S
saucywench
This time of year seems to bring an emphasis on drinking and "making merry." My best friend nearly died (OK, technically, she did die--three times--in the MediVac copter on the way to the hospital) about three months ago because she was driving drunk and hit a tree. Luckily it was a single-vehicle accident and no other (innocent) people were involved. As we live quite a distance apart, I was unaware of how deeply alcoholism had taken hold of her. I knew from phone conversations, though, how her behavior had begun to change--frequenting bars had become part of her lifestyle, and she was "taking up" with men of a caliber that I wouldn't ordinarily associate with her. The last contact I had had with her was when she left a voicemail message on my phone a few days prior to her wreck. She was loud and her words were slurred.
I am fortunate in that I don't carry the gene that seems to prompt alcoholism. By contrast, when I experienced my biggest depressive episode of a few years back, my instinct was to withdraw from society. I spent a great deal of time alone and, some four years later, am still reluctant to get out and about and socialize with other people. The advantage of my method over hers is that my (voluntarily) forced solitude provided the time necessary to evaluate my life and my behavior. It's not that I was doing anything "bad," per se, but I really took stock of certain behaviors that had become habit and realized that they were vastly different from who I felt to be at my core. I vowed to be more truthful to who I felt that person was. That entailed realizing my worth as a human being--the positive qualities I lent to myself, and others. For anyone who has ever suffered from low self-esteem, you know how daunting this task can be. Although I had overcome many self-esteem issues prior to this episode and presented myself, for the most part, as a positive person to the outside world, there were still issues to be addressed before I could arrive at a place where I was truly comfortable in my own skin.
I guess the point of all that rambling is to say that, when you use alcohol as a crutch to make your way through life because you are uncomfortable with yourself, you will never allow yourself time to face your demons. And drinking excessively will only mask those problems temporarily. Once you sober up, your problems will still be there, waiting to be addressed. Looking back, it was a blessing that I was fired (for the first and I hope only time in my life) and thus unemployed for an entire year, as that gave me time that most people don't have--time to work through things.
I spent two weeks with my best friend after she was released from rehab. Although she was no longer drinking, she still exhibited many of the behaviors--a dry drunk, if you will. I was so dismayed by her personality changes that I left without saying goodbye, and have since estranged myself from her--thus effectively ending a friendship of 30 years. I realized that there was nothing I could do as her friend to help her--that she was still in denial. And I had come too far in my own development to allow myself to be dragged down by her, to be co-dependent to her clouded way of thinking.
Alcoholism affects not only the alcoholic--it affects everyone they come into contact with, especially their loved ones. It is a devastating disease. I had also spent 10 years involved with a man who was an alcoholic and substance abuser, so I know firsthand what havoc it can wreak. He was extremely bright, witty, incredibly handsome, and creative in both art and music, and it is such a travesty that he wasted his life--all because of the pain that comes from being human. People, the pain in our lives will always be there until we take steps to address it. Drinking and/or drugging will not take away that pain permanently--it will only hinder any efforts we make to work through it, and will cause all of the people we love to suffer needlessly.
I Googled "glorifying drunkenness" and it brought up many links. After sorting through the mostly religious ones, I came across this. I hope it is of use to someone. The file was too large for me to post in its entirety here.
http://www.werecover.org/7_Myths_Alcohol_Marketing.htm
I am fortunate in that I don't carry the gene that seems to prompt alcoholism. By contrast, when I experienced my biggest depressive episode of a few years back, my instinct was to withdraw from society. I spent a great deal of time alone and, some four years later, am still reluctant to get out and about and socialize with other people. The advantage of my method over hers is that my (voluntarily) forced solitude provided the time necessary to evaluate my life and my behavior. It's not that I was doing anything "bad," per se, but I really took stock of certain behaviors that had become habit and realized that they were vastly different from who I felt to be at my core. I vowed to be more truthful to who I felt that person was. That entailed realizing my worth as a human being--the positive qualities I lent to myself, and others. For anyone who has ever suffered from low self-esteem, you know how daunting this task can be. Although I had overcome many self-esteem issues prior to this episode and presented myself, for the most part, as a positive person to the outside world, there were still issues to be addressed before I could arrive at a place where I was truly comfortable in my own skin.
I guess the point of all that rambling is to say that, when you use alcohol as a crutch to make your way through life because you are uncomfortable with yourself, you will never allow yourself time to face your demons. And drinking excessively will only mask those problems temporarily. Once you sober up, your problems will still be there, waiting to be addressed. Looking back, it was a blessing that I was fired (for the first and I hope only time in my life) and thus unemployed for an entire year, as that gave me time that most people don't have--time to work through things.
I spent two weeks with my best friend after she was released from rehab. Although she was no longer drinking, she still exhibited many of the behaviors--a dry drunk, if you will. I was so dismayed by her personality changes that I left without saying goodbye, and have since estranged myself from her--thus effectively ending a friendship of 30 years. I realized that there was nothing I could do as her friend to help her--that she was still in denial. And I had come too far in my own development to allow myself to be dragged down by her, to be co-dependent to her clouded way of thinking.
Alcoholism affects not only the alcoholic--it affects everyone they come into contact with, especially their loved ones. It is a devastating disease. I had also spent 10 years involved with a man who was an alcoholic and substance abuser, so I know firsthand what havoc it can wreak. He was extremely bright, witty, incredibly handsome, and creative in both art and music, and it is such a travesty that he wasted his life--all because of the pain that comes from being human. People, the pain in our lives will always be there until we take steps to address it. Drinking and/or drugging will not take away that pain permanently--it will only hinder any efforts we make to work through it, and will cause all of the people we love to suffer needlessly.
I Googled "glorifying drunkenness" and it brought up many links. After sorting through the mostly religious ones, I came across this. I hope it is of use to someone. The file was too large for me to post in its entirety here.
http://www.werecover.org/7_Myths_Alcohol_Marketing.htm
