moore2me
Lions don't need to spank
In the last month I have found myself involuntarily thrust into a job as caretaker for my mom. I love mom and would do anything I could to help her, but I honestly have trouble taking care of myself - a full time job. Mom has always been the strong element in our family and watching her rapid decline, especially in the last few months, fills me with dread and unrest.
What brought about starting this thread, is a Fireman called me at 5 AM this morning and woke me up. He said, his station had an emergency call this morning from mom, who was up early making coffee and all of a sudden became dizzy, felt faint, and could barely walk. He said they were taking her to a hospital and we could meet them there. Now I must add that almost the same thing happened a week ago and I got another call from another Fireman saying mom had fell in her house. She called them to get her up and they were taking her to the emergency room. They said we could meet them at the ER. This time it was 10 PM.
Mom has three kids - I live the closest (an hour away). My two brothers both live about 2-3 hours away.Both boys help, but they are not always home - they travel for a living. A small area of conflict is that mom respects their opinion more than she does mine. She will often poo-poo my advice and at the same time treats advice from the boys like words from God.
A few more things clouding the caretaking task. Mom is profoundly hard of hearing. She if just about deaf due to heavy antibiotics used on her years ago. Mom also is becoming very forgetful. Lately, she is making several phone calls to me & saying the same thing each time. She forgets that we have talked 15 minutes ago. Last week she called three times within an hour and told me the exact same thing each time. I hope she is not getting Alzheimer's - her sister died from this brain eating syndrome 2 years ago - it was not a pretty process.
So far, mom refuses to leave her home and go to assisted living. She is still living alone (my father died almost 20 years ago). She has expressed a wish to die rather than be confined to her bed, where her quality of life would be unbearable.
I have been shang-hi'ed and forced to ride this roller coaster. I do not like the ride and am not ready for where it's going. I would appreciate words of wisdom from others here who have already gone thru this end of life process with their parent(s) and can give me suggestions that will help my burden and make mom's a little easier (if possible).
Also, others should feel free to add their current (or past) problems in the same area along with my story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The plot thickens . . . .
P.S. And if mom wasn't enough to deal with, my husband's older brother is also in rapid mental and physical decline due to a stroke and a couple of unfortunate accidents. He wants (and needs) to go into an assisted living facility or a nursing home. He keeps calling hubby asking for assistance in doing this. The problem is the brother has a wife who refuses to admit him and insists on keeping brother-in-law at home, under "house arrest", and will not agree to turn him over to another facility for Aging.
What brought about starting this thread, is a Fireman called me at 5 AM this morning and woke me up. He said, his station had an emergency call this morning from mom, who was up early making coffee and all of a sudden became dizzy, felt faint, and could barely walk. He said they were taking her to a hospital and we could meet them there. Now I must add that almost the same thing happened a week ago and I got another call from another Fireman saying mom had fell in her house. She called them to get her up and they were taking her to the emergency room. They said we could meet them at the ER. This time it was 10 PM.
Mom has three kids - I live the closest (an hour away). My two brothers both live about 2-3 hours away.Both boys help, but they are not always home - they travel for a living. A small area of conflict is that mom respects their opinion more than she does mine. She will often poo-poo my advice and at the same time treats advice from the boys like words from God.
A few more things clouding the caretaking task. Mom is profoundly hard of hearing. She if just about deaf due to heavy antibiotics used on her years ago. Mom also is becoming very forgetful. Lately, she is making several phone calls to me & saying the same thing each time. She forgets that we have talked 15 minutes ago. Last week she called three times within an hour and told me the exact same thing each time. I hope she is not getting Alzheimer's - her sister died from this brain eating syndrome 2 years ago - it was not a pretty process.
So far, mom refuses to leave her home and go to assisted living. She is still living alone (my father died almost 20 years ago). She has expressed a wish to die rather than be confined to her bed, where her quality of life would be unbearable.
I have been shang-hi'ed and forced to ride this roller coaster. I do not like the ride and am not ready for where it's going. I would appreciate words of wisdom from others here who have already gone thru this end of life process with their parent(s) and can give me suggestions that will help my burden and make mom's a little easier (if possible).
Also, others should feel free to add their current (or past) problems in the same area along with my story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The plot thickens . . . .
P.S. And if mom wasn't enough to deal with, my husband's older brother is also in rapid mental and physical decline due to a stroke and a couple of unfortunate accidents. He wants (and needs) to go into an assisted living facility or a nursing home. He keeps calling hubby asking for assistance in doing this. The problem is the brother has a wife who refuses to admit him and insists on keeping brother-in-law at home, under "house arrest", and will not agree to turn him over to another facility for Aging.
