Her: "OK, I'm going to show you some of the things I thought I'd wear to the show. Sit down and give me your opinions. As a matter of fact, close your eyes. I bought a new dress I want to show first. OK, open them!".
Me: "Wowww! That's beautiful! Really sexy! I like that!"
Her: "But not slutty, right?"
Me: "Of course not! It's perfect!"
Her: "OK, now how about this. This new skirt with this blouse you always liked".
Me: "Great skirt! It goes great with that top! Yes, I say you should wear that to the show".
Her: "It shows my cleavage pretty nicely without looking tawdry don't you think?".
Me: "I totally agree. Very nice. I like them".
Her: "OK, now how about this?".
Me: "Hmmmm...I don't really like that skirt".
Her: "What? Why??".
Me: "At least not for this event.".
Her: "What do you mean you don't like this skirt? Why not??".
Me: "It looks like a...a scrub dress.".
Her: "What's a scrub dress??"
Me: "I dunno. A dress someone would wear scrubbing pots 'n' pans".
Her: "You don't think it looks good with this top?".
Me: "Not really. Just my opinion.".
Her: "Well I like it. And I know a lot of people have complimented me on this skirt. And besides, I'm not going to this fair as a sexy fashion plate. I'm dressing for comfort. It's going to be hot and I want to be dressed to stay cool. And besides, I think it's perfect for this pink top".
OK, now is it me or does anyone else see the humor/angst in this exchange?
This is a great example of why men are different than women. Women want to know the harsh ugly truth. They DEMAND the harsh ugly truth. Even if you tell them there's information out there in the universe that will cause great chaos and dissension they will still demand to know what it is. But then when you finally tell them that info' it totally ruins their day and they're pissed at you for ruining their day! This especially comes into play when your friends are involved.
"What did he say about the stew I made??".
"He liked it"
"You're lying sweetheart. What did he say about it? He barely finished his serving".
"Maybe he wasn't hungry."
"Tell me the truth. Did he say something about the stew?"
"Well, he said he thought it could use more seasoning".
"What??? How rude! Actually, it's typical of him. He's used to burritos and corn dogs, isn't he?"
"Uhh...".
"Well, I guess that's what I should make for him next time instead of going out of my way with something nice".
No, that wasn't a real exchange I had with anyone I've known, but it's an example of why sometimes it actually pays to lie. This has been a bone of contention in my life for some time. Truth, by far, is the key factor to a solid relationship. It's imparative. But then you're faced with, say, the above situation. Do you tell the truth and have a lovely evening go sour and have them think ill thoughts of your friend and his/her dining pallete, or do you lie and keep the night joyous and have your sweety continue having wonderful thoughts about your dear friends?
Women demand the truth be it ugly or nice, but I've noticed harmony is maintained when certain lies are told ("Be honest, do I look my age?" "No"). I'm certainly not saying women don't also fib to keep their men happy, but it just doesn't seem to be the nature of the guy to suss out potentially explosive truths ("Working out at the gym is finally giving me those Bruce Lee biceps I've wanted, don't you think dear?"). There's no way I can believe a relationship can sustain if one or both parties let every little ugly truth see the light of day!
This is a gross generalization (as is this entire post) but I just think we men are wired to want to AVOID conflict and stress at any and all costs. If a woman sends out clues that there's catty badness in the air that involves us, we men just don't really want to persue it. If someone tell me they have some bad news that doesn't necessarilly have to be shared, I won't hesitate to tell them I choose the "don't tell me" option. If I can avoided a "stress bullet" that would probably sting me all day long, I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it. Some women can sniff out bad news like a blood hound and persue it until the awful ugly news is revealed leaving her angry and/or sad for the rest of the day!
I just feel we guys don't need to hear bad news about ourselves--unless it directly affects our lives. We of course will persue bad news if it's something we believe is adversely affecting our beloved SO's. If we sense our loved-ones are sad or angry for any reason, it's manditory we find out why and try our best to remedy the situation. And that's another example how our genders are often wired differently. Many (not all!!) women will show signs that they're dissatisfied with their men and those signs usually manifest themselves in near-reticence or one syllable responses to your questions.
"How was your day, dear?"
"Fine.".
"Get any good mail?"
"No".
Where as we guys tend to ball up things until the anger turns into resentment and then we'll let it unfurl on the unsuspecting woman without her ever seeing it coming! As irksome and blatant as the ol' silent treatment can be, it's certainly a MUCH wiser way of airing one's greivances than balling it all inside for months on end and letting it all loose at once. No wonder women live longer!
And women read into things!! God, do they read into things!!! A comment coming from someone at a party will seem TOTALLY harmless to us guys where as woman can read an entire novel into that SAME person's intentions!! A guy could say "I'm just going to sit in my room and read" and it's not too uncommon for a woman to think "Is he mad at me?". How many times have you taken a day or two to not respond to an email and if it's from a woman, she'll email later and say "Did I say something in my last email to offend you?", but if it's an email from a guy that you haven't responded to, he'll email back later and say "Dude! Respond to your fucking email!". But I know this is often all summed up to the fact women have more sensitive and stronger emotions than many of us fellows do. It's definitely a trait we men often sorely lack and sorely need.
This was definitely a stream-of-consciousness and poorly planned post that came out of left field. But believe me when I say it was born out of unbelievable admiration and endearment towards every person of the opposite sex I've ever known and loved. I know being even slightly critical against an entire gender is considered social suicide, but hopefully we all agree there's distinctive differences between our sexes. I couldn't even begin to stack up the personality flaws of us men and the monumental disasters those flaws have put upon this earth since the beginning of humankind. So yeah, I hope this post will be taken in the "un-heavy" context it was intended to.
