At the risk of being drummed out of the community, I am going to express some feelings and pose a question to others that may feel the same way from time to time. I recall reading threads in the past posted in the form of a question, "If you could take a pill and be slender, would you take it?". This was posed more than once I believe in one form or another. I recall the responses from some of the women being surprising given that there is a known appreciative group. There were some that stated that given everything they now know, they would take such a pill in a minute. Physical limitations, societal pressures, and health issues were given as the reasons. All real and valid concerns. Some were in committed relationships, others were not and looking, some were not looking. Of course there were those that were perfectly fine and happy right where they were and wouldn't have it any other way.
I will present the same question again but with a twist.
If a pill were available that would strip out one's FA'ness, would you take it?
Please bear in mind that I'm not talking about becoming anti-fat or bigoted in some way. I am talking about being completely neutral on the preference. It simply wouldn't matter to you that fat, thin, athletic, etc there would be no pre-disposition to where your attentions would lie or wander to. All appreciating. I know that there are those out there that are this way already and appreciate all types. Naturally I am also assuming that when it comes to relationships, that it is the whole person we take into account and not just their physical appearance to us.
The question I suppose is more directed at those who find themselves more distracted by the exclusiveness of their pre-programming or wiring. We may not be able to find a suitable partner to our liking because we limit our focus and view to what is immediately "attractive" to us. Anyone who doesn't fit the physical pre-sort fades into the background and isn't considered or even seen.
Others may find themselves in a committed relationship with someone who wasn't their physical ideal, but shared other qualities that they thought would make up the difference.
Or possibly were in an ideal situation but circumstances led to physical change (dramatic weight-loss) that might bring into question the strength of that union that held just one aspect in a place of inflated importance.
Sometimes I feel that life was simpler before I knew that such a thing as FA's existed. I had some feelings that were strange and inconsistent with anyone else I knew. I thought I was probably alone with this fascination for fat and told no one. The few times I did share it in confidence it was not met in a positive way. There were no magazines, Internet or anything else around that might suggest I was not alone. So I tried to ignore it and mostly succeeded. It wasn't until way after marriage that I realized that what I had felt from the age of 4 was not only more common than I thought, but also someone even found a name to give it to identify the type.
Then came the Internet. The community was easily found with simple searches. There were not only discussions, but also eventually pictures to remind us of what we were missing. There was some easily attained validation and satisfaction. But it did not represent my reality. It is readily available yet mockingly distant. Reading that others are happily engaged in open FA/BBW/BHM relationships makes me happy for them but leaves me more than a little jealous. I feel considerable guilt about it. It just shouldn't be. I SHOULD be thanking God everyday for what I have and the woman who puts up with me. We are soul mates in so many ways but I still find myself venturing almost daily to the web, this forum, or other visual distractions in real life (the pretty young fat woman in the office who has grown so rotund over the years she looks as though she may POP any day). My wife knows about and accepts my webbing. She has tried, to her credit, to entertain some of my fascinations once in a while but it really isnt her thing and I feel bad that she has gained a few pounds over the years because she really is unhappy with it and she does have some health concerns. This has happened inexplicably in spite of her former exercise regimen and has taken an emotional toll on her too. I worry about her and am commited to staying together with her.
I am drawn to the web simply to inject a little bit of 'Oz into my Kansas' but feel considerable guilt for doing so at times. I really wish I could put it all out of my mind but there is always a nagging need that it is nearly impossible for me to ignore. It seems harder and harder as I get older. I have tried unsuccessfully to stay off the web but have failed time and time again. It fills a void but I feel that I could be so much more productive without it. At home and on the job. At times I feel this "distraction" that keeps me going also seems to be the very thing that keeps me from moving on.
I would take such a pill. In a heartbeat.
Brian
I will present the same question again but with a twist.
If a pill were available that would strip out one's FA'ness, would you take it?
Please bear in mind that I'm not talking about becoming anti-fat or bigoted in some way. I am talking about being completely neutral on the preference. It simply wouldn't matter to you that fat, thin, athletic, etc there would be no pre-disposition to where your attentions would lie or wander to. All appreciating. I know that there are those out there that are this way already and appreciate all types. Naturally I am also assuming that when it comes to relationships, that it is the whole person we take into account and not just their physical appearance to us.
The question I suppose is more directed at those who find themselves more distracted by the exclusiveness of their pre-programming or wiring. We may not be able to find a suitable partner to our liking because we limit our focus and view to what is immediately "attractive" to us. Anyone who doesn't fit the physical pre-sort fades into the background and isn't considered or even seen.
Others may find themselves in a committed relationship with someone who wasn't their physical ideal, but shared other qualities that they thought would make up the difference.
Or possibly were in an ideal situation but circumstances led to physical change (dramatic weight-loss) that might bring into question the strength of that union that held just one aspect in a place of inflated importance.
Sometimes I feel that life was simpler before I knew that such a thing as FA's existed. I had some feelings that were strange and inconsistent with anyone else I knew. I thought I was probably alone with this fascination for fat and told no one. The few times I did share it in confidence it was not met in a positive way. There were no magazines, Internet or anything else around that might suggest I was not alone. So I tried to ignore it and mostly succeeded. It wasn't until way after marriage that I realized that what I had felt from the age of 4 was not only more common than I thought, but also someone even found a name to give it to identify the type.
Then came the Internet. The community was easily found with simple searches. There were not only discussions, but also eventually pictures to remind us of what we were missing. There was some easily attained validation and satisfaction. But it did not represent my reality. It is readily available yet mockingly distant. Reading that others are happily engaged in open FA/BBW/BHM relationships makes me happy for them but leaves me more than a little jealous. I feel considerable guilt about it. It just shouldn't be. I SHOULD be thanking God everyday for what I have and the woman who puts up with me. We are soul mates in so many ways but I still find myself venturing almost daily to the web, this forum, or other visual distractions in real life (the pretty young fat woman in the office who has grown so rotund over the years she looks as though she may POP any day). My wife knows about and accepts my webbing. She has tried, to her credit, to entertain some of my fascinations once in a while but it really isnt her thing and I feel bad that she has gained a few pounds over the years because she really is unhappy with it and she does have some health concerns. This has happened inexplicably in spite of her former exercise regimen and has taken an emotional toll on her too. I worry about her and am commited to staying together with her.
I am drawn to the web simply to inject a little bit of 'Oz into my Kansas' but feel considerable guilt for doing so at times. I really wish I could put it all out of my mind but there is always a nagging need that it is nearly impossible for me to ignore. It seems harder and harder as I get older. I have tried unsuccessfully to stay off the web but have failed time and time again. It fills a void but I feel that I could be so much more productive without it. At home and on the job. At times I feel this "distraction" that keeps me going also seems to be the very thing that keeps me from moving on.
I would take such a pill. In a heartbeat.
Brian
