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I'm so depressed

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Sandie_Zitkus

In Rememberance
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
5,978
Location
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I've been trying to deal with this alone - but I can't anymore.

I guess it's because of being sick all summer and now recovering from surgery - I'm so deeply depressed all I seem to be able to do is sleep and cry - and post an occasional smartass post here. I hate when I get like this because I feel like no one gives a damn about me and I alienate even those I know care.

Why can't I get past this?? I go along OK for a while and then it's like being swallowed by a deep dark hole. And it feels pretty damn deep this time. I miss having someone to call to talk to about this. My best girlfriend is in her own personal hell right now and I can't reach her. So - I feel really alone. And nothing feels worse to me then feeling no one in the whole world cares if I live or die. I know it's not true but what's true doesn't matter when I get like this.

Can someone please point me in the right direction to find out more about bi-polar disease. I have been suspecting this for years and every time I bring it up to any kind of Dr. all I get is "you're depressed you're gonna be moody". That's not good enough anymore.

I need some help. And a friend. Is anyone out there???
 

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