I've gotten myself in a very tough situation here, and I could really use some un-biast oppinions on this matter, that and I just need to get it out.
I have been single for about a year, and for the longest time I felt bad for myself and was depressed and all this crap, but after being fed up with that approch to life I cleaned up my act and really became a social butterfly.
I have had a crush on this one girl since grade 10, lets call her J. and in grade 12 her boyfriend sent me an e mail which basically scared me away from talking to her ever again. So she was very much a platonic friend for a long time. Then about a year ago she moved into my area, she was living with her best friend at the time and the way her shedual worked they never saw eachother. J started to come hang out with myself and my friends more often cause her best friend got a boy friend and she couldnt stand it when they were together so she always wanted to go out and be away from those people.
I was still thinking of her as platonic so I wasnt even attracted to her, Its amazing how the mind works. anyway fast forward a few months, there was a concert in seattle that 5 of us were going to go see. One of them was J another was her BF. plus 2 of my buddies. well all three backed out and it ended up being just me and J. So off we went, he had a great time at the concert and then went out for a few drinks afterward. I was tired and once we got back to the hotel I was about to crash when J started talking. She was talking about her BF, about how she felt like even though she was 21 her life was over and she should have stayed with her ex and had a family etc...
Suddenly she starts balling her eyes out. Now this is a girl who never showed any emotion towards anyone. So basically we stayed up the whole night talking. This wasnt a one time deal though, suddenly it became everytime we drank, no matter how many people were around she and I would always end up staying up till 6 am talking. Her BF was always working on the weekends so he never came out with us. Except once, but he went to bed and we still kept talking.
The process repeated almost every weekend until June. That was the day she and I went to this bar down town, afterwards I walked her home. She opend the door to her place and threw her keys accross the room and ran into her bedroom. We ended up sleeping in her bed that night because after talking for so long we both just passed out.
But that wasnt a one time thing, when i went to this place called Bowen Island with my two good friends for my birthday, we had a blast the first night, I called her just to see how she was doing and told her how cool the place was. She was invited to go but couldnt because of a family get together. The next day my two buds had drank too much the previouse night, and were in no mood to party or even talk. it was looking like it would be a rather lame night until J called. "I'm at the ferrie terminal can you come pick me up?" She said the family thing ended early and it was boring without me around so she made the trip out here.
So we started drinking and she had a few pretty quick drinks, then I saw a tear coming down her eye, more followed then she collapst in my arms and cried her eyes out. Lots of stuff was on her mind and she just lost it, We ended up sleeping in the master bedroom, she looked so peacful. I had seen her at her worst but now she looked so calm. But this would only lead to more pain as the weeks followed.
She was the maid of honor for her friends wedding, and the whole thing went to hell the night before the wedding because the groomsmen were lazy and the other brides maids forgot stuff and it was a gong show. So while I'm trying to move closer to this other girl named T, girl who I was hanging out with that night J keeps texting me, and eventually calls me. She was pretty upset and needed someone to talk to. T wasnt too impressed and she didnt really want me there much after that call. The next day the wedding went off without a hitch, I knew she would be just fine.
Then J got a new Job, she started working 8 hour shifts, when she was used to working 4, she had to be up at 5am when she was used to sleeping in, and then she moved into a new place further away from me, with her boyfriend. Suddenly we were hanging out less and less, if she did stay the night she would want to go home the first thing the next morning. Until her BF went backhome to see his family for a few days. Three days in a row I hung out with J! after not talking to her for a week and a half. She said she's been so tired all the time she just doesnt want to deal with the relationship problems right now even though thats whats making her life so hard, she keeps putting things off. They are both very passive people so niether one wants to rock the boat for fear of hurting the other one and being alone again.
It was about time that her BF came out to drink with us for once, on this night where lots of rum was consumed. I was outside trying to ask out this one girl who seemed to like me, she turned me down "I didn't mean to flirt with you." bah!. But I didnt want to get too upset, when I came back inside everyone was asleep except for J who was half passed out on the floor and her BF who went to the couch and put his head down after J said "I dont want to sleep on the couch with you." So I went to the bed in the other room because the host was passed out on the other couch. Just then J comes running in and says "I'm sleeping here" and she jumps on the bed. I didnt have the pacience for this so I said "No its my bed come on." she said "Let just share it." Then I realised I had to get my phone cause my dad was going to call in the morning. I walked out and J's BF was walking around looking for his wallet. I grabbed my phone, said goodnight to him and went back into the room. The next day he was gone, when J called him he had just gotten to bed, he walked home at 4am. it took him 2 and a half hours and he was pissed. But i bet he would be more upset if he knew she and I have slept in the same bed together 8 times.
I would have thought she would distance herself from me, but she and I crashed at my place 2 weeks in a row. but I knew something was wrong because she started to ask to go home right when she woke up even thought she had nothing to do at home she just wanted to go. I was cool with it but this past week I was able to talk with her for a while about it. She said her BF doesnt have any friends so he doesnt have anyone to go hangout with besides her. so if she goes and hangs out with me she feels guilty for not spending time with him, but if she doesnt see me then she feels guilty for not seeing me. I figured I should distance myself from her but no matter what she keeps coming back into my life.
Its Thanksgiving weekend (In Canada) this weekend, so J's BF is going back home but she isnt going with him because she wants to see her family, now thats only one day. so for the other three guess who she will be calling?
This post was longer than I thought, and I have a second part to it that will be even more messed up. Thanks for reading.
