mirandarosey
Member
I'm going to start this post by saying that I probably don't belong on this forum at all. However, I'm not entirely sure where else to go.
I have never considered myself to be an FA. (in fact, I had no idea the term even existed until recently). My boyfriend, however, is, which brings me to the reason I'm posting in the first place... after countless discussions turned arguments with him, I've come to realize that I don't understand it. At all.
The reason those discussions turned into arguments, by the way, isn't that I have a problem with FAs. His preference, however, has turned into a HUGE source of anxiety and insecurity for me. I'm in recovery from a horrible battle with anorexia nervosa, and I'm all too aware that I don't fit the mold of his ideal partner. I've tried many times to gain weight in order to make him happy, but unfortunately that seems to cause more problems than it fixes - recovery is a long and arduous process, and the thought of gaining even a couple pounds at this point is quite terrifying. I've tried asking him about what being an FA entails, but again, those discussions tend to end in shouting matches. I feel like my inability to put on weight is disappointing him, even if he'd never say so. Sometimes, I feel like a failure as a girlfriend.
So, if someone (or a few someones) would be willing to talk to me about what exactly being an FA entails, I would be really grateful. I love this man very much, and I want to understand where he's coming from, even if it's painful for me.
Specific questions: What does being an FA mean to you? How did you figure out you were one? Does being an FA mean that you can't be truly happy with anyone who isn't fat? If one is with a thin partner, does that partner need to gain weight? What happens if they can't?
I'm sorry if I've offended anyone by posting, and thank you for your time.
I have never considered myself to be an FA. (in fact, I had no idea the term even existed until recently). My boyfriend, however, is, which brings me to the reason I'm posting in the first place... after countless discussions turned arguments with him, I've come to realize that I don't understand it. At all.
The reason those discussions turned into arguments, by the way, isn't that I have a problem with FAs. His preference, however, has turned into a HUGE source of anxiety and insecurity for me. I'm in recovery from a horrible battle with anorexia nervosa, and I'm all too aware that I don't fit the mold of his ideal partner. I've tried many times to gain weight in order to make him happy, but unfortunately that seems to cause more problems than it fixes - recovery is a long and arduous process, and the thought of gaining even a couple pounds at this point is quite terrifying. I've tried asking him about what being an FA entails, but again, those discussions tend to end in shouting matches. I feel like my inability to put on weight is disappointing him, even if he'd never say so. Sometimes, I feel like a failure as a girlfriend.
So, if someone (or a few someones) would be willing to talk to me about what exactly being an FA entails, I would be really grateful. I love this man very much, and I want to understand where he's coming from, even if it's painful for me.
Specific questions: What does being an FA mean to you? How did you figure out you were one? Does being an FA mean that you can't be truly happy with anyone who isn't fat? If one is with a thin partner, does that partner need to gain weight? What happens if they can't?
I'm sorry if I've offended anyone by posting, and thank you for your time.
