I have been on here again the passed few days. I had told myself I wasn't going to come back onto dimensions because I felt very insecure. But I am back, because without the help of others, I cannot gain the weight I am attempting to gain.
Back story: I have an incredible boyfriend. I love him very much. We have been together nearly three years and we have had our share of ups and downs. Still, I know he is the man for me... i love him.:wubu:
He likes big beautiful women. And I won't lie, after spending a lifetime of being told that big was NOT beautiful, I was not quick to understand where he was coming from. However, after thinking about it, I have realized that a person's outward appearance A) shouldn't matter so long as they felt good (and my boyfriends love makes me feel good) and B) is beautiful in all forms.
I am at a point now where I feel bad about myself no matter where I go and who I look at. Out of habit I feel self conscious next to the skinny Maxim cover model type girl. Out of knowledge of what my boyfriend likes, I feel terrible when I walk by a heavy set girl.
I want to gain weight. At first I thought, oh ten or fifteen pounds added was "big" for me. But over time I have realized I want to be larger.
Currently I am 3 weeks away from having our second son. So I have tried to gain weight but can only do so much while still being sure the baby is healthy.
Still, I feel so discouraged. Why can't I be a girl who gains weight without this hassle? I try to enjoy over eating, but it is difficult- my body is used to eating until it is full and then stopping. And even besides that, I have always been a nibbler. I take a bite and then leave for a while before I come back for another. I don't know what to do.
I feel so unattractive to him and really, I might be. When I met him i was fluctuating between 103-118 pounds at 5'4". Now I weigh 168, but it needs to be remembered that I am pregnant... I don't want to have my number go down when the baby gets here. I just feel so terrible. I want a large chest, butt, legs, you name it... But I can't even begin.
What can someone with a serious metabolism do to gain weight? I just don't think I can do this alone... and all I keep reading is that some people just are not capable of being big because their bodies are built to be thin.
I want to be pretty, in the eyes of my boyfriend. And then I will feel pretty in my own eyes. Any suggestions for maintaining and increasing my weight after the baby? For doing so without covering my body in stretchmarks? To feel less awful now while I can't seem to make the progress I really and genuinely wish inside I could be making?
OT: this might be the wrong place to post this. Sorry if that be the case. I haven't quite found my way around on here since being back the last couple of days.:doh:
Back story: I have an incredible boyfriend. I love him very much. We have been together nearly three years and we have had our share of ups and downs. Still, I know he is the man for me... i love him.:wubu:
He likes big beautiful women. And I won't lie, after spending a lifetime of being told that big was NOT beautiful, I was not quick to understand where he was coming from. However, after thinking about it, I have realized that a person's outward appearance A) shouldn't matter so long as they felt good (and my boyfriends love makes me feel good) and B) is beautiful in all forms.
I am at a point now where I feel bad about myself no matter where I go and who I look at. Out of habit I feel self conscious next to the skinny Maxim cover model type girl. Out of knowledge of what my boyfriend likes, I feel terrible when I walk by a heavy set girl.
I want to gain weight. At first I thought, oh ten or fifteen pounds added was "big" for me. But over time I have realized I want to be larger.
Currently I am 3 weeks away from having our second son. So I have tried to gain weight but can only do so much while still being sure the baby is healthy.
Still, I feel so discouraged. Why can't I be a girl who gains weight without this hassle? I try to enjoy over eating, but it is difficult- my body is used to eating until it is full and then stopping. And even besides that, I have always been a nibbler. I take a bite and then leave for a while before I come back for another. I don't know what to do.
I feel so unattractive to him and really, I might be. When I met him i was fluctuating between 103-118 pounds at 5'4". Now I weigh 168, but it needs to be remembered that I am pregnant... I don't want to have my number go down when the baby gets here. I just feel so terrible. I want a large chest, butt, legs, you name it... But I can't even begin.
What can someone with a serious metabolism do to gain weight? I just don't think I can do this alone... and all I keep reading is that some people just are not capable of being big because their bodies are built to be thin.
I want to be pretty, in the eyes of my boyfriend. And then I will feel pretty in my own eyes. Any suggestions for maintaining and increasing my weight after the baby? For doing so without covering my body in stretchmarks? To feel less awful now while I can't seem to make the progress I really and genuinely wish inside I could be making?
OT: this might be the wrong place to post this. Sorry if that be the case. I haven't quite found my way around on here since being back the last couple of days.:doh:
