Ample Pie
Fattitude Problem
I am a feedee; I am not a victim. The two are not synonyms no matter what society or some organization may say or imply. A feedee is someone who derives sexual stimulation and/or satisfaction from the act or fantasy of being fed by someone and/or from the act or fantasy of gaining weight. What that means is that, as a feedee, I enjoy being fat, moreover I enjoy the fat itself. I receive pleasure from it and with it and because of it.
Too many times I've heard this concept dismissed because there is a stereotype that feedees are only in it to please a feeder. That angers me more than I can say because it completely denies my experience. I know how I feel about fat and the idea of being fatter, about gaining, about being stuffed: it arouses me. That is a fact that is in no way dependent upon the experience of anyone elsefeeder or not. I don't even have a feeder! There is no one around that I am trying to please.
Sure, I share photos and videos and stories, but I do not do that because I need approval. I do that because I'm having a good time being a soft flabby girl and I want to share it. Those photos and videos only really tell part of the storythey're a public face for a private fetish. When I'm alone and I start to imagine myself growing fatter, when I can see, in my mind, double and triple chins developing, or my belly growing so much that I can no longer even see my legs, I know how it makes me feel inside. That arousal I feel, often intense and crazy, isn't there because I'm trying to impress anyone: I'm alone. It's there because I'm a feedee and this is how I'm wired.
Is it possible that some people who claim to be feedees are only doing it because they want to be accepted by someone? Sure, but if that's why they are doing it, they aren't actual feedees. Someone is ONLY a feedee if they themselves get enjoyment from the act/fantasy. Period. Attempting to be accepted by someonesexually or otherwiseisn't a concept limited to the Feedism fetish. People do all kinds of things to attempt to be more sexually appealing to others. So the fact that it shows up in the Feedism community isn't something that's wrong with Feedism, it's just something to be expected because it shows up in the wider world.
Additionally, the idea that Feedism is only or even mostly about coercion is offensive! Someone who coerces or forces another person into something sexual (and I'm speaking of actual, not fantasy-based consensual coercion) isn't sharing a sexual fetish or even a sexual moment with that person; they are abusing that person. This isn't limited to Feedism and when it occurs, it is not because the person is a feeder, it's because the person has no respect for their partnerno matter what their orientation or fetish.
This kind of thing does happen, but it isn't more likely to happen in Feedism and to say otherwise presupposes that feeders are somehow more likely to be aggressors than other segments of the population and that feedees are somehow more likely to make themselves victims*. Forget the fact that such a presupposition is downright offensive, it doesn't even make logical sense. Feeders aren't mythical monsters, they're human beings with a certain predilectionthey come in all types: friendly, unfriendly, short, tall, generous, stingy, etc. Just like every other group of humans. And, yes, some people who claim the term feeder are jerks, but they're jerks anywayregardless of their fetish.
It has to be said that if what they're getting off on is forcing an unwilling or unaware partner into something and not the consensual experience of building and/or enjoying fat, they're not feeders, they're creeps or, likely, much worse. Obviously there can be a Dominant aspect to being a feeder, but Dominance isn't inherently abusive and not all feedism relationships/experiences are based on Dominant/submissive roles in the first place. Moreover, the feedee is just as likely to be the Dominant partner when D/s roles do emerge.
In short, feedees are not victims. I am not a victim. Like any other healthy, sexual adult, I know what I like: I know how I like it and what I'm willing to do and what I'm not willing to do to get it. Additionally, I have the courage and conviction to voice those desires and limits. That didn't suddenly go away because one of my kinks is being a feedee. My intelligence wasn't lessened the day I realized that being fat turned me on. I didn't lose my backbone the day I realized there might people out there who also enjoyed such things and who might also enjoy helping me on my quest (or at least in my fantasy) to be enormously fat and squishy. Being a feedee is sexual, it is about pleasure, it is not another word for victim.
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* Realize that I do not mean that victims make themselves so, only that there seems to be the idea that feedees do.
Too many times I've heard this concept dismissed because there is a stereotype that feedees are only in it to please a feeder. That angers me more than I can say because it completely denies my experience. I know how I feel about fat and the idea of being fatter, about gaining, about being stuffed: it arouses me. That is a fact that is in no way dependent upon the experience of anyone elsefeeder or not. I don't even have a feeder! There is no one around that I am trying to please.
Sure, I share photos and videos and stories, but I do not do that because I need approval. I do that because I'm having a good time being a soft flabby girl and I want to share it. Those photos and videos only really tell part of the storythey're a public face for a private fetish. When I'm alone and I start to imagine myself growing fatter, when I can see, in my mind, double and triple chins developing, or my belly growing so much that I can no longer even see my legs, I know how it makes me feel inside. That arousal I feel, often intense and crazy, isn't there because I'm trying to impress anyone: I'm alone. It's there because I'm a feedee and this is how I'm wired.
Is it possible that some people who claim to be feedees are only doing it because they want to be accepted by someone? Sure, but if that's why they are doing it, they aren't actual feedees. Someone is ONLY a feedee if they themselves get enjoyment from the act/fantasy. Period. Attempting to be accepted by someonesexually or otherwiseisn't a concept limited to the Feedism fetish. People do all kinds of things to attempt to be more sexually appealing to others. So the fact that it shows up in the Feedism community isn't something that's wrong with Feedism, it's just something to be expected because it shows up in the wider world.
Additionally, the idea that Feedism is only or even mostly about coercion is offensive! Someone who coerces or forces another person into something sexual (and I'm speaking of actual, not fantasy-based consensual coercion) isn't sharing a sexual fetish or even a sexual moment with that person; they are abusing that person. This isn't limited to Feedism and when it occurs, it is not because the person is a feeder, it's because the person has no respect for their partnerno matter what their orientation or fetish.
This kind of thing does happen, but it isn't more likely to happen in Feedism and to say otherwise presupposes that feeders are somehow more likely to be aggressors than other segments of the population and that feedees are somehow more likely to make themselves victims*. Forget the fact that such a presupposition is downright offensive, it doesn't even make logical sense. Feeders aren't mythical monsters, they're human beings with a certain predilectionthey come in all types: friendly, unfriendly, short, tall, generous, stingy, etc. Just like every other group of humans. And, yes, some people who claim the term feeder are jerks, but they're jerks anywayregardless of their fetish.
It has to be said that if what they're getting off on is forcing an unwilling or unaware partner into something and not the consensual experience of building and/or enjoying fat, they're not feeders, they're creeps or, likely, much worse. Obviously there can be a Dominant aspect to being a feeder, but Dominance isn't inherently abusive and not all feedism relationships/experiences are based on Dominant/submissive roles in the first place. Moreover, the feedee is just as likely to be the Dominant partner when D/s roles do emerge.
In short, feedees are not victims. I am not a victim. Like any other healthy, sexual adult, I know what I like: I know how I like it and what I'm willing to do and what I'm not willing to do to get it. Additionally, I have the courage and conviction to voice those desires and limits. That didn't suddenly go away because one of my kinks is being a feedee. My intelligence wasn't lessened the day I realized that being fat turned me on. I didn't lose my backbone the day I realized there might people out there who also enjoyed such things and who might also enjoy helping me on my quest (or at least in my fantasy) to be enormously fat and squishy. Being a feedee is sexual, it is about pleasure, it is not another word for victim.
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* Realize that I do not mean that victims make themselves so, only that there seems to be the idea that feedees do.
