Da Games Elite
Well-Known Member
(SSBBW, Magic, Parody, ~XWG) – A parody of all that is Feederism.
(Author's note: If you are looking for a serious erotic piece, please leave now. There’s the door. Vamanos! This piece does have WG in it, and lot’s of it. In fact, this is a WG story that makes fun of Feederism completely, among other things varying from religion, society, popular culture, and even the laws of gravity. So, if you are offended easily, please stop reading. and X out of the page. Press the back button. Whatever. Just go. Now. I’m not joking; get out of here!
Okay, the rest of you enjoy!
)
(P. S. - he means it. Be forewarned if you are a feeder/feedee, you're about to be roasted on a spit. But IMHO its all in fun. - ed.)
Part A - Introduction
Alan had been down on his luck for years. He had found dead end job after dead end job. He had never been able to hold a girlfriend for more than ten days due to a bizarre obsession he had with fat. He had. to put it mildly, a few problems because of it.
The most obvious failing was that he had orgasms whenever he saw women eat. It was something he had no control over; whenever a girl began to munch on even a cookie, he would start breathing heavily and semen would come out. The girl would traditionally notice this, slap him across the face, kick his ass a little bit, and walk out the door after taking back whatever they had brought with them and then some.
The next problem usually restricted girls from even entering his life: he only dated skinny girls who wanted to get fat, never those who were already chubby. He usually told them this after a somewhat uncomfortable first date dinner. Sometimes they slapped him, threw wine at him, and left. Other times, they thought he was just drunk and drove him home (this wasn’t too farfetched, as he normally acted like an idiot lumbering around everywhere as though he had a hangover, even though he was stone sober and this was just his normal spazzed out persona).
The final problem was that he couldn’t deviate from this brhavior. If a beautiful woman with a billion dollars and a beautiful sleek figure walked in, or a girl with a personality of gold who would love him until the day he died with just a little pudge in the belly popped up, he would ignore them and their advances. Sometimes he’d just outright yell “GET AWAY FROM ME!!! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE!? I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE FIFTY BAJILLION DOLLARS WITH YOU!!! JUST GET THE . . . He never finished the swear word expression because usually the girl had already socked him in the throat or balls. He at times wondered whether or not he would still be able to have children anymore after all the times he had been hit. It was a wonder he was still alive. He must have had good medical insurance.
One day, however, his lucky boat came in. Literally. One day he was at the docks and a mysterious boat came out of lierally nowhere and crashed into him. On the bow was its name, the FA Lucky. But he didn't know that because he was unconscious. When he came to, a big man with a blue robe and massive, pointed blue wizard hat was above him. He wasn’t fat, but very tall and lean, with a long white beard flowing down his chest and half-moon spectacles.
All Alan could say was one thing: “Do you have a nickel? I need to make a phone call to my lawyer for you hitting me with your freaking boat!”
Why he said that when everyone knows phone calls are up to fifty cents now is anyone's guess, but this remember was Alan, and he was always different.
“Oh my,” mumbled the wizardwith the frwaky hat.
“Don’t you know how to drive that thing?! What is the matter with you!? You’re lucky I’m not dead.”
“Don’t you think it’s strange that you just got hit by a boat and aren’t dead? In the least?” replied the wizard.
“…not really…”
“Or even able to talk or do life actions…?”
“Sorry…”
“Man, you are an idiot just like they told me…”
“Who told you?”
The man pointed into the sky, where a bright light from the heavens shined down. A dove or two landed on his shoulders, twittering innocently. And then, the doves pooped on his arms.
“Figures…” he muttered. "beats than being bombed by seagulls in flight anyway."
“Who are you?” demanded Alan.
“You mean you haven’t guessed yet? You are stupid…”
“Dumbledore?”
“Nope.”
“Merlin?”
“Sorry.”
“Gandalf?”
“Do you want to use a life line? You do watch Millionaire and at least kniw what that is, don't you?”
“Just tell me!”
“I’m an Angel!”
“What’s your name?”
“I am Raziel, the keeper of secrets!”
“Raziel…Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“No? I’m the guy who told Noah how to build his ark!”
“Nope.”
“Helped Solomon build his temple?”
“Sorry.”
“I’m the man who made Kabalah!”
“I guess maybe I do need to use a Lifeline.”
“You are an idiot…” Raziel said, shaking his head, “Anyway…I’m here to grant you a wish…any wish at all…”
“I want my nickel!” Alan shouted.
“Uh…I mean…anything unusual…hidden fantasies…you know…that kind of thing?”
“Uh…can I have a million nickels?”
“FORGET ABOUT THE BLOODY NICKELS!!!!!” Raziel shouted, angrily.
“Why? I like nickels!”
“Aren’t you an FA?”
“How did you know? Are you some kind of supernatural thing?”
