I currently find myself serving as a caregiver for a parent who had a very brutal cancer surgery a couple weeks ago. It involves taking care of a new tracheostomy and helping with G-tube feedings (including crushing and administering medicines through the tube), as well as random other things throughout the day (cleaning various medical equipments we use, preparing solutions, etc.).
Since this is so new, there needs a competent caregiver around 24/7 (for a few weeks anyway), and luckily I have another relative who is currently unemployed, lives nearby, and is able to help with this (the spouse lives there too, but isn't really competent to do a lot of the more technical or delicate types of care needed). I live about 2 hours away, so I stay at my parent's house for several days, then go home for a few days while the other relative comes over, and then I come back.
Though some healing has definitely happened since the surgery, and there have been some encouraging moments of lightness, this has been extremely hard. Emotionally, it's just hard to see someone you love go through such pain and difficulty. Also, it's almost impossible to find time for the work and things I need to do for my own life (luckily my part-time job is flexible in terms of hours so I can put those in when I am up at home, but finding time to write the first chapter of my dissertation as a full-time grad student has been almost impossible - and it's due in a month). I have a wonderful support network of friends - but they are all 2 hours away when I am staying at my parent's house. So it's lonely, and truly exhausting.
Since I'm still relatively young, most of my friends haven't had to go through this, so I don't have many people to draw from in terms of wisdom or tips or encouragement - or just general resources available. My friends are great at listening and supporting me, but they just don't have the kind of insight that is born only of experience.
So I'm just wondering if others have gone through similar experiences, particularly of medical caregiving for a close relative (or any kind of caregiving, really), and what helped you to make it through - and to cope, and to take care of yourself, and to not lose your mind.
Since this is so new, there needs a competent caregiver around 24/7 (for a few weeks anyway), and luckily I have another relative who is currently unemployed, lives nearby, and is able to help with this (the spouse lives there too, but isn't really competent to do a lot of the more technical or delicate types of care needed). I live about 2 hours away, so I stay at my parent's house for several days, then go home for a few days while the other relative comes over, and then I come back.
Though some healing has definitely happened since the surgery, and there have been some encouraging moments of lightness, this has been extremely hard. Emotionally, it's just hard to see someone you love go through such pain and difficulty. Also, it's almost impossible to find time for the work and things I need to do for my own life (luckily my part-time job is flexible in terms of hours so I can put those in when I am up at home, but finding time to write the first chapter of my dissertation as a full-time grad student has been almost impossible - and it's due in a month). I have a wonderful support network of friends - but they are all 2 hours away when I am staying at my parent's house. So it's lonely, and truly exhausting.
Since I'm still relatively young, most of my friends haven't had to go through this, so I don't have many people to draw from in terms of wisdom or tips or encouragement - or just general resources available. My friends are great at listening and supporting me, but they just don't have the kind of insight that is born only of experience.
So I'm just wondering if others have gone through similar experiences, particularly of medical caregiving for a close relative (or any kind of caregiving, really), and what helped you to make it through - and to cope, and to take care of yourself, and to not lose your mind.
