I've been offline for awhile because I've had a lot of personal stuff going on. I am separated and nearly divorced now and I don't yet really know how I feel about it. I will always love my husband as a friend, but not with the passion I once felt. My husband loves me in the same way, but kind of "settled" for me (All his exes have been rather svelte). I'm a fairly healthy person except for being new to self- acceptance, but our relationship wasn't healthy. I never wanted him to see me naked and when he did I was always ashamed because I could imagine what he was thinking and it was never good. For the past 5 years, he has kissed me the way he kisses his mother- with a little peck and no hint of feeling.
I am now 33 and am almost twice divorced. I hate the way that sounds. At 19 I married an abuser because he convinced me he was my only chance and that no one else would ever love me (What a crock and what a manipulator). At 26 I married a really nice and wonderful man who just happens to not be an FA and who loved me DESPITE my size. Obviously that doesn't work.
I am tired of settling. I am not actively "looking" right now, and I don't know if I ever WILL be (I prefer to let fate take its course), but I do know this- I will never again settle for a man who is NOT an FA. I want (and deserve!) to be looked at with lust by the man who loves me on the inside as well.
I am so glad I found these boards specifically and the internet in general. I have never been lucky enough to meet an FA in "real life" and I had actually begun to doubt that they really existed!
I have a lot of plans now. I am going to stop putting myself on the backburner and finish my degree (I have 9 credit hours left on my economics degree), get a makeover, and start meeting people, going out, and having fun again!
Who knows- I might even find the courage to post my pic here one day!
I am now 33 and am almost twice divorced. I hate the way that sounds. At 19 I married an abuser because he convinced me he was my only chance and that no one else would ever love me (What a crock and what a manipulator). At 26 I married a really nice and wonderful man who just happens to not be an FA and who loved me DESPITE my size. Obviously that doesn't work.
I am tired of settling. I am not actively "looking" right now, and I don't know if I ever WILL be (I prefer to let fate take its course), but I do know this- I will never again settle for a man who is NOT an FA. I want (and deserve!) to be looked at with lust by the man who loves me on the inside as well.
I am so glad I found these boards specifically and the internet in general. I have never been lucky enough to meet an FA in "real life" and I had actually begun to doubt that they really existed!
I have a lot of plans now. I am going to stop putting myself on the backburner and finish my degree (I have 9 credit hours left on my economics degree), get a makeover, and start meeting people, going out, and having fun again!
Who knows- I might even find the courage to post my pic here one day!
