FatBarbieDoll
Well-Known Member
I wasn't sure where else online to post my content other than Reddit, but thought this forum would be better due to it being more fat positive.
I am worried that my man does not love me for who I am and is trying to slowly change me. I am worried that I am not enough just as I am, which is an incorrect notion to hold, IMO.
We were chatting away today when we basically got onto the subject of me trying new things; people's tastes change as they age.
Fine -- I totally get that and I agree. What upset me was when he talked about how people should reinvent themselves as they get older and, when I pressed him further, he said that, as I age, I need to eat better and less food because I'll "pack on the pounds."
I really don't eat a lot now -- I usually skip breakfast, have a late lunch and then 2-3 small things later (I'm a night owl, so I stay up much later than he does and, therefore, get hungry). My eating volume is the same or similar to how it was before we moved in together, seeing as my weight has not gone up.
I'm worried that he views me as a project he can gradually mold to his liking, while I feel that, when you're with someone, they ought to love you just as you are; you alone are enough.
Have standards, of course, and preferences/deal breakers are OK, but that's not what this is about because he knew exactly how I was from the start -- no bait and switch here.
I have made compromises with him, which doesn't bother me, but my fear is that I'm not enough, and he will eventually try to completely change me. This makes me feel rejected.
Also, he may be exhibiting red flags, but I'm not sure. He "doesn't allow" me to have any social media accounts because his ex used one to contact another man with whom she wanted to cheat.
One of his huge deal breakers is me working, so he doesn't want me to have a job as long as we're together (he makes lots of money, and spoils me, if it matters).
I asked him earlier and he did imply that I'm enough for him. He has said he wants to marry me and even bought us a house. He claims to be madly in love with me too. He has spent thousands getting my teeth fixed and will pay for my much-desired sterilization.
If I was indeed enough, though, he wouldn't have alluded to people reinventing themselves when they get older because I'd be OK now.
I don't know...maybe he is ignorantly misguided (we have a huge age gap, BTW).
I am worried that my man does not love me for who I am and is trying to slowly change me. I am worried that I am not enough just as I am, which is an incorrect notion to hold, IMO.
We were chatting away today when we basically got onto the subject of me trying new things; people's tastes change as they age.
Fine -- I totally get that and I agree. What upset me was when he talked about how people should reinvent themselves as they get older and, when I pressed him further, he said that, as I age, I need to eat better and less food because I'll "pack on the pounds."
I really don't eat a lot now -- I usually skip breakfast, have a late lunch and then 2-3 small things later (I'm a night owl, so I stay up much later than he does and, therefore, get hungry). My eating volume is the same or similar to how it was before we moved in together, seeing as my weight has not gone up.
I'm worried that he views me as a project he can gradually mold to his liking, while I feel that, when you're with someone, they ought to love you just as you are; you alone are enough.
Have standards, of course, and preferences/deal breakers are OK, but that's not what this is about because he knew exactly how I was from the start -- no bait and switch here.
I have made compromises with him, which doesn't bother me, but my fear is that I'm not enough, and he will eventually try to completely change me. This makes me feel rejected.
Also, he may be exhibiting red flags, but I'm not sure. He "doesn't allow" me to have any social media accounts because his ex used one to contact another man with whom she wanted to cheat.
One of his huge deal breakers is me working, so he doesn't want me to have a job as long as we're together (he makes lots of money, and spoils me, if it matters).
I asked him earlier and he did imply that I'm enough for him. He has said he wants to marry me and even bought us a house. He claims to be madly in love with me too. He has spent thousands getting my teeth fixed and will pay for my much-desired sterilization.
If I was indeed enough, though, he wouldn't have alluded to people reinventing themselves when they get older because I'd be OK now.
I don't know...maybe he is ignorantly misguided (we have a huge age gap, BTW).
