I know that in the end, a person's self-image comes from within, and I can only really try to be one voice in the world telling him I think he's handsome and sexy. But what frustrates and saddens me is that he completely and totally believes me when I say those things - but also believes that for mos practical purposes, I'm almost the only woman in the world who doesn't find his looks terribly unattractive. He's never self conscious naked in bed, but often hates looking at himself dressed in a mirror. It's gotten especially bad lately because he's put on weight recently and most of the shirts he loves best don't fit properly anymore.
I'm afraid I've made things more difficult for him, because after he recently encouraged me to be completely honest with him about what turns me on, he's now seen some of my preferred porn, and he's sort of more playful about knowing that I love how fat he looks. He insists that he loves that I love his size, but I worry that the more he believes I'm turned on by his belly, the less he believes he could ever be viewed as anything but repulsive by "normal" women. That was part of why it took so long for me to be fully open with him about my fantasies and desires - I didn't want to complicate his self esteem this way.
What makes things worse is that we have a relationship where sexual encounters with other people are open to negotiation if we're both comfortable with the individual third person in question, and I've had multiple people interested in that, while he's had only one, over a year ago.
Any words of wisdom, men of the BHM section and the folks who love them?
I'm afraid I've made things more difficult for him, because after he recently encouraged me to be completely honest with him about what turns me on, he's now seen some of my preferred porn, and he's sort of more playful about knowing that I love how fat he looks. He insists that he loves that I love his size, but I worry that the more he believes I'm turned on by his belly, the less he believes he could ever be viewed as anything but repulsive by "normal" women. That was part of why it took so long for me to be fully open with him about my fantasies and desires - I didn't want to complicate his self esteem this way.
What makes things worse is that we have a relationship where sexual encounters with other people are open to negotiation if we're both comfortable with the individual third person in question, and I've had multiple people interested in that, while he's had only one, over a year ago.
Any words of wisdom, men of the BHM section and the folks who love them?