Raziel didn’t respond to stupid questions, “Don’t you have fantasies on, you know, fattening up women? Having orgasms while watching them eat?”
“Yes…”
“And isn’t this a WG story on Dimensions Forums? The rules clearly say we have to have WG or something existentially related or this whole thing can be yanked!”
“Hey…are we allowed to break the Fourth Wall?”
“I think I just did!”
“Well…wow…I must have been hit in the head harder than I thought…”
“Anyway…back on the topic at hand…” Raziel said, a vein pulsing in his head, “I am going to give you three girls…and you have to choose one to be your life partner. You have no other choice!”
“What?! Can’t I make my own wishes?! If I had a billion dollars, I could get a thousand feedees as brides!”
“Polygamy is against Catholism!”
“I thought you were a Kabalist!”
“I made Kabaha, but there’s more to life than one religion!”
“Not to mention lust is a bad thing…so why are you helping—”
“Forget it!”
“Not to mention the fact that you had to hit me with your boat!”
“Don’t get back on the boat! Three girls, alright!? Choose one! Got it?!”
“Sure, alright! Boy no freedom here at all!”
“Don’t even thinkof using the Lord’s name—”
“Whatever! Show me the chicks!”
“Alright…” Raziel handed Alan a remote control. He fingered it, feeling the power in his hands.
“I don’t feel special.”
Go with the story, Alan, or else!
“Don’t make fun of the narrator, Alan! Even an angel is powerless with him!”
“Oh yeah? What can he do?”
Alan felt his balls slowly shrivel up inside of his pants.
“Alright! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!”
Alan’s balls returned to normal.
“Thanks…”
Alan clicked one of the buttons, and all existence faded away around him.
Part B – The Foreign Land
When Alan opened his eyes, the entire world around him was super colorful. Everything looked as though it had been animated or drawn. He looked at his own hands, seeing pencil lines forming his outline. “Wow…I must be high!”
“No!” Raziel said, appearing besides him and also animated, “This is girl number one. This is a Japanese cartoon, or anime. In here, they are thousands of girls who are absolutely gluttonous who never gain a single pound at all!”
“Why’s that?”
“Something of an anime law. Don’t ask.”
“But I’m looking for girls who get fat and eat a lot!”
“We’ve turned off that rule for now. Only for you.”
“Who is the lucky girl?” Alan asked, a greedy expression on his face.
“That girl over there!” Raziel pointed toward a red haired girl with her hair into buns. She was somewhat soft, but still retained a slender figure. She had a somewhat rounded face as well.
“Uh…Raziel…you are aware that girl is under 18, and according to Dimension’s rules, we can’t write sexual advances toward people under 18…” Alan said.
“So what?” Raziel said, “We’ll just bleep the sexual language, and make it a different feeling!”
“What?”
“Euphoria!”
“That sucks! Orgasms are cooler!”
“Do you want the narrator to get banned? No? Then shut up!”
“Okay! Fine!”
Alan ran over to the girl, his body somehow flying through the air with each bound. He smashed straight into the girl, smashing her into a window. Although the glass shattered, she was miraculously unharmed.
“Wow…the laws of physics mustn’t apply here…” Alan muttered, observing how he felt more pain than the girl displayed.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“Not really!”
“Good! What is your problem running around like that for, huh?”
“Well…uh…”
“Her name’s Miaka,” a voice in his ear he recognized as Raziel said.
“Ah! Miaka!”
“How do you know my name without even me saying it? Did you stalk me all the way here?!”
“No, I—”
“To think someone would be crazy enough to follow me everywhere I went! I must be really beautiful if someone wanted to waste their time with me!”
“Uh…Do you want to go out for a meal, maybe?” Alan began to notice the beginnings of a belly through her tight school uniform.
“Sorry! I’m going to see my boyfriend! See ya!”
“Wait a second!” Alan ran up, and grabbed Miaka by the shoulder. At the same time, another hand clamped him around the shoulder.
“Excuse me…” a voice snarled behind him, “Are you touching my girlfriend?”
“Uh….”
“Hi, Taka!”
Alan didn’t even get a chance to process whgere every fist smashing into him. It was just a flurry of blowsHe felt pain in his head, his throat, his spleen, his nuts, and even his skin hurt painfully. In the end, Alan was bleeding on the sidewalk.
“But why…?”
“Why?” the boyfriend named Taka snarled back, “Don’t you know how long the line is to date this girl is?”
“Uh…Taka…you’re pushing it again…Here’s a nickel…”
“My nickel!” Alan snarled, jumping up despite the massive amounts of wounds inflicted. Taka backhanded him into the sky, and a ball of red energy flew into him, smashing him into the atmosphere to burn to a crisp.
Alan reappeared on the dock with Raziel, him shaking his head.
“Why didn’t you tell me she had a boyfriend?!”
“No reason. You asked for a girl to have as a feedee, but nothing necessarily about her being available.”
“That’s unfair! That’s cheap and cold!”
“No, it’s effective! If you knew how hard it was to find three bona fide girls who’d actually enjoy eating and getting fat, you wouldn’t be so quick to get pissed off about whether or not she’s available!”
“That’s cheap, you old freak!”
“Angel.”
“Whatever! Just show me bachelorette two!”
Part C – This is Awkward…
Alan appeared in a small, thin hallway. The doors were lined with bars, and he became aware of the fact that crazy people were starring at him.
“The walls are closing in on me…” Alan muttered.
“Yes, that’s true…” Raziel said, “They are closing in…”
“Wow…”
“This is the first girl I found. I originally felt that only a complete nut would willingly gain weight, so I looked in a nuthouse! Pretty clever, huh?”
“You enjoy watching people suffer, you devil…”
“Yes, I do…, but I'm an angel not a demon,please.” Raziel said, “Here she is! Let me open the cage up!”
“Cage?”
A feral woman leaped from an open doorway the second Raziel tapped a bar with his long finger. The woman began licking Alan's face like a dog as Raziel said, “Awww, see? She likes you already!”
“She’s a psycho! Why did you choose her anyway?!”
“She has a fetish for both weight gain—”
“Thank Goodnessd!”
“And blood sucking.”
“Come again?” He slowly became aware of her digging her teeth into his arms, drawing blood that she lapped up like a dog.
“She was found in a vampire cult. She lost about twenty pounds because she tended to eat her victims when she sucked them dry. Most of her weight was liquid weight, and she loved to caress her bloated body…”
“Raziel! This animal/human is eating my arm!!! ARGH!!!!! MAKE THE OWIES GO AWAY!!!!!”
“Baby…can’t you see that love is a force so powerful it transcends the boundaries of sanity?”
“She’s gonna kill me!!! ARGH!!!!”
The woman was now progressing to nibble on what appeared to be Alan’s arteries. However, Alan’s face relaxed as he said, “Can you go a little to the left, please?”
“If you insist…” she groweld
Suddenly therewas acrash of thunder They returned to the dock, where Alan’s arm had returned to normal. “Thank goodness…now…please let the last person be good!”
“This was the perfect match…and it worked perfect with you…”
“Good! Now let's move on and do this! I don't want to argue”
Part D – The All-Too-Perfect Girl
He appeared before a beautiful woman sitting in a bar. She was unbelievably sexy, with a waist that was perhaps a size four, breasts and hips that were rather large, and an adorable rear end. Her hair was long, and silky. Her eyes were golden.
She was totally sexy.
“Wow…she’d look hot with a few extra pounds…”
The woman turned around, and Alan prepared for the inevitable slap. It never came. He expected wine thrown at his face. It never came. The woman opened her mouth to speak, but she puked onto the floor.
“Great…the last woman is drunk…doesn’t anyone actually want to gain weight just for the sake of doing it without actually having any sort of problem with them!?”
A woman down the bar raised her hand, but Raziel punched her in the face, knocking her out a window and out of sight before Alan noticed. Everyone else, for the sake of their own personal safety, went back to their drinks.
“Wow…no one…”
The drunken girl clung to his neck.
“Hi there, cutie!” she said, her voice slurred so horribly it was hard to distinguish one word from another (and a southern accent), “You gonna take me out on a date or wha’?”
“Yes. Are you prepared to get super fat?”
“You betcha!”
“Alright! Let’s go!”
Her name was Alicia. On their first date, she devoured an entire bowl of salad after another. In the end, she put away ten bowls. Nothing much of course happened. So he decided to start ordering for her. But for some reason he could only order salads. But for some reason, they worked. She started to grow. Their dinners went sort of like this, Alan taking her out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and her belly expanding. Alan didn't know where the money in his pocket kept coming from, had npo job or even a sense of place where either of them were sleeping. But he was 100% focused on her eating and didn't care.
One such night, Alicia appeared as though she was three hundred pounds. How she had gained that much weight in about one week, Alan may never know. It sort of defied all laws of logic. Girls don’t gain hundreds in a week, especially on salads, unless it was some sort of poorly conceived fantasy story. Her potbelly strained the buttons of her uniform greatly.
"What is with the uniform?," asked the editor as he laughingly performed his duties, but neither the author or the angel replied.
Alan watched the buttons and prepared himself for one of them to snap later on in the date.
“Honey…I was looking in the mirror today…and I think I might of put on a little weight. What do you think?” she said.
Alan opened his mouth, but then closed it as he observed her body more deeply. Her love handles had grown up so fast, being so large and soft. Her belly sprawled out over her massive thighs, her massive arms holding up a super sized cherubic face with little neck under a double chin. Her breasts alone pushed away most of her fifteen so plates of food she had already eaten. When he spoke, he knew he was using the logical, most polite, way of saying what he knew would help his objective of fattening her up even more so he could be even more aroused than he already was.
