A while back I shared an experience on another thread:
Dealing with insensitive comments, looks or attitudes.
I’ve noticed some developments in my daughter that make me wonder if this event was the catalyst. While I’m extremely open about my marriage here on Dims I am less so about my role as a father. But the reality is our kids are growing up in an acutely image conscious environment made even more so by so many social media platforms.
We discuss a lot of weight related issues from everyday challenges to health issues to emotional and relationship issues. What you don’t see a lot of here in Dims is conversation about how weight affects us as parents and affects our kids. Kids can be brutal to each other and if a child has a mom or dad who is overweight it can really open them up for bullying and teasing. So much so that my wife is hesitant to be seen at our daughter’s school because she doesn’t want her weight to be the reason our girl gets teased.
In this environment my daughter has recently become aggressively supportive of my wife’s weight. It’s extremely cute and endearing and it’s good for all of us I think.
A couple weeks ago I had the kids at a beach boardwalk restaurant and we were sitting outside on a covered patio. Just a few feet from us there was a public shower for rinsing sand. I was sitting facing into the restaurant with my back to the beach. My daughter was across from me and her little brother was next to her. He smiled really big and pointed and said, “haha look at her butt!” I turned to see a pretty fit young lady in a pretty skimpy bikini rinsing sand off her feet. Her butt was on full display. Just as quickly as I looked my daughter said, “excuse me? Why are you looking?” I laughed and turned back around and she said, “Mom’s butt is way better and is almost too much for you to handle anyway old man!” Where does she get this stuff?
Also recently she was helping my wife make dinner, and they were listening to “Low” by Flo Rida. When the song reached the part where she “turned around and gave that big booty a smack” my daughter smacked my wife on her big booty and they both laughed and laughed about it.
She’s taken to sending her silly gifs and tiktoks whose themes are big butts on plus size women. Notably she sent one that included the phrase “thicker than a snicker” which has resulted in “snickers” becoming an emerging nick name for my wife.
Not only is she not embarrassed by her mom’s weight but she seems to be openly embracing it.
She is a pretty fit girl, but shows a lot of compassion toward girls in her class who are on the chubby side. Even though I’ve never directly told my daughter that I like plus size women, she sees me and her mom and has more or less figured it out. She has used this observation to encourage a few of her chubbier friends: that guys who think big girls are smoking hot do exist. (Keep in mind while these classmates of hers are all pretty young, in their minds they are old enough to begin exploring dating and relationships and when they encounter disappointment or rejection due to weight it can be devastating.)
When school starts again I am going to encourage my wife not to keep her distance. I think my daughter has the ability to handle anything anyone says to her about her mom’s weight. And knowing her she’s likely to turn around and start giving it back. Meanwhile I don’t want to see my wife miss out on life with our daughter over fear of her weight leading to her being made fun of.
We also have 2 boys but they are younger and less in tune with weight related issues. It’s coming though, and the dynamic with them will be different than it is with our daughter.
Parenting is hard enough as it is. Doing it as a plus size parent or in a relationship with one adds an element other parents don’t have to navigate. It can be tough.
I think it’s worth discussing how others have approached weight related issues with their kids. Our lifestyles as parents affect our kids. We’re kidding ourselves if we think otherwise. I’d love to hear the class’s thoughts on how to respond to this issues.
Dealing with insensitive comments, looks or attitudes.
I’ve noticed some developments in my daughter that make me wonder if this event was the catalyst. While I’m extremely open about my marriage here on Dims I am less so about my role as a father. But the reality is our kids are growing up in an acutely image conscious environment made even more so by so many social media platforms.
We discuss a lot of weight related issues from everyday challenges to health issues to emotional and relationship issues. What you don’t see a lot of here in Dims is conversation about how weight affects us as parents and affects our kids. Kids can be brutal to each other and if a child has a mom or dad who is overweight it can really open them up for bullying and teasing. So much so that my wife is hesitant to be seen at our daughter’s school because she doesn’t want her weight to be the reason our girl gets teased.
In this environment my daughter has recently become aggressively supportive of my wife’s weight. It’s extremely cute and endearing and it’s good for all of us I think.
A couple weeks ago I had the kids at a beach boardwalk restaurant and we were sitting outside on a covered patio. Just a few feet from us there was a public shower for rinsing sand. I was sitting facing into the restaurant with my back to the beach. My daughter was across from me and her little brother was next to her. He smiled really big and pointed and said, “haha look at her butt!” I turned to see a pretty fit young lady in a pretty skimpy bikini rinsing sand off her feet. Her butt was on full display. Just as quickly as I looked my daughter said, “excuse me? Why are you looking?” I laughed and turned back around and she said, “Mom’s butt is way better and is almost too much for you to handle anyway old man!” Where does she get this stuff?
Also recently she was helping my wife make dinner, and they were listening to “Low” by Flo Rida. When the song reached the part where she “turned around and gave that big booty a smack” my daughter smacked my wife on her big booty and they both laughed and laughed about it.
She’s taken to sending her silly gifs and tiktoks whose themes are big butts on plus size women. Notably she sent one that included the phrase “thicker than a snicker” which has resulted in “snickers” becoming an emerging nick name for my wife.
Not only is she not embarrassed by her mom’s weight but she seems to be openly embracing it.
She is a pretty fit girl, but shows a lot of compassion toward girls in her class who are on the chubby side. Even though I’ve never directly told my daughter that I like plus size women, she sees me and her mom and has more or less figured it out. She has used this observation to encourage a few of her chubbier friends: that guys who think big girls are smoking hot do exist. (Keep in mind while these classmates of hers are all pretty young, in their minds they are old enough to begin exploring dating and relationships and when they encounter disappointment or rejection due to weight it can be devastating.)
When school starts again I am going to encourage my wife not to keep her distance. I think my daughter has the ability to handle anything anyone says to her about her mom’s weight. And knowing her she’s likely to turn around and start giving it back. Meanwhile I don’t want to see my wife miss out on life with our daughter over fear of her weight leading to her being made fun of.
We also have 2 boys but they are younger and less in tune with weight related issues. It’s coming though, and the dynamic with them will be different than it is with our daughter.
Parenting is hard enough as it is. Doing it as a plus size parent or in a relationship with one adds an element other parents don’t have to navigate. It can be tough.
I think it’s worth discussing how others have approached weight related issues with their kids. Our lifestyles as parents affect our kids. We’re kidding ourselves if we think otherwise. I’d love to hear the class’s thoughts on how to respond to this issues.
