’m in a transitional phase, right now.”

They all broke out into laughter.

“We don’t come to people in ‘transitional phases.’ We only search for those who have let lethargy take them over completely!” Doodle explained. “They’re much easier to fatten up. They don’t put up much of a fight.”

“What was that about fattening up?” I asked. A couple of them were pinching little bits of chub on my stomach. Prodding me. Inspecting me.

“Why don’t we go to the kitchen? I’ll explain everything,” Doodle said, causing another uproar of laughter to leap from the others.

Squinting my eyes at him suspiciously, I answered, “Sure.”

A couple of them grabbed my hands and gave the slightest support in helping me stand. “I think I can handle it,” I said. Still, they held to my hands and we were off to the kitchen.

Two of them were pushing me from behind, their hands digging into the lower part of my back. Each step I took was an awkward one because of the crowd that was practically carrying me to the kitchen.

A few more scurried to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. The others that were assisting me led me to the chair. From seemingly nowhere, more hands were placed on my shoulder. They gave a little force and plopped me in the seat.

I watched Doodle jump on the table and walk towards me. On the table was a single glass of milk.

“This is how it works,” Doodle began. “For the past six months, we have been watching you.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Your mind was sending off signals you weren’t even aware of. We picked up on them immediately: rejection, defeat, apathy. A fine candidate!” he said. “Have a sip.”

Keeping my eyes on him, I grabbed the glass of milk and took a sip. As I slowly placed the glass back, I asked him, “A candidate for what?”

“The process!” he answered. He said it as though I should’ve already known that. After a few moments, I asked. Only this time, I was a little more forceful.

“What process?” I asked, getting frustrated.

He sighed and suddenly broke out into song:

Hey there,
you must listen up now.
We will
make you into a cow.
There’s no easy way to say it:
You’re a victim of the Munchies, now.

We are
gluttony incarnate.
We are
a fattening sham.
You may not want to hear this:
You’re a victim of the Munchies, now.

We lie and wait,
until you’re dull, bored, and blue.
Then we decide
to make a fatty outta you!

We have
telepathic powers.
And we
can tell you’re a coward!
It’s the reason you’re sitting here!
You’re a victim of the Munchies, now.

There may be no point…
(no point!)
to build you up into a pig!
(fat pig!)
But keep in mind
(small mind!)
That it’s our one and only gig!

So I
hope you got all that.
Now we
begin to make you fat.
Just get nice and comfy,
You’re a victim of the Munchies, NOW!


During the entire musical number, they were marching around the kitchen, pulling things out of the pantry and the fridge, handing me all sorts of sweets. Between drinking my milk, I had bites of Hostess and Little Debbie snacks. They even opened them for me and dumped out the plastic and paper packaging.

They were so easy to eat. They were soft and fluffy. Some were creamy. So creamy.

I didn’t even listen to the song. I didn’t understand a damn word. I was too busy eating.

Suddenly, my nose flared and I snapped out of my trance. I was beginning to smell them again. I shriveled my nose.

“You guys stink!” I said.

That caused them to erupt into giggling, yet again. As if there was some sort of irony that was just lost on me. As if they were harboring some hilarious secret that was made even funnier because I didn’t know about it.

I was beginning to become convinced that they were insane.

Finally, I reached for another treat being handed to me by one of these creatures, and found a chubby, squishy hand instead.

I turned my head to see one of them looking up at me and grinning. “You look weary! Come with us!”

He pulled and helped me to my feet. Another grabbed my other hand and I suddenly felt them rush against the back of my calves! I fell backward and onto the crowd of them, letting them carry me around.

“It’s fine! I can walk!” I protested.

Retracting their arms, they launched me forward and onto the couch. No sooner had I landed did a bag of potato chips drop onto my chest. Two of the Munchies pulled the top of the bag from opposite ends. They bared their teeth and tightened their eyes and grunted as they struggled.

Suddenly, the top of the bag popped and both Munchies went flying back in opposite directions. Chips flew up into the air and one landed on my stomach. I looked down at it, but my eyes were focused on what was beneath the chip – a gut.

I never had a gut in my life! I always kept relatively slim. But my lethargy and poor diet was starting to become noticeable. What were these things doing to me?

I watched Doodle land on my lap from some crazy leap. He walked up to the chip, picked it up and held it out with both hands. After a moment, I shrugged and took it between my thumb and index finger. I brought the chip to my mouth and opened wide. I slid the entire chip into my mouth and bit down, resulting in a satisfying crunch.

I leaned back while a Munchie positioned itself on either side of me. I would get a chip from the right side, then the left – a continuous cycle with my mouth never being without something in it.

They seemed to go at their own pace, not waiting for me to swallow. It was I that ended up having to keep pace with them, immediately biting into each chip that tickled my lips. Eventually, I bit down onto air, much to their humor. The bag was empty.

A few of them grabbed the side of the bag and tilted it upward, the corner of the bag acting as a spout to my mouth. The crumbs and bits of chips tumbled downward on the slope of the bag, bouncing into my mouth, gathering on the surface of my tongue.

They smacked the bag and shook it to get every little bit out. When I was satisfied it was empty, I began to crunch down on the bits of chips in my mouth. It was a thick ball of crumbs and seasoning.

It was delicious.

I felt cool air against the skin of my stomach and looked down. A few Munchies were pulling my shirt up, revealing my belly. It was already round, with folds of flab accumulating around my sides.

“How is that possible?” I asked, a little scared. “It would take weeks for this gorging to show on my frame! I’m already beginning to fatten up!”

Giggling, they began to knead and massage my belly, pushing into the new softness. I leaned my head back, overwhelmed with a pleasurable sensation of fatigue and lethargy. I began to moan without even meaning to.

I heard the cordless phone beep as it was turned on. I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side. One of the Munchies was holding the phone while another pressed buttons.

“Who are you guys calling?” I asked, drowsy.

“Food!” was all they answered.

“You guys hungry?” I asked.

“Food! For you!” they elaborated.

“Oh, no thanks. I…”

But they already pressed the phone to my ear. It was ringing. And then, the most beautiful voice answered the phone. It was her. It was Kim. They called the local Chinese place.
“Hi, thank you for calling the Won-Ton Man. How may I help you?” Kim asked.

“Hey Kim, it’s Darren,” I said.

“Oh hi, Darren! What can I get for you tonight?”

I looked at the Munchies who had circled some of the dishes on the menu. I read from it as they held it up for me, all the while giggling.

“Let me get a sesame chicken dinner, an order of fried dumplings, a quart of fried rice, two side orders of egg rolls, two orders of spring rolls, an order of crab rangoons with extra cream cheese, won ton soup, some fried chicken teriyaki, and how about one more order of fried dumplings?”

There was a moment of silence. “Whew!” she said, jokingly. “Is that all?” she asked. I could almost hear the smile in her voice.

I looked at the Munchies, who all nodded, proudly. “I think that’ll be it,” I answered.

“Your total is $42.67, and it’ll be ready in about 45 minutes,” Kim answered.

“Can I get that delivered?” I asked.

“Sure, I’ll deliver it myself,” she said.

“Thanks! Bye.”

“Bye.”

I turned to the Munchies who were looking at me, expectantly. “Forty-five minutes,” I told them.

They all erupted into laughter again and they all scattered, leaving a few behind to continue massaging my belly. I looked down and notice that it seemed a little larger. Nah, it has to be my imagination.

I leaned my head back, leaving myself to the mercy of the Munchies, who I could hear in the kitchen, giggling.

(continued in post 7 of this thread)
 

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