I'm at a point where I really do like my body as it is, and can look at myself in both my naked and dressed states and think I'm looking pretty good. But when it comes to the numbers, it's a different matter. I'm okay with the numbers when it's bra, dress or shirt sizes, but when it comes to skirt, pants, underpants, measurements or weight it's different and I'm not sure why. I guess it's because society tells us that certain numbers are okay and desirable and others aren't, and even though I know that's not true, it's a hard thing to shake. It's all internal, too, because I can fine with it in general and for other people, but when it comes to me and my numbers, it's wrong, it's too big, I'm too fat, it's embarrassing.
It's especially hard to tell someone else what those numbers are, and I have to fight to not be overwhelmed by such a sense of shame to admit what size I need, even to someone who loves fat women. You'd think it'd be easy then, but it's not. Even if I know they're more than okay with it, it's just so hard to get past.
It's kind of strange, I guess, because from what I've seen, a lot of FAs LOVE the numbers game. You see it all over the boards, where they talk about how big this model's ass is and how heavy that one is. The numbers are good to them, but I get the feeling a lot of them have no idea what the real world application of having them is like. Certainly not when it comes to buying underwear or pants to fit over your thighs and butt. It's one reason I prefer loose fitting dresses and skirts, because I know they'll fit over. I miss wearing pants, because I'm not sure my thighs will fit into the ones advertised, even on the fat girl sites.
Long ramble aside, I was interested in who else feels or has felt this way, and what do you do to work past it?
It's especially hard to tell someone else what those numbers are, and I have to fight to not be overwhelmed by such a sense of shame to admit what size I need, even to someone who loves fat women. You'd think it'd be easy then, but it's not. Even if I know they're more than okay with it, it's just so hard to get past.
It's kind of strange, I guess, because from what I've seen, a lot of FAs LOVE the numbers game. You see it all over the boards, where they talk about how big this model's ass is and how heavy that one is. The numbers are good to them, but I get the feeling a lot of them have no idea what the real world application of having them is like. Certainly not when it comes to buying underwear or pants to fit over your thighs and butt. It's one reason I prefer loose fitting dresses and skirts, because I know they'll fit over. I miss wearing pants, because I'm not sure my thighs will fit into the ones advertised, even on the fat girl sites.
Long ramble aside, I was interested in who else feels or has felt this way, and what do you do to work past it?
