superodalisque
Well-Known Member
what is the essential element that differs between people who are content with being fat and those who aren't? i was thinking that maybe it boils down to those who chose to be fat and those who feel trapped in their fat. do you think acceptance can create a fat trap for people sometimes?
as i was barreling up the scales i never really lived a life that emphasized fat very much, i did pretty much everything anybody else did. i didn't feel hindered. i dated, i was a bit atheletic. i had many other interests and identities. i had other issues that had the potential of impacting my life negatively--like race. i thought that people who were negatively focused on fat on other people were frivilous and mentally out of balance but powerless. i always felt comfortable in my fat for some reason. i never dreamt of being thin or had a bad body image. when i gained t didn't/doesn't sadden me. i do find it interesting though that if i lose i feel a sense of loss. the older i get the harder it is to maintain my weight. i'm not as interested in food as i once was even though i enjoy it. maybe because i have so many other things going on. i've never really packed on the calories eating anyway. its always been my thing to drink them. the kinds of things i do like eating on a daily basis aren't necessarily things that are chock full of calories. so i have to take a real interest in staying the size that i am but i don't wake up thinking about eating or planning meals all day long.
i'm not one of those people who has always seen their weight as one tremendous struggle. i don't feel ruled by or addicted to food. for me i think being fat has always been a natural choice. i never really had to work on hard on fat acceptance in that arena. sure little inconveniences bother me. i would rather find more clothing that i like in my size and not worry about comfortable accomodatons as much. but, as americans get fatter those issues seem to be decreasing daily.
i used to be curious about what caused other people who are fat to feel unaccepted. i know there are obstacles an inconveniences. i'm not insensitive the the fact that the public can be downright nasty toward fat folk. but having said that , there isn't one person who hasn't felt negatively impacted by some unsolicited and unwarranted attacks of other people at some time or another. so what makes being fat hurt some people so much?
my theory is that the real struggle may be that sometimes people feel traped by fat. some people have taken on fat and the negative aspects as their entire focus and identity. they hate the attention being fat brings and don't feel they can turn it to their benefit. some, understandably, feel trapped in physical limitatons and the health realities of being fat. some really don't feel they are visually pleasing. i think thats part of why feeders/feedees and gainers get treated like freaks. because often people can't imagine why thin people would want to be like us. we question people who are attracted to us like they are doing something wrong.
also i think people trap themselves emotionally in fat they don't like as a protective measure. its like armour you grow yourself. if you have it you don't have to be responsible for how you relate to the rest of the world and your actions in it. every bad reaction to the person is because he/she is fat. a fat person in this way can never be the person in the wrong. he/she is always the victim. so again a person becomes trapped by a fat crutch. if the same person is thin then they have no excuse for bad choices, reactions, and outcomes. the fat insulates against that. so one becomes addicted to having the ability to always have the pretense of being in the right and can't step out of the fat even if they hate it.
we trap others in fat as well--especially in acceptance. we castigate people who want to have WLS or diet like its an indictment on fat acceptance. we are punitive with people who choose it because somehow we think it negates the decision of those of us who want to be fat. people also feel exposed in their pretense that there aren't ways of becoming thin even if they really want to. people are trapped because they are too afraid of losing the help, support and friendship of the very community that is suppose to accept them. i worry that we can't really have acceptance if people don't feel free and they feel trapped that way. why isn't it ok for people to say that they'd rather be thin here if they are personally more comfortable that way. why can't they get the help and support no matter what they choose? isn't it also good to have people who were once fat and really understand the issues around to help make points? isn't it better for acceptance to have as examples people who actually enjoy being fat? and not people who'd really rather not be and feel it is a burden? are we guilting people who don't want to to stay fat? are we helping people to truly explore whether it really is for them personally in an honest way?
as i was barreling up the scales i never really lived a life that emphasized fat very much, i did pretty much everything anybody else did. i didn't feel hindered. i dated, i was a bit atheletic. i had many other interests and identities. i had other issues that had the potential of impacting my life negatively--like race. i thought that people who were negatively focused on fat on other people were frivilous and mentally out of balance but powerless. i always felt comfortable in my fat for some reason. i never dreamt of being thin or had a bad body image. when i gained t didn't/doesn't sadden me. i do find it interesting though that if i lose i feel a sense of loss. the older i get the harder it is to maintain my weight. i'm not as interested in food as i once was even though i enjoy it. maybe because i have so many other things going on. i've never really packed on the calories eating anyway. its always been my thing to drink them. the kinds of things i do like eating on a daily basis aren't necessarily things that are chock full of calories. so i have to take a real interest in staying the size that i am but i don't wake up thinking about eating or planning meals all day long.
i'm not one of those people who has always seen their weight as one tremendous struggle. i don't feel ruled by or addicted to food. for me i think being fat has always been a natural choice. i never really had to work on hard on fat acceptance in that arena. sure little inconveniences bother me. i would rather find more clothing that i like in my size and not worry about comfortable accomodatons as much. but, as americans get fatter those issues seem to be decreasing daily.
i used to be curious about what caused other people who are fat to feel unaccepted. i know there are obstacles an inconveniences. i'm not insensitive the the fact that the public can be downright nasty toward fat folk. but having said that , there isn't one person who hasn't felt negatively impacted by some unsolicited and unwarranted attacks of other people at some time or another. so what makes being fat hurt some people so much?
my theory is that the real struggle may be that sometimes people feel traped by fat. some people have taken on fat and the negative aspects as their entire focus and identity. they hate the attention being fat brings and don't feel they can turn it to their benefit. some, understandably, feel trapped in physical limitatons and the health realities of being fat. some really don't feel they are visually pleasing. i think thats part of why feeders/feedees and gainers get treated like freaks. because often people can't imagine why thin people would want to be like us. we question people who are attracted to us like they are doing something wrong.
also i think people trap themselves emotionally in fat they don't like as a protective measure. its like armour you grow yourself. if you have it you don't have to be responsible for how you relate to the rest of the world and your actions in it. every bad reaction to the person is because he/she is fat. a fat person in this way can never be the person in the wrong. he/she is always the victim. so again a person becomes trapped by a fat crutch. if the same person is thin then they have no excuse for bad choices, reactions, and outcomes. the fat insulates against that. so one becomes addicted to having the ability to always have the pretense of being in the right and can't step out of the fat even if they hate it.
we trap others in fat as well--especially in acceptance. we castigate people who want to have WLS or diet like its an indictment on fat acceptance. we are punitive with people who choose it because somehow we think it negates the decision of those of us who want to be fat. people also feel exposed in their pretense that there aren't ways of becoming thin even if they really want to. people are trapped because they are too afraid of losing the help, support and friendship of the very community that is suppose to accept them. i worry that we can't really have acceptance if people don't feel free and they feel trapped that way. why isn't it ok for people to say that they'd rather be thin here if they are personally more comfortable that way. why can't they get the help and support no matter what they choose? isn't it also good to have people who were once fat and really understand the issues around to help make points? isn't it better for acceptance to have as examples people who actually enjoy being fat? and not people who'd really rather not be and feel it is a burden? are we guilting people who don't want to to stay fat? are we helping people to truly explore whether it really is for them personally in an honest way?
