Celestial Ceece
SSBBW Singer
Hello dimensions people - it has been a long time since you all have seen my fat butt around here, simply because I am suffering from health issues and personal issues etc. I'll get to my point though, so as not to bore whomever decides to read.
If you know me, then you know I'm a large woman and have been all my life. I'm currently 27 years old, 440 pounds, and 6'1", and disabled. Over the past five years I've developed rheumatoid arthritis in my joints, osteoarthritis in my left knee, and then I eventually herniated the L5 and SI discs in my back and have two pinched nerves related to that, causing sciatica in my leg. In addition, I have entrapted nerves in my ankles because of the rheumatoid arthritis. Recently, I've developed borderline blood pressure, and I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a long, long time.
My physical health has gotten so bad that I'm really limited in my mobility, and am pretty well housebound. I use a cane, can't really do things on my own (like shopping for instance), and require a lot of help in my life in general. I am incredibly frustrated because I am in pain all the time, and honestly, this pain makes me feel unhappy enough that I think about taking my own life often.
It seems as though every professional I see, whether they be a psychologist or a neurologist, suggests gastric bypass as the one and only option for me. I can't have surgery on my back because I'm too heavy, and I can't have surgery on my knee for the same reason, and also because I am too young. I know that my lifestyle is incredibly unhealthy, because I am unhealthy. I feel as though I don't have many choices left! I have tried to lose weight on my own unsuccessfully. I don't want to divulge the reasons for not being able to keep the weight off but limited mobility and chronic pain play a huge role (in my rolls hahaa).
Today, I saw a psychiatrist, and he suggested I talk to other folks who have had the surgery, and start researching it. I told him that I have done research, but I will start to connect with other people who have had the surgery so that I can get a better perspective on it.
My main concerns are that I have rheumatoid arthritis, which comprimises my immune system. I am on two medications for the disease that suppress my immune system. This means that when somebody comes around me with a cold, I get it. This means that I always get infections, and have a seriously difficult time fighting them off on my own. This also means that I am scared to death of getting some sort of nasty infection if I were to get my stomach bypassed. The nearest MRI that I fit in is 3.5 hours away. Couple that with the fact that I'm more than certain my Doctor thinks I am a hypochondriac...and I am sure that I will die from this. My GUT just tells me that I would be one of the people who would die from having this surgery. I also don't have the support of some of my closest family members and friends. Now of course my (formerly fat) siblings think it is a grand idea, because they realize I suffer and want to see me happy...
Has anybody else who has gone through the surgery had the same concerns? Has anybody else here had some of the same problems and issues that I have? Truly and honestly, I feel that if I don't do something about my health, including WEIGHT LOSS (gasp, :shocked: OMG OMG, a semi-sexy supersized girl wants to lose weight because it is negatively impacting her health), that I will end up in a wheelchair by the end of the year. I'm tired of NOT living my life when I'm so young. I can't live this way any longer. But I don't want to die trying to regain my life either.
Thoughts? Suggestions? HELP?
If you know me, then you know I'm a large woman and have been all my life. I'm currently 27 years old, 440 pounds, and 6'1", and disabled. Over the past five years I've developed rheumatoid arthritis in my joints, osteoarthritis in my left knee, and then I eventually herniated the L5 and SI discs in my back and have two pinched nerves related to that, causing sciatica in my leg. In addition, I have entrapted nerves in my ankles because of the rheumatoid arthritis. Recently, I've developed borderline blood pressure, and I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a long, long time.
My physical health has gotten so bad that I'm really limited in my mobility, and am pretty well housebound. I use a cane, can't really do things on my own (like shopping for instance), and require a lot of help in my life in general. I am incredibly frustrated because I am in pain all the time, and honestly, this pain makes me feel unhappy enough that I think about taking my own life often.
It seems as though every professional I see, whether they be a psychologist or a neurologist, suggests gastric bypass as the one and only option for me. I can't have surgery on my back because I'm too heavy, and I can't have surgery on my knee for the same reason, and also because I am too young. I know that my lifestyle is incredibly unhealthy, because I am unhealthy. I feel as though I don't have many choices left! I have tried to lose weight on my own unsuccessfully. I don't want to divulge the reasons for not being able to keep the weight off but limited mobility and chronic pain play a huge role (in my rolls hahaa).
Today, I saw a psychiatrist, and he suggested I talk to other folks who have had the surgery, and start researching it. I told him that I have done research, but I will start to connect with other people who have had the surgery so that I can get a better perspective on it.
My main concerns are that I have rheumatoid arthritis, which comprimises my immune system. I am on two medications for the disease that suppress my immune system. This means that when somebody comes around me with a cold, I get it. This means that I always get infections, and have a seriously difficult time fighting them off on my own. This also means that I am scared to death of getting some sort of nasty infection if I were to get my stomach bypassed. The nearest MRI that I fit in is 3.5 hours away. Couple that with the fact that I'm more than certain my Doctor thinks I am a hypochondriac...and I am sure that I will die from this. My GUT just tells me that I would be one of the people who would die from having this surgery. I also don't have the support of some of my closest family members and friends. Now of course my (formerly fat) siblings think it is a grand idea, because they realize I suffer and want to see me happy...
Has anybody else who has gone through the surgery had the same concerns? Has anybody else here had some of the same problems and issues that I have? Truly and honestly, I feel that if I don't do something about my health, including WEIGHT LOSS (gasp, :shocked: OMG OMG, a semi-sexy supersized girl wants to lose weight because it is negatively impacting her health), that I will end up in a wheelchair by the end of the year. I'm tired of NOT living my life when I'm so young. I can't live this way any longer. But I don't want to die trying to regain my life either.
Thoughts? Suggestions? HELP?
