truebebeblue
Balls,I kicks em.
I was involved with a man I met in Dimschat off and on for 3 years...
He lives in England so it took me 3 yrs to get there to visit.. that also ended things.
Anyway,throughout our relationship we both went through alot of changes.
He was fully closetted when we met but eventually started to be more open about liking fat girls( or so i thought?). I was nearly housebound when we met and very ill. I am 100% better now and I love a completely different lifestyle than I ever imagined.
Throughout all the changes we talked lots and lots always planning a future together. Lots of ups and downs. Well after I finally went to Birmingham it was obvious it would not work.We left the hotel a few times...never going near his home area.. I never met anyone he knew...never got to see his home etc.
Being the person I am (very confident) this made me feel angry and humiliated
on top of devastation that I invested 3 yrs into something that turned out to be a very expensive lesson.
Afterward,He would have been happy to return to our online relationship as it was before...like no real life event ever took place..no thanks. I have moved on but i still think about him every day and it's not just because I miss him.
I also worry that he is lurking around BBW sites,even here chatting up unsuspecting women and possibly leading them to think there is something worth pursuing... when there isn't.I would hate another woman to experience that... So there is this yucky feeling mix,anger,remorse,heartbroken,humiliated,concerned and I miss the HOPE that I had in him... I think it must have been what was left of my youthful romantic side...I don't hate him.. that would be too easy.
SO what Do I do?Will time heal this? Can anyone relate? I am moving on.. I'm having a baby in November and my daily life no longer revolves around communication with him but in the quiet times... I still do think about it.
I really wish you could erase people Ala Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
True
He lives in England so it took me 3 yrs to get there to visit.. that also ended things.
Anyway,throughout our relationship we both went through alot of changes.
He was fully closetted when we met but eventually started to be more open about liking fat girls( or so i thought?). I was nearly housebound when we met and very ill. I am 100% better now and I love a completely different lifestyle than I ever imagined.
Throughout all the changes we talked lots and lots always planning a future together. Lots of ups and downs. Well after I finally went to Birmingham it was obvious it would not work.We left the hotel a few times...never going near his home area.. I never met anyone he knew...never got to see his home etc.
Being the person I am (very confident) this made me feel angry and humiliated
on top of devastation that I invested 3 yrs into something that turned out to be a very expensive lesson.
Afterward,He would have been happy to return to our online relationship as it was before...like no real life event ever took place..no thanks. I have moved on but i still think about him every day and it's not just because I miss him.
I also worry that he is lurking around BBW sites,even here chatting up unsuspecting women and possibly leading them to think there is something worth pursuing... when there isn't.I would hate another woman to experience that... So there is this yucky feeling mix,anger,remorse,heartbroken,humiliated,concerned and I miss the HOPE that I had in him... I think it must have been what was left of my youthful romantic side...I don't hate him.. that would be too easy.
SO what Do I do?Will time heal this? Can anyone relate? I am moving on.. I'm having a baby in November and my daily life no longer revolves around communication with him but in the quiet times... I still do think about it.
I really wish you could erase people Ala Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
True
