Ive been tossing the idea around about a gripe I have in relation to how I see women getting treated around this site and not only whether or not to say something about it, but HOW to get my point across concisely and in the spirit that it is meant. I am hurt, I am pissed, I am ashamed at times here in Dimensions.
I chat with a number of fat women. A few have been concerned and one in particular has come straight out and asked if she even belonged here because she simply felt as if she was "in between both worlds" and expressed concern that she just didn't fit in here because she didn't feel as if she was fat enough.
As a newbie here she was flattered by all the attention and appalled by how rude the chatters were by their personal questions in 30 seconds of chat.
The thing that got her attention most of all though was that at her weight and size (230-270) range, it seemed that everyone she encountered pressed her to gain. She honestly felt out of step with size acceptance because she felt that she was too fat to be found attractive by those who liked thin women and NOT FAT ENOUGH to be admired by those who found fat girls sexy.
All in all SHE DID NOT FEEL ACCEPTED HERE as a fully fledged fat girl. She is also not the only one I've heard this from just the most recent and therefore the freshest conversation on my mind at the moment.
She asked me "I feel so marginalized, aren't I fat enough to be sexy to an FA, why cant they just be satisfied with ME without the pressure to gain?"
I understand that a large part of the online communities is about fantasy. I understand that men especially will say things to a woman online that they wouldnt dare say if the woman were within slapping distance of them.
Why would any FA treat women, that they admire, in this manner is what I don't get. It is no mystery to me that we men are perceived in return by women as nasty pigs and pervs, looked at with suspicion for any attention we offer, no matter now platonic, if this is any representation of what is being presented to them anywhere but most especially in a community where acceptance at any size is supposed to be the norm.
This chatter has been around for only a couple of weeks and has made mention to me that she is considering never coming back since this has been a consistant and constant thing without anyone treating her as anything more than a piece of meat that just isnt good enough as she is. Beautiful yes, but never good enough, never big enough.
I have told her that the troll community is out there and is almost a rite of passage for women to control them on her own terms. My gripe is that she shouldnt have to battle her way through the dregs HERE at dims to make it to a place where she can feel accepted and admired.
She is an incredibly beautiful and passionate woman. She is also a fully realized Foodee that I have had the exhillirating experience to have met and talked with. I am the only representitive of an FA that has treated her with the respect she so richly deserves as both a woman and a woman of size. This is from her own mouth paraphrased by me here. As the First FA she has met that she knows of. I am the reason she comes here.
The women we admire have a hard enough time with an outside world telling them they simply aren't good enough, without being told that from those who claim to accept and admire them.
Rollhandler
I chat with a number of fat women. A few have been concerned and one in particular has come straight out and asked if she even belonged here because she simply felt as if she was "in between both worlds" and expressed concern that she just didn't fit in here because she didn't feel as if she was fat enough.
As a newbie here she was flattered by all the attention and appalled by how rude the chatters were by their personal questions in 30 seconds of chat.
The thing that got her attention most of all though was that at her weight and size (230-270) range, it seemed that everyone she encountered pressed her to gain. She honestly felt out of step with size acceptance because she felt that she was too fat to be found attractive by those who liked thin women and NOT FAT ENOUGH to be admired by those who found fat girls sexy.
All in all SHE DID NOT FEEL ACCEPTED HERE as a fully fledged fat girl. She is also not the only one I've heard this from just the most recent and therefore the freshest conversation on my mind at the moment.
She asked me "I feel so marginalized, aren't I fat enough to be sexy to an FA, why cant they just be satisfied with ME without the pressure to gain?"
I understand that a large part of the online communities is about fantasy. I understand that men especially will say things to a woman online that they wouldnt dare say if the woman were within slapping distance of them.
Why would any FA treat women, that they admire, in this manner is what I don't get. It is no mystery to me that we men are perceived in return by women as nasty pigs and pervs, looked at with suspicion for any attention we offer, no matter now platonic, if this is any representation of what is being presented to them anywhere but most especially in a community where acceptance at any size is supposed to be the norm.
This chatter has been around for only a couple of weeks and has made mention to me that she is considering never coming back since this has been a consistant and constant thing without anyone treating her as anything more than a piece of meat that just isnt good enough as she is. Beautiful yes, but never good enough, never big enough.
I have told her that the troll community is out there and is almost a rite of passage for women to control them on her own terms. My gripe is that she shouldnt have to battle her way through the dregs HERE at dims to make it to a place where she can feel accepted and admired.
She is an incredibly beautiful and passionate woman. She is also a fully realized Foodee that I have had the exhillirating experience to have met and talked with. I am the only representitive of an FA that has treated her with the respect she so richly deserves as both a woman and a woman of size. This is from her own mouth paraphrased by me here. As the First FA she has met that she knows of. I am the reason she comes here.
The women we admire have a hard enough time with an outside world telling them they simply aren't good enough, without being told that from those who claim to accept and admire them.
Rollhandler