Your Thoughts?
I have been single for about a year, and for the longest time I felt bad for myself and was depressed and all this crap, but after being fed up with that approch to life I cleaned up my act and really became a social butterfly.
I have had a crush on this one girl since grade 10, lets call her J. and in grade 12 her boyfriend sent me an e mail which basically scared me away from talking to her ever again. So she was very much a platonic friend for a long time. Then about a year ago she moved into my area, she was living with her best friend at the time and the way her shedual worked they never saw eachother. J started to come hang out with myself and my friends more often cause her best friend got a boy friend and she couldnt stand it when they were together so she always wanted to go out and be away from those people.
I was still thinking of her as platonic so I wasnt even attracted to her, Its amazing how the mind works. anyway fast forward a few months, there was a concert in seattle that 5 of us were going to go see. One of them was J another was her BF. plus 2 of my buddies. well all three backed out and it ended up being just me and J. So off we went, he had a great time at the concert and then went out for a few drinks afterward. I was tired and once we got back to the hotel I was about to crash when J started talking. She was talking about her BF, about how she felt like even though she was 21 her life was over and she should have stayed with her ex and had a family etc...
Suddenly she starts balling her eyes out. Now this is a girl who never showed any emotion towards anyone. So basically we stayed up the whole night talking. This wasnt a one time deal though, suddenly it became everytime we drank, no matter how many people were around she and I would always end up staying up till 6 am talking. Her BF was always working on the weekends so he never came out with us. Except once, but he went to bed and we still kept talking.
The process repeated almost every weekend until June. That was the day she and I went to this bar down town, afterwards I walked her home. She opend the door to her place and threw her keys accross the room and ran into her bedroom. We ended up sleeping in her bed that night because after talking for so long we both just passed out.
But that wasnt a one time thing, when i went to this place called Bowen Island with my two good friends for my birthday, we had a blast the first night, I called her just to see how she was doing and told her how cool the place was. She was invited to go but couldnt because of a family get together. The next day my two buds had drank too much the previouse night, and were in no mood to party or even talk. it was looking like it would be a rather lame night until J called. "I'm at the ferrie terminal can you come pick me up?" She said the family thing ended early and it was boring without me around so she made the trip out here.
So we started drinking and she had a few pretty quick drinks, then I saw a tear coming down her eye, more followed then she collapst in my arms and cried her eyes out. Lots of stuff was on her mind and she just lost it, We ended up sleeping in the master bedroom, she looked so peacful. I had seen her at her worst but now she looked so calm. But this would only lead to more pain as the weeks followed.
She was the maid of honor for her friends wedding, and the whole thing went to hell the night before the wedding because the groomsmen were lazy and the other brides maids forgot stuff and it was a gong show. So while I'm trying to move closer to this other girl named T, girl who I was hanging out with that night J keeps texting me, and eventually calls me. She was pretty upset and needed someone to talk to. T wasnt too impressed and she didnt really want me there much after that call. The next day the wedding went off without a hitch, I knew she would be just fine.
Then J got a new Job, she started working 8 hour shifts, when she was used to working 4, she had to be up at 5am when she was used to sleeping in, and then she moved into a new place further away from me, with her boyfriend. Suddenly we were hanging out less and less, if she did stay the night she would want to go home the first thing the next morning. Until her BF went backhome to see his family for a few days. Three days in a row I hung out with J! after not talking to her for a week and a half. She said she's been so tired all the time she just doesnt want to deal with the relationship problems right now even though thats whats making her life so hard, she keeps putting things off. They are both very passive people so niether one wants to rock the boat for fear of hurting the other one and being alone again.
It was about time that her BF came out to drink with us for once, on this night where lots of rum was consumed. I was outside trying to ask out this one girl who seemed to like me, she turned me down "I didn't mean to flirt with you." bah!. But I didnt want to get too upset, when I came back inside everyone was asleep except for J who was half passed out on the floor and her BF who went to the couch and put his head down after J said "I dont want to sleep on the couch with you." So I went to the bed in the other room because the host was passed out on the other couch. Just then J comes running in and says "I'm sleeping here" and she jumps on the bed. I didnt have the pacience for this so I said "No its my bed come on." she said "Let just share it." Then I realised I had to get my phone cause my dad was going to call in the morning. I walked out and J's BF was walking around looking for his wallet. I grabbed my phone, said goodnight to him and went back into the room. The next day he was gone, when J called him he had just gotten to bed, he walked home at 4am. it took him 2 and a half hours and he was pissed. But i bet he would be more upset if he knew she and I have slept in the same bed together 8 times.
I would have thought she would distance herself from me, but she and I crashed at my place 2 weeks in a row. but I knew something was wrong because she started to ask to go home right when she woke up even thought she had nothing to do at home she just wanted to go. I was cool with it but this past week I was able to talk with her for a while about it. She said her BF doesnt have any friends so he doesnt have anyone to go hangout with besides her. so if she goes and hangs out with me she feels guilty for not spending time with him, but if she doesnt see me then she feels guilty for not seeing me. I figured I should distance myself from her but no matter what she keeps coming back into my life.
Its Thanksgiving weekend (In Canada) this weekend, so J's BF is going back home but she isnt going with him because she wants to see her family, now thats only one day. so for the other three guess who she will be calling?
This post was longer than I thought, and I have a second part to it that will be even more messed up. Thanks for reading.
Your Thoughts?