“You bet your fat tub of lard ass you've gained weight!”
“Alan…you don’t know how much I needed to hear that,” With that, she ate her sixteenth bowl of salad.
“To think she’s gotten this fat on the salad diet…” Alan muttered to himself, “You’d think McDonalds…or some fast food restaurant.”
“Man…this suit is getting really tight…” Alicia said, spreading her pudgy fingers over her strained buttons.
“They should burst soon.”
A minute or two passed. “Okay, why aren’t they bursting?”
The buttons flew from her shirt. The table was torn apart as Alicia’s flabby stomach and chest rippled out like a tidal wave from her body out onto the table. The buttons smashed straight though Alan’s body. But there was no pain. He felt his wounds seal up as he saw Raziel standing over at him from the bar, drinking a pint.
Another month passed. Alicia was about seven hundred pounds now. Her wide frame was difficult to fit through most convenient doors, but she still found her way to every salad meal. Alan knew it wasn’t a good idea to keep her mobile or else she might lose weight, so he told her one day to stay in bed, and he’d feed her.
“No, Alan, that’s okay! I’ll walk.”
“No, you’ll sit down so that you can gain faster…” Alan said in a calm voice.
“No, that’s really okay!”
“Alright! Screw it! I’m bringing in the chains!”
Alan chained her to the bed now, with Alicia calling back each second, “This really isn’t necessary, ya know!”
“I know. It just makes the scenario more interesting, don’t you think?” Alan tried to seal the chains around her massive wrists. In the end, he resorted to pulling flabs of fat apart (not tearing her soft flesh, just pushing them aside) so he could fit the super sized chains around her.
Another month later, and the chains had been so horribly damaged by her expanding figure that they had been rendered useless. The bedframes had fallen apart to splinters, for none could support Alicia’s metric ton frame. Even her room was becoming too small, and Alan had to climb up her belly like a mountain to reach her misshapen face to feed her.
“Wow…look how much you’ve grown!”
“What’s that?” Alicia shouted, “I can’t hear you! My fat rolls are covering my ears!”
Another month, and the apartment Alan had rented had grown too small. Alicia had crushed it with her massive weight gain, and she saved everyone in the apartment’s life by eating away all the debris. After so much salad it tasted rather different and she needed cariety. Alan survived because he had hidden himself with her soft, comfortable rolls.
Soon, the entire city of New York had gotten to small, and Alicia had crushed the very island with her weight. Fortunately the 9/11 inspired evacuation plan was in place and the population escaped. Alan realized that he had the power, with Alicia’s super massive fatness, to conquer the world! However the current and immediate past mayors of NYC were taking up too much TV time out-claiming each other for the success ofthe evacuation for Alan to get any coverage.
And then, the last thing he remembered, Alicia ate him by accident when she was chewing up Chuck Norris.
Part E – The Aftermath
Alan woke up in the middle of a hospital. An old man with a large beard was smiling down at him, “You are lucky to be alive, son. After an accident like that…”
“Raziel…?”
“I’m afraid you are still delirious…”
“Where’s Alicia?”
“Who?”
“We had such a great time together!”
“What are you blabbering about, son?”
“And then there was that rush—!”
“Young man, shut up as I try explaining what happened to you!”
The man was dressed in the garb of a hospital doctor and had the title Surgery on his smock.
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, we removed a massive tumor in your brain.”
“There was a tumor in my brain?”
“Yes. It caused you to have, excuse me, uncontrolled sexual pleasure while watching women eat.”
“Uh…maybe?”
“Alright, sir, now you only have controllable exterior symptoms of sexual pleasure while watching women eat.”
“Do I still get horny?”
“Uh…yes…”
“THANK GOODNESS!!!”
“And you also now had, before, an IQ equivilant of a Mongolian Spider.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Now, you have the equivalent intelligence of a Beluga Whale, which is a very good thing.”
“What’s a Beluga?”
“Sorry, I read the wrong word. That’s what we believe you will now be sexually aroused by.…I mean the intelligence equivalence of a crocodile. That, I’m afraid, is still inferior to any human being known to mankind.”
“Oh…that’s cool…”
“I am sorry, but you will never be the same again…”
He was right. After leaving the hospital, Alan actually managed to find a girl who he could turn fat. She was totally useless for any other purpose, even doing cooking at housework or carrying onm an intelligent conversation , but Alan didn't care. He had never been happier in his life!
The End
(Author' Comment: Corny ending, but the entire story is corny anyway!)
