mscurvalicious
Member
First time poster - how exciting! I've been lingering for a few months now and can I just preface this post by saying how grateful I am that a supportive, wonderful community like this exists out there in the world 
i've learnt so much since joining, as a 25 year old woman, I only wish I had discovered Dims earlier! Also, sorry if i've started this thread in the wrong place, still figuring out the dims world...
I have a situation that I would appreciate advice on and it would be generally great to hear of your story if it echo's this situation i've recently encountered..
One of my closest and oldest friends, M, has recently started changing his behaviour drastically around me.. For the past two years, he has lived overseas so the dynamic of our relationship has changed (we lived together during university so for a few years there, I would see him every day - and we sort of became like brother and sister for the most part). Now, we email a fair bit and when he has come back to Australia for a visit, we would hang out. The past three times he has come back, he has been super flirty, for the first twelve months he was away, I was in an on-again-off-again relationship with a guy I didn't really have strong feelings for but who was lovely. During this time, M would say things like 'you can't marry him', 'what do you see in him anyway' etc. Which I initially took to mean M just didn't think much of him (but i've since thought more about those comments and wonder if it fits within this new behaviour..) Anyway, the relationship ended for the last time and I've been single since..
The last time M visited, I could feel that he was (at the very least) interested in us becoming more than friends but I was super scared - all of his past girlfriends have been very, very petite (he is slim himself which I happen to find attractive) and he has never been with a BBW (as far as i'm aware anyway).. I had a crush on M years ago but he was in a relationship at the time so I got over it pretty quickly. Nothing happened that night, I tried my best to ignore his advances mostly because I was much too terrified that if we got together and he didn't like my fatness, it would ruin our friendship forever (me being super sensitive and proud also, I know that there's no way we would be able to continue being close after I had been physically and emotionally rejected by him) and partially because I still wasn't sure if it was just me feeling excited that he was back and showing me attention or whether he genuinely had developed feelings for me.
To complicate things, i'm almost certain his brother is an FA.. Without knowing me very well, he consistently goes in for a hello greeting with one hand on my tummy and the other on my hip (very strange, I know!) His brother has also stated that I would be his 'ideal' girlfriend (again without knowing me very well) but I feel absolutely no attraction to him and have managed to indicate that I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now.. His brother is often stating how alike him and M are and that leaves me wondering whether fatness appreciation could be genetic?!!? And whether M has been a fat appreciator this whole time, right under my own nose..
I should also add in that i've never been with someone who has openly admired my fat and while i'm at the stage where I am confident in my own skin, i'm still super duper wary of being hurt/vulnerable, as is everyone of course but it means I could never make the first move. I'm physically incapable of it!
I'm sure this has already been covered; I'd imagine this situation has arisen many times before, but i'd really love to hear some of your stories about close friends turning into lovers and how it came to light that feelings had developed between the two of you.. And also, if things turned sour, whether you were able to regenerate the friendship. Any advice about what you think I should do would also be appreciated - i've reached an impasse with my internal decision making process and therefore need some prodding from someone wise
Thanks so much in advance for being fabulous, Dims peeps :bow:
i've learnt so much since joining, as a 25 year old woman, I only wish I had discovered Dims earlier! Also, sorry if i've started this thread in the wrong place, still figuring out the dims world... I have a situation that I would appreciate advice on and it would be generally great to hear of your story if it echo's this situation i've recently encountered..
One of my closest and oldest friends, M, has recently started changing his behaviour drastically around me.. For the past two years, he has lived overseas so the dynamic of our relationship has changed (we lived together during university so for a few years there, I would see him every day - and we sort of became like brother and sister for the most part). Now, we email a fair bit and when he has come back to Australia for a visit, we would hang out. The past three times he has come back, he has been super flirty, for the first twelve months he was away, I was in an on-again-off-again relationship with a guy I didn't really have strong feelings for but who was lovely. During this time, M would say things like 'you can't marry him', 'what do you see in him anyway' etc. Which I initially took to mean M just didn't think much of him (but i've since thought more about those comments and wonder if it fits within this new behaviour..) Anyway, the relationship ended for the last time and I've been single since..
The last time M visited, I could feel that he was (at the very least) interested in us becoming more than friends but I was super scared - all of his past girlfriends have been very, very petite (he is slim himself which I happen to find attractive) and he has never been with a BBW (as far as i'm aware anyway).. I had a crush on M years ago but he was in a relationship at the time so I got over it pretty quickly. Nothing happened that night, I tried my best to ignore his advances mostly because I was much too terrified that if we got together and he didn't like my fatness, it would ruin our friendship forever (me being super sensitive and proud also, I know that there's no way we would be able to continue being close after I had been physically and emotionally rejected by him) and partially because I still wasn't sure if it was just me feeling excited that he was back and showing me attention or whether he genuinely had developed feelings for me.
To complicate things, i'm almost certain his brother is an FA.. Without knowing me very well, he consistently goes in for a hello greeting with one hand on my tummy and the other on my hip (very strange, I know!) His brother has also stated that I would be his 'ideal' girlfriend (again without knowing me very well) but I feel absolutely no attraction to him and have managed to indicate that I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now.. His brother is often stating how alike him and M are and that leaves me wondering whether fatness appreciation could be genetic?!!? And whether M has been a fat appreciator this whole time, right under my own nose..
I should also add in that i've never been with someone who has openly admired my fat and while i'm at the stage where I am confident in my own skin, i'm still super duper wary of being hurt/vulnerable, as is everyone of course but it means I could never make the first move. I'm physically incapable of it!
I'm sure this has already been covered; I'd imagine this situation has arisen many times before, but i'd really love to hear some of your stories about close friends turning into lovers and how it came to light that feelings had developed between the two of you.. And also, if things turned sour, whether you were able to regenerate the friendship. Any advice about what you think I should do would also be appreciated - i've reached an impasse with my internal decision making process and therefore need some prodding from someone wise
Thanks so much in advance for being fabulous, Dims peeps :bow:
