see i'm not sure at all if this is a board for me. why? because.... well
i'll turn nineteen tomorrow (hehe) and i'm a boy. and i'm very thin. i'm six feet tall and weigh around 110 pounds. i've been anorexic and bulimic for the past six years but i've been in therapy for the last three and now i'm finally making some progress. but only some... soooooooooo here's something: i LOVE fat people, fat girls, fat women. and i LOVE to eat and cook. i have an overweight friend (around 220 pounds at 5'3'') that's constantly dieting and she knows about my issues with food and all but some nights we'll sit and eat and eat and eat and cook some maybe and then EEEEAAAT some more and i SWEAR it's getting all sexual and stuff. and i lovvve these nights. but, i'm so terribly scared of getting fat myself that when she's left i usually go and make myself throw up. i know, i know, it's disgusting and all and. sigh. i don't know. and we never talk about these nights the day after because she knows i know she didn't stick to her diet and i think she suspects i threw it all up and.... gah this is so fucked up!!
help please? all this is really bugging me.
annnnnnd if you don't want me because i'm fucked up in the head like this ..,then: am i still allowed to lurk around here and read? because i really enjoy what i've been reading here.
i'm so
...sigh
i'll turn nineteen tomorrow (hehe) and i'm a boy. and i'm very thin. i'm six feet tall and weigh around 110 pounds. i've been anorexic and bulimic for the past six years but i've been in therapy for the last three and now i'm finally making some progress. but only some... soooooooooo here's something: i LOVE fat people, fat girls, fat women. and i LOVE to eat and cook. i have an overweight friend (around 220 pounds at 5'3'') that's constantly dieting and she knows about my issues with food and all but some nights we'll sit and eat and eat and eat and cook some maybe and then EEEEAAAT some more and i SWEAR it's getting all sexual and stuff. and i lovvve these nights. but, i'm so terribly scared of getting fat myself that when she's left i usually go and make myself throw up. i know, i know, it's disgusting and all and. sigh. i don't know. and we never talk about these nights the day after because she knows i know she didn't stick to her diet and i think she suspects i threw it all up and.... gah this is so fucked up!!
help please? all this is really bugging me.
annnnnnd if you don't want me because i'm fucked up in the head like this ..,then: am i still allowed to lurk around here and read? because i really enjoy what i've been reading here.
i'm so
...sigh