(OK,we can agree on that. But if you're going to use palabras de espanol, even in parody, por favor spell them correctly. Gracias. - ed)
WG Screw Up – The Three Chances
by Da Games Elite
by Da Games Elite
(Author's note: If you are looking for a serious erotic piece, please leave now. There’s the door. Vamanos! This piece does have WG in it, and lot’s of it. In fact, this is a WG story that makes fun of Feederism completely, among other things varying from religion, society, popular culture, and even the laws of gravity. So, if you are offended easily, please stop reading. and X out of the page. Press the back button. Whatever. Just go. Now. I’m not joking; get out of here!
Okay, the rest of you enjoy!
)(P. S. - he means it. Be forewarned if you are a feeder/feedee, you're about to be roasted on a spit. But IMHO its all in fun. - ed.)
Part A - Introduction
Alan had been down on his luck for years. He had found dead end job after dead end job. He had never been able to hold a girlfriend for more than ten days due to a bizarre obsession he had with fat. He had. to put it mildly, a few problems because of it.
The most obvious failing was that he had orgasms whenever he saw women eat. It was something he had no control over; whenever a girl began to munch on even a cookie, he would start breathing heavily and semen would come out. The girl would traditionally notice this, slap him across the face, kick his ass a little bit, and walk out the door after taking back whatever they had brought with them and then some.
The next problem usually restricted girls from even entering his life: he only dated skinny girls who wanted to get fat, never those who were already chubby. He usually told them this after a somewhat uncomfortable first date dinner. Sometimes they slapped him, threw wine at him, and left. Other times, they thought he was just drunk and drove him home (this wasn’t too farfetched, as he normally acted like an idiot lumbering around everywhere as though he had a hangover, even though he was stone sober and this was just his normal spazzed out persona).
The final problem was that he couldn’t deviate from this brhavior. If a beautiful woman with a billion dollars and a beautiful sleek figure walked in, or a girl with a personality of gold who would love him until the day he died with just a little pudge in the belly popped up, he would ignore them and their advances. Sometimes he’d just outright yell “GET AWAY FROM ME!!! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE!? I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE FIFTY BAJILLION DOLLARS WITH YOU!!! JUST GET THE . . . He never finished the swear word expression because usually the girl had already socked him in the throat or balls. He at times wondered whether or not he would still be able to have children anymore after all the times he had been hit. It was a wonder he was still alive. He must have had good medical insurance.
One day, however, his lucky boat came in. Literally. One day he was at the docks and a mysterious boat came out of lierally nowhere and crashed into him. On the bow was its name, the FA Lucky. But he didn't know that because he was unconscious. When he came to, a big man with a blue robe and massive, pointed blue wizard hat was above him. He wasn’t fat, but very tall and lean, with a long white beard flowing down his chest and half-moon spectacles.
All Alan could say was one thing: “Do you have a nickel? I need to make a phone call to my lawyer for you hitting me with your freaking boat!”
Why he said that when everyone knows phone calls are up to fifty cents now is anyone's guess, but this remember was Alan, and he was always different.
“Oh my,” mumbled the wizardwith the frwaky hat.
“Don’t you know how to drive that thing?! What is the matter with you!? You’re lucky I’m not dead.”
“Don’t you think it’s strange that you just got hit by a boat and aren’t dead? In the least?” replied the wizard.
“…not really…”
“Or even able to talk or do life actions…?”
“Sorry…”
“Man, you are an idiot just like they told me…”
“Who told you?”
The man pointed into the sky, where a bright light from the heavens shined down. A dove or two landed on his shoulders, twittering innocently. And then, the doves pooped on his arms.
“Figures…” he muttered. "beats than being bombed by seagulls in flight anyway."
“Who are you?” demanded Alan.
“You mean you haven’t guessed yet? You are stupid…”
“Dumbledore?”
“Nope.”
“Merlin?”
“Sorry.”
“Gandalf?”
“Do you want to use a life line? You do watch Millionaire and at least kniw what that is, don't you?”
“Just tell me!”
“I’m an Angel!”
“What’s your name?”
“I am Raziel, the keeper of secrets!”
“Raziel…Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“No? I’m the guy who told Noah how to build his ark!”
“Nope.”
“Helped Solomon build his temple?”
“Sorry.”
“I’m the man who made Kabalah!”
“I guess maybe I do need to use a Lifeline.”
“You are an idiot…” Raziel said, shaking his head, “Anyway…I’m here to grant you a wish…any wish at all…”
“I want my nickel!” Alan shouted.
“Uh…I mean…anything unusual…hidden fantasies…you know…that kind of thing?”
“Uh…can I have a million nickels?”
“FORGET ABOUT THE BLOODY NICKELS!!!!!” Raziel shouted, angrily.
“Why? I like nickels!”
“Aren’t you an FA?”
“How did you know? Are you some kind of supernatural thing?”
