So I'm supposed to go to see Billy Joel in concert tonight. I SHOULD be incredibly excited, overly happy, all that... but I don't really feel anything. Just... numb.
It's been like this for a while, ever since I went to see Bruce Springsteen in '03 and had a freaking panic attack. Whenever I'm supposed to go somewhere like a concert or a play, I just stop feeling alive.
I don't even really want to go, I never did- the only reason I am is because it was a Christmas gift. Don't get me wrong, I love Billy Joel, but... since the Springsteen concert, I've been turned off of concerts.
Well, it's a bit of a lie that I don't feel anything. I do feel guilty because my mother spent so much money on this gift- the only reason why I'm going, really- and for some reason, sad.
My senses seem dull and blurred, everything's a shade of grey rather than the vibrant colors they normally are. My limbs feel heavy and somewhat detached. I feel like a chilly, overcast day that messes with one's sinuses, making it difficult to do anything but be lazy.
...Sorry, I just needed to ramble a little to somebody. You can ignore this if you want.
It's been like this for a while, ever since I went to see Bruce Springsteen in '03 and had a freaking panic attack. Whenever I'm supposed to go somewhere like a concert or a play, I just stop feeling alive.
I don't even really want to go, I never did- the only reason I am is because it was a Christmas gift. Don't get me wrong, I love Billy Joel, but... since the Springsteen concert, I've been turned off of concerts.
Well, it's a bit of a lie that I don't feel anything. I do feel guilty because my mother spent so much money on this gift- the only reason why I'm going, really- and for some reason, sad.
My senses seem dull and blurred, everything's a shade of grey rather than the vibrant colors they normally are. My limbs feel heavy and somewhat detached. I feel like a chilly, overcast day that messes with one's sinuses, making it difficult to do anything but be lazy.
...Sorry, I just needed to ramble a little to somebody. You can ignore this if you want.
