....but it's called Radiance on my PC, in however many parts it takes to post this.
Technically it is sci-fi/fantasy, and I'm posting this for the sake of people doing what they do best online: Bitching.
Welcome to a new world of fun.
If you don't like it, rewrite it, BUT DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRY TO MAKE THIS A FETISH STORY.
IT'S NOT.
That aside, I'm open to suggestions of any kind aside from fetish related ones, even though this is a fetish board. That's why I put it in the Off Topic area- duh! And thanks Conrad for adding this area.
The idea here is to quote what you don't like, and end quote before you put in what you do like or suggest. The references file is just that: references, and is not particularly open for editing, but if it could be phrased better, I'll hear it out.
Any suggestion really.
Or email me about more editing past this, cause I can't do this every time I change it. Maybe in a few dozen more pages, after I figure out the chapter breaks.
I think this is actually, so far, chapters one and two, though I'm not so sure where the breaks are, or if there's a chapter three as well and I can drag Aaron's bit out some more, though I don't know how. Kind of painted myself into a corner there, in that I can explain Aaron's statement, and have Kiista react and take it on from there- but I have no idea how to.
Stupid shit like that.
So. All that rambled out, here's the files. Enjoy, and edit. Anyone who wants to, and even the people who don't want to, because you'll be most objective about the stupid shit that I've missed.
And ignore the grammar, it's all intentional at this point.
Thanks in advance.
(PS: Why is RTF such a rare file format? And I know I missed a discussion somewhere about file size.... dammit... that's only supposed to be one continuous story so far, not divided....!! *grumble bitch whine*)
Technically it is sci-fi/fantasy, and I'm posting this for the sake of people doing what they do best online: Bitching.
Welcome to a new world of fun.
If you don't like it, rewrite it, BUT DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRY TO MAKE THIS A FETISH STORY.
IT'S NOT.
That aside, I'm open to suggestions of any kind aside from fetish related ones, even though this is a fetish board. That's why I put it in the Off Topic area- duh! And thanks Conrad for adding this area.
The idea here is to quote what you don't like, and end quote before you put in what you do like or suggest. The references file is just that: references, and is not particularly open for editing, but if it could be phrased better, I'll hear it out.
Any suggestion really.
Or email me about more editing past this, cause I can't do this every time I change it. Maybe in a few dozen more pages, after I figure out the chapter breaks.
I think this is actually, so far, chapters one and two, though I'm not so sure where the breaks are, or if there's a chapter three as well and I can drag Aaron's bit out some more, though I don't know how. Kind of painted myself into a corner there, in that I can explain Aaron's statement, and have Kiista react and take it on from there- but I have no idea how to.
Stupid shit like that.
So. All that rambled out, here's the files. Enjoy, and edit. Anyone who wants to, and even the people who don't want to, because you'll be most objective about the stupid shit that I've missed.
And ignore the grammar, it's all intentional at this point.
Thanks in advance.
(PS: Why is RTF such a rare file format? And I know I missed a discussion somewhere about file size.... dammit... that's only supposed to be one continuous story so far, not divided....!! *grumble bitch whine*)