Raziel didn’t respond to stupid questions, “Don’t you have fantasies on, you know, fattening up women? Having orgasms while watching them eat?”
“Yes…”
“And isn’t this a WG story on Dimensions Forums? The rules clearly say we have to have WG or something existentially related or this whole thing can be yanked!”
“Hey…are we allowed to break the Fourth Wall?”
“I think I just did!”
“Well…wow…I must have been hit in the head harder than I thought…”
“Anyway…back on the topic at hand…” Raziel said, a vein pulsing in his head, “I am going to give you three girls…and you have to choose one to be your life partner. You have no other choice!”
“What?! Can’t I make my own wishes?! If I had a billion dollars, I could get a thousand feedees as brides!”
“Polygamy is against Catholism!”
“I thought you were a Kabalist!”
“I made Kabaha, but there’s more to life than one religion!”
“Not to mention lust is a bad thing…so why are you helping—”
“Forget it!”
“Not to mention the fact that you had to hit me with your boat!”
“Don’t get back on the boat! Three girls, alright!? Choose one! Got it?!”
“Sure, alright! Boy no freedom here at all!”
“Don’t even thinkof using the Lord’s name—”
“Whatever! Show me the chicks!”
“Alright…” Raziel handed Alan a remote control. He fingered it, feeling the power in his hands.
“I don’t feel special.”
Go with the story, Alan, or else!
“Don’t make fun of the narrator, Alan! Even an angel is powerless with him!”
“Oh yeah? What can he do?”
Alan felt his balls slowly shrivel up inside of his pants.
“Alright! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!”
Alan’s balls returned to normal.
“Thanks…”
Alan clicked one of the buttons, and all existence faded away around him.
Part B – The Foreign Land
When Alan opened his eyes, the entire world around him was super colorful. Everything looked as though it had been animated or drawn. He looked at his own hands, seeing pencil lines forming his outline. “Wow…I must be high!”
“No!” Raziel said, appearing besides him and also animated, “This is girl number one. This is a Japanese cartoon, or anime. In here, they are thousands of girls who are absolutely gluttonous who never gain a single pound at all!”
“Why’s that?”
“Something of an anime law. Don’t ask.”
“But I’m looking for girls who get fat and eat a lot!”
“We’ve turned off that rule for now. Only for you.”
“Who is the lucky girl?” Alan asked, a greedy expression on his face.
“That girl over there!” Raziel pointed toward a red haired girl with her hair into buns. She was somewhat soft, but still retained a slender figure. She had a somewhat rounded face as well.
“Uh…Raziel…you are aware that girl is under 18, and according to Dimension’s rules, we can’t write sexual advances toward people under 18…” Alan said.
“So what?” Raziel said, “We’ll just bleep the sexual language, and make it a different feeling!”
“What?”
“Euphoria!”
“That sucks! Orgasms are cooler!”
“Do you want the narrator to get banned? No? Then shut up!”
“Okay! Fine!”
Alan ran over to the girl, his body somehow flying through the air with each bound. He smashed straight into the girl, smashing her into a window. Although the glass shattered, she was miraculously unharmed.
“Wow…the laws of physics mustn’t apply here…” Alan muttered, observing how he felt more pain than the girl displayed.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“Not really!”
“Good! What is your problem running around like that for, huh?”
“Well…uh…”
“Her name’s Miaka,” a voice in his ear he recognized as Raziel said.
“Ah! Miaka!”
“How do you know my name without even me saying it? Did you stalk me all the way here?!”
“No, I—”
“To think someone would be crazy enough to follow me everywhere I went! I must be really beautiful if someone wanted to waste their time with me!”
“Uh…Do you want to go out for a meal, maybe?” Alan began to notice the beginnings of a belly through her tight school uniform.
“Sorry! I’m going to see my boyfriend! See ya!”
“Wait a second!” Alan ran up, and grabbed Miaka by the shoulder. At the same time, another hand clamped him around the shoulder.
“Excuse me…” a voice snarled behind him, “Are you touching my girlfriend?”
“Uh….”
“Hi, Taka!”
Alan didn’t even get a chance to process whgere every fist smashing into him. It was just a flurry of blowsHe felt pain in his head, his throat, his spleen, his nuts, and even his skin hurt painfully. In the end, Alan was bleeding on the sidewalk.
“But why…?”
“Why?” the boyfriend named Taka snarled back, “Don’t you know how long the line is to date this girl is?”
“Uh…Taka…you’re pushing it again…Here’s a nickel…”
“My nickel!” Alan snarled, jumping up despite the massive amounts of wounds inflicted. Taka backhanded him into the sky, and a ball of red energy flew into him, smashing him into the atmosphere to burn to a crisp.
Alan reappeared on the dock with Raziel, him shaking his head.
“Why didn’t you tell me she had a boyfriend?!”
