Dr. Feelgood
intellectual nerd
I love weddings: there's something surreal about them to begin with, and the more showy and extravagant the ceremony, the better chance there is of something going wrong. Having been duly ordained by the Universal Life Church, I am registered at the county courthouse to perform weddings in the great state of Oklahoma. And tonight I hitched a bride and groom in a ceremony that very nearly came unglued.
Things got a little tense when the maid of honor showed up. She was a tall, statuesque blond (statuesque = about a DDD cup), and her bridesmaid dress was a form-fitting black sheath. Backless. With spaghetti straps. And a V-neck about halfway to her waist. And, of course, you can't wear a brassiere with something like that. So she didn't. :blush:
The ceremony got under way, and the bride came down the aisle, if anyone noticed. And then, just as I got to the schmaltziest, most sentimental part of my wedding sermon, the maid of honor bent over to whisper to the flower girl.
Four hundred people were killed in the ensuing avalanche. No, the black sheath did its job and held everything in, but the bride's grandfather nearly had a heart attack. I didn't see how the bride reacted; for some reason my glasses were completely fogged over.
Anybody else have a wedding story?
Things got a little tense when the maid of honor showed up. She was a tall, statuesque blond (statuesque = about a DDD cup), and her bridesmaid dress was a form-fitting black sheath. Backless. With spaghetti straps. And a V-neck about halfway to her waist. And, of course, you can't wear a brassiere with something like that. So she didn't. :blush:
The ceremony got under way, and the bride came down the aisle, if anyone noticed. And then, just as I got to the schmaltziest, most sentimental part of my wedding sermon, the maid of honor bent over to whisper to the flower girl.
Four hundred people were killed in the ensuing avalanche. No, the black sheath did its job and held everything in, but the bride's grandfather nearly had a heart attack. I didn't see how the bride reacted; for some reason my glasses were completely fogged over.
Anybody else have a wedding story?
