So, this question obviously comes up in some form or another often enough on this board, but for some reason it's easier to make sense of when one asks the question one's self.
I'm currently in a long distance relationship, very much in love, and this is now the longest we've gone without seeing one another at over 4 weeks. Over the past 4 weeks, her weight has gone from 122 to 131 lbs, and she doesn't know if it's just a discrepancy with scales or a real gain (the clothes test doesn't work because two weeks ago she bought new clothes - we'll know tomorrow, when she measures). It makes sense, though, as with her new location she's been eating more homecooked meals and has been driving to work instead of walking.
She has no intentions of gaining weight on purpose for me, and is also planning on losing the weight once she moves again to a walk-friendly city. When she brought up her weight gain, which she just discovered today, she talked about getting out her old tighter wardrobe and showing off the new pounds, so she's not stressed about it. She knows about my fetish, accepts it, finds it rather charming and adorable, and indulges it in fantasy as much as she can, but now that it's going into real life I can't help but feel bad. She's by no means actually overweight, but my mind can't help but jump to the issue of her health and the level of exercise she's getting.
On the one hand, I love it. I love having my preferences not only indulged but found delightful, and I love that she has enthusiasm for it - I didn't even have to ask before she suggested measurements and everything. On the other hand, I feel like I'm encouraging this and that rather than sending the message of "I would love you and find you sexy at any weight," I'm sending a very clear message of "I will find you much sexier the more you gain." She's by no means fat, but as we all know skinny people aren't all in great shape and she's a pretty good illustration of that fact. I worry that I'm just reinforcing a lack of concern for her physical health.
I've never been able to actually indulge my fantasies of being with a girl who's gained weight in real life - my lifestyle of non-obsessive but regular walks and runs tends to encourage my partners to get fitter. I don't know how much to give in to this - after all, next time I see her is for two weeks and then she's off to another country for a few years anyway where fitness is the norm, so what's the harm in indulging it? I remain conflicted. Has anyone else dealt with this?
I'm currently in a long distance relationship, very much in love, and this is now the longest we've gone without seeing one another at over 4 weeks. Over the past 4 weeks, her weight has gone from 122 to 131 lbs, and she doesn't know if it's just a discrepancy with scales or a real gain (the clothes test doesn't work because two weeks ago she bought new clothes - we'll know tomorrow, when she measures). It makes sense, though, as with her new location she's been eating more homecooked meals and has been driving to work instead of walking.
She has no intentions of gaining weight on purpose for me, and is also planning on losing the weight once she moves again to a walk-friendly city. When she brought up her weight gain, which she just discovered today, she talked about getting out her old tighter wardrobe and showing off the new pounds, so she's not stressed about it. She knows about my fetish, accepts it, finds it rather charming and adorable, and indulges it in fantasy as much as she can, but now that it's going into real life I can't help but feel bad. She's by no means actually overweight, but my mind can't help but jump to the issue of her health and the level of exercise she's getting.
On the one hand, I love it. I love having my preferences not only indulged but found delightful, and I love that she has enthusiasm for it - I didn't even have to ask before she suggested measurements and everything. On the other hand, I feel like I'm encouraging this and that rather than sending the message of "I would love you and find you sexy at any weight," I'm sending a very clear message of "I will find you much sexier the more you gain." She's by no means fat, but as we all know skinny people aren't all in great shape and she's a pretty good illustration of that fact. I worry that I'm just reinforcing a lack of concern for her physical health.
I've never been able to actually indulge my fantasies of being with a girl who's gained weight in real life - my lifestyle of non-obsessive but regular walks and runs tends to encourage my partners to get fitter. I don't know how much to give in to this - after all, next time I see her is for two weeks and then she's off to another country for a few years anyway where fitness is the norm, so what's the harm in indulging it? I remain conflicted. Has anyone else dealt with this?