“No reason. You asked for a girl to have as a feedee, but nothing necessarily about her being available.”
“That’s unfair! That’s cheap and cold!”
“No, it’s effective! If you knew how hard it was to find three bona fide girls who’d actually enjoy eating and getting fat, you wouldn’t be so quick to get pissed off about whether or not she’s available!”
“That’s cheap, you old freak!”
“Angel.”
“Whatever! Just show me bachelorette two!”
Part C – This is Awkward…
Alan appeared in a small, thin hallway. The doors were lined with bars, and he became aware of the fact that crazy people were starring at him.
“The walls are closing in on me…” Alan muttered.
“Yes, that’s true…” Raziel said, “They are closing in…”
“Wow…”
“This is the first girl I found. I originally felt that only a complete nut would willingly gain weight, so I looked in a nuthouse! Pretty clever, huh?”
“You enjoy watching people suffer, you devil…”
“Yes, I do…, but I'm an angel not a demon,please.” Raziel said, “Here she is! Let me open the cage up!”
“Cage?”
A feral woman leaped from an open doorway the second Raziel tapped a bar with his long finger. The woman began licking Alan's face like a dog as Raziel said, “Awww, see? She likes you already!”
“She’s a psycho! Why did you choose her anyway?!”
“She has a fetish for both weight gain—”
“Thank Goodnessd!”
“And blood sucking.”
“Come again?” He slowly became aware of her digging her teeth into his arms, drawing blood that she lapped up like a dog.
“She was found in a vampire cult. She lost about twenty pounds because she tended to eat her victims when she sucked them dry. Most of her weight was liquid weight, and she loved to caress her bloated body…”
“Raziel! This animal/human is eating my arm!!! ARGH!!!!! MAKE THE OWIES GO AWAY!!!!!”
“Baby…can’t you see that love is a force so powerful it transcends the boundaries of sanity?”
“She’s gonna kill me!!! ARGH!!!!”
The woman was now progressing to nibble on what appeared to be Alan’s arteries. However, Alan’s face relaxed as he said, “Can you go a little to the left, please?”
“If you insist…” she groweld
Suddenly therewas acrash of thunder They returned to the dock, where Alan’s arm had returned to normal. “Thank goodness…now…please let the last person be good!”
“This was the perfect match…and it worked perfect with you…”
“Good! Now let's move on and do this! I don't want to argue”
Part D – The All-Too-Perfect Girl
He appeared before a beautiful woman sitting in a bar. She was unbelievably sexy, with a waist that was perhaps a size four, breasts and hips that were rather large, and an adorable rear end. Her hair was long, and silky. Her eyes were golden.
She was totally sexy.
“Wow…she’d look hot with a few extra pounds…”
The woman turned around, and Alan prepared for the inevitable slap. It never came. He expected wine thrown at his face. It never came. The woman opened her mouth to speak, but she puked onto the floor.
“Great…the last woman is drunk…doesn’t anyone actually want to gain weight just for the sake of doing it without actually having any sort of problem with them!?”
A woman down the bar raised her hand, but Raziel punched her in the face, knocking her out a window and out of sight before Alan noticed. Everyone else, for the sake of their own personal safety, went back to their drinks.
“Wow…no one…”
The drunken girl clung to his neck.
“Hi there, cutie!” she said, her voice slurred so horribly it was hard to distinguish one word from another (and a southern accent), “You gonna take me out on a date or wha’?”
“Yes. Are you prepared to get super fat?”
“You betcha!”
“Alright! Let’s go!”
Her name was Alicia. On their first date, she devoured an entire bowl of salad after another. In the end, she put away ten bowls. Nothing much of course happened. So he decided to start ordering for her. But for some reason he could only order salads. But for some reason, they worked. She started to grow. Their dinners went sort of like this, Alan taking her out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and her belly expanding. Alan didn't know where the money in his pocket kept coming from, had npo job or even a sense of place where either of them were sleeping. But he was 100% focused on her eating and didn't care.
One such night, Alicia appeared as though she was three hundred pounds. How she had gained that much weight in about one week, Alan may never know. It sort of defied all laws of logic. Girls don’t gain hundreds in a week, especially on salads, unless it was some sort of poorly conceived fantasy story. Her potbelly strained the buttons of her uniform greatly.
"What is with the uniform?," asked the editor as he laughingly performed his duties, but neither the author or the angel replied.
Alan watched the buttons and prepared himself for one of them to snap later on in the date.
“Honey…I was looking in the mirror today…and I think I might of put on a little weight. What do you think?” she said.
Alan opened his mouth, but then closed it as he observed her body more deeply. Her love handles had grown up so fast, being so large and soft. Her belly sprawled out over her massive thighs, her massive arms holding up a super sized cherubic face with little neck under a double chin. Her breasts alone pushed away most of her fifteen so plates of food she had already eaten. When he spoke, he knew he was using the logical, most polite, way of saying what he knew would help his objective of fattening her up even more so he could be even more aroused than he already was.