Me: "Wowww! That's beautiful! Really sexy! I like that!"
Her: "But not slutty, right?"
Me: "Of course not! It's perfect!"
Her: "OK, now how about this. This new skirt with this blouse you always liked".
Me: "Great skirt! It goes great with that top! Yes, I say you should wear that to the show".
Her: "It shows my cleavage pretty nicely without looking tawdry don't you think?".
Me: "I totally agree. Very nice. I like them".
Her: "OK, now how about this?".
Me: "Hmmmm...I don't really like that skirt".
Her: "What? Why??".
Me: "At least not for this event.".
Her: "What do you mean you don't like this skirt? Why not??".
Me: "It looks like a...a scrub dress.".
Her: "What's a scrub dress??"
Me: "I dunno. A dress someone would wear scrubbing pots 'n' pans".
Her: "You don't think it looks good with this top?".
Me: "Not really. Just my opinion.".
Her: "Well I like it. And I know a lot of people have complimented me on this skirt. And besides, I'm not going to this fair as a sexy fashion plate. I'm dressing for comfort. It's going to be hot and I want to be dressed to stay cool. And besides, I think it's perfect for this pink top".
OK, now is it me or does anyone else see the humor/angst in this exchange?
This is a great example of why men are different than women. Women want to know the harsh ugly truth. They DEMAND the harsh ugly truth. Even if you tell them there's information out there in the universe that will cause great chaos and dissension they will still demand to know what it is. But then when you finally tell them that info' it totally ruins their day and they're pissed at you for ruining their day! This especially comes into play when your friends are involved.
"What did he say about the stew I made??".
"He liked it"
"You're lying sweetheart. What did he say about it? He barely finished his serving".
"Maybe he wasn't hungry."
"Tell me the truth. Did he say something about the stew?"
"Well, he said he thought it could use more seasoning".
"What??? How rude! Actually, it's typical of him. He's used to burritos and corn dogs, isn't he?"
"Uhh...".
"Well, I guess that's what I should make for him next time instead of going out of my way with something nice".
No, that wasn't a real exchange I had with anyone I've known, but it's an example of why sometimes it actually pays to lie. This has been a bone of contention in my life for some time. Truth, by far, is the key factor to a solid relationship. It's imparative. But then you're faced with, say, the above situation. Do you tell the truth and have a lovely evening go sour and have them think ill thoughts of your friend and his/her dining pallete, or do you lie and keep the night joyous and have your sweety continue having wonderful thoughts about your dear friends?
Women demand the truth be it ugly or nice, but I've noticed harmony is maintained when certain lies are told ("Be honest, do I look my age?" "No"). I'm certainly not saying women don't also fib to keep their men happy, but it just doesn't seem to be the nature of the guy to suss out potentially explosive truths ("Working out at the gym is finally giving me those Bruce Lee biceps I've wanted, don't you think dear?"). There's no way I can believe a relationship can sustain if one or both parties let every little ugly truth see the light of day!
This is a gross generalization (as is this entire post) but I just think we men are wired to want to AVOID conflict and stress at any and all costs. If a woman sends out clues that there's catty badness in the air that involves us, we men just don't really want to persue it. If someone tell me they have some bad news that doesn't necessarilly have to be shared, I won't hesitate to tell them I choose the "don't tell me" option. If I can avoided a "stress bullet" that would probably sting me all day long, I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it. Some women can sniff out bad news like a blood hound and persue it until the awful ugly news is revealed leaving her angry and/or sad for the rest of the day!
I just feel we guys don't need to hear bad news about ourselves--unless it directly affects our lives. We of course will persue bad news if it's something we believe is adversely affecting our beloved SO's. If we sense our loved-ones are sad or angry for any reason, it's manditory we find out why and try our best to remedy the situation. And that's another example how our genders are often wired differently. Many (not all!!) women will show signs that they're dissatisfied with their men and those signs usually manifest themselves in near-reticence or one syllable responses to your questions.
"How was your day, dear?"
"Fine.".
"Get any good mail?"
"No".
Where as we guys tend to ball up things until the anger turns into resentment and then we'll let it unfurl on the unsuspecting woman without her ever seeing it coming! As irksome and blatant as the ol' silent treatment can be, it's certainly a MUCH wiser way of airing one's greivances than balling it all inside for months on end and letting it all loose at once. No wonder women live longer!
And women read into things!! God, do they read into things!!! A comment coming from someone at a party will seem TOTALLY harmless to us guys where as woman can read an entire novel into that SAME person's intentions!! A guy could say "I'm just going to sit in my room and read" and it's not too uncommon for a woman to think "Is he mad at me?". How many times have you taken a day or two to not respond to an email and if it's from a woman, she'll email later and say "Did I say something in my last email to offend you?", but if it's an email from a guy that you haven't responded to, he'll email back later and say "Dude! Respond to your fucking email!". But I know this is often all summed up to the fact women have more sensitive and stronger emotions than many of us fellows do. It's definitely a trait we men often sorely lack and sorely need.
This was definitely a stream-of-consciousness and poorly planned post that came out of left field. But believe me when I say it was born out of unbelievable admiration and endearment towards every person of the opposite sex I've ever known and loved. I know being even slightly critical against an entire gender is considered social suicide, but hopefully we all agree there's distinctive differences between our sexes. I couldn't even begin to stack up the personality flaws of us men and the monumental disasters those flaws have put upon this earth since the beginning of humankind. So yeah, I hope this post will be taken in the "un-heavy" context it was intended to.