“You bet your fat tub of lard ass you've gained weight!”
“Alan…you don’t know how much I needed to hear that,” With that, she ate her sixteenth bowl of salad.
“To think she’s gotten this fat on the salad diet…” Alan muttered to himself, “You’d think McDonalds…or some fast food restaurant.”
“Man…this suit is getting really tight…” Alicia said, spreading her pudgy fingers over her strained buttons.
“They should burst soon.”
A minute or two passed. “Okay, why aren’t they bursting?”
The buttons flew from her shirt. The table was torn apart as Alicia’s flabby stomach and chest rippled out like a tidal wave from her body out onto the table. The buttons smashed straight though Alan’s body. But there was no pain. He felt his wounds seal up as he saw Raziel standing over at him from the bar, drinking a pint.
Another month passed. Alicia was about seven hundred pounds now. Her wide frame was difficult to fit through most convenient doors, but she still found her way to every salad meal. Alan knew it wasn’t a good idea to keep her mobile or else she might lose weight, so he told her one day to stay in bed, and he’d feed her.
“No, Alan, that’s okay! I’ll walk.”
“No, you’ll sit down so that you can gain faster…” Alan said in a calm voice.
“No, that’s really okay!”
“Alright! Screw it! I’m bringing in the chains!”
Alan chained her to the bed now, with Alicia calling back each second, “This really isn’t necessary, ya know!”
“I know. It just makes the scenario more interesting, don’t you think?” Alan tried to seal the chains around her massive wrists. In the end, he resorted to pulling flabs of fat apart (not tearing her soft flesh, just pushing them aside) so he could fit the super sized chains around her.
Another month later, and the chains had been so horribly damaged by her expanding figure that they had been rendered useless. The bedframes had fallen apart to splinters, for none could support Alicia’s metric ton frame. Even her room was becoming too small, and Alan had to climb up her belly like a mountain to reach her misshapen face to feed her.
“Wow…look how much you’ve grown!”
“What’s that?” Alicia shouted, “I can’t hear you! My fat rolls are covering my ears!”
Another month, and the apartment Alan had rented had grown too small. Alicia had crushed it with her massive weight gain, and she saved everyone in the apartment’s life by eating away all the debris. After so much salad it tasted rather different and she needed cariety. Alan survived because he had hidden himself with her soft, comfortable rolls.
Soon, the entire city of New York had gotten to small, and Alicia had crushed the very island with her weight. Fortunately the 9/11 inspired evacuation plan was in place and the population escaped. Alan realized that he had the power, with Alicia’s super massive fatness, to conquer the world! However the current and immediate past mayors of NYC were taking up too much TV time out-claiming each other for the success ofthe evacuation for Alan to get any coverage.
And then, the last thing he remembered, Alicia ate him by accident when she was chewing up Chuck Norris.
Part E – The Aftermath
Alan woke up in the middle of a hospital. An old man with a large beard was smiling down at him, “You are lucky to be alive, son. After an accident like that…”
“Raziel…?”
“I’m afraid you are still delirious…”
“Where’s Alicia?”
“Who?”
“We had such a great time together!”
“What are you blabbering about, son?”
“And then there was that rush—!”
“Young man, shut up as I try explaining what happened to you!”
The man was dressed in the garb of a hospital doctor and had the title Surgery on his smock.
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, we removed a massive tumor in your brain.”
“There was a tumor in my brain?”
“Yes. It caused you to have, excuse me, uncontrolled sexual pleasure while watching women eat.”
“Uh…maybe?”
“Alright, sir, now you only have controllable exterior symptoms of sexual pleasure while watching women eat.”
“Do I still get horny?”
“Uh…yes…”
“THANK GOODNESS!!!”
“And you also now had, before, an IQ equivilant of a Mongolian Spider.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Now, you have the equivalent intelligence of a Beluga Whale, which is a very good thing.”
“What’s a Beluga?”
“Sorry, I read the wrong word. That’s what we believe you will now be sexually aroused by.…I mean the intelligence equivalence of a crocodile. That, I’m afraid, is still inferior to any human being known to mankind.”
“Oh…that’s cool…”
“I am sorry, but you will never be the same again…”
He was right. After leaving the hospital, Alan actually managed to find a girl who he could turn fat. She was totally useless for any other purpose, even doing cooking at housework or carrying onm an intelligent conversation , but Alan didn't care. He had never been happier in his life!
The End
(Author' Comment: Corny ending, but the entire story is corny anyway!)
(OK,we can agree on that. But if you're going to use palabras de espanol, even in parody, por favor spell them correctly. Gracias. - ed)
