I've been mulling this over for a few months now. I think it's discussion worthy here on Dims, but I've struggled to find the right way to present it. Until now.
We went to a water park yesterday and my wife was in a swimsuit (naturally). Now obviously she wasn't the only plus size woman there but I was easily one of the most fit men there, especially if you control for age. That combination: fit man, fat woman, was a bit rare. We're both people watchers so we often notice when people notice us.
Most of the time people tend to go about their own business and don't seem to notice us. But sometimes people do and sometimes their reactions are visibly noticeable.
Some observations from yesterday:
- My wife pointed out a pair of fit girls and noted they'd been giving the two of us some stares. She said, "Those skinny bitches can't seem to accept that a fat girl has a fit husband. They probably assume you're miserable or embarrassed." I made sure I got physically and visibly affectionate after that, flaunting it even. We experienced something similar at the beach last summer and I had been a bit handsy-onny with her without even knowing some women next to us had been not so discreet in their criticism of her body and even hinted sympathy for "her poor husband" only to later see me struggling to restrain myself because we were on a public beach and the kinds of things I wanted to do weren't suitable for the time/place!
- At one point I was walking a few feet behind my wife because one of our little people was lagging behind. I noticed a few times when an AA male would pass, whether he was with a woman or not, as he passed my wife he did the ole' "180 sweep" where he casually turned his head back to check out my wife's backside. This happened 3 or 4 times and one on occasion the guy made eye contact with me as he turned back around and realized he'd been busted. But I wasn't a jerk, I just smiled and winked as if to say, "That's right, I sleep with that every night." NOTE: the preference black men have for thick, even fat women has been discussed at great length elsewhere in this forum. I'm not trying to open that dialogue up here, I'm just sharing what I observed yesterday.
- On our drive home my wife mentioned that she noticed a few of her fellow fat girls checking me out. We've both noticed that fat women will signal there approval to each other when "one of their own" has a man they find appealing. She pointed out that a few of them gave me a good healthy once over, noticed her, then looked at me again like they were ready to eat me alive if they had their way. She added that so many people assume just because a woman is fat she should be with a fat partner, but that fat women have preferences too and some of them prefer a fit partner. I feel so lucky to have the wife I have, but it made me feel really good when she expressed feeling lucky to have the husband she has. :smitten:
Being at a water park really brings this out because men and women are by nature of their location more revealing than in every day life. We notice reactions, positive and negative, all the time but something about our bodies being on greater display to others really emphasized this. Add in that many people consider a fit man with a fat woman to be a major mismatch and we've drawn some reactions in our time together.
I am not going to recount all of our experiences though I am prepared to share a few other examples if people are interested. It's very important to note not all the reactions are negative. In fact, some of them are nothing short of beautiful and pleasant.
Not all reactions are tied directly to us being a mismatched couple either: some reactions (good and bad alike) are toward my wife exclusively as evidenced by some of the things she has observed or experienced when she is not with me. But they do seem to increase when we're with each other and yesterday at the park really brought it out.
I'm curious to hear what your experiences are. What kinds of reactions do people have toward you when you're with your partner or if you're a plus size man or woman, you directly. It can be positive or negative, and hopefully there's a lot of the former! But there will probably be some of the latter and in those cases I'd be curious to know how you responded too.
I welcome your experiences and/or general thoughts.
We went to a water park yesterday and my wife was in a swimsuit (naturally). Now obviously she wasn't the only plus size woman there but I was easily one of the most fit men there, especially if you control for age. That combination: fit man, fat woman, was a bit rare. We're both people watchers so we often notice when people notice us.
Most of the time people tend to go about their own business and don't seem to notice us. But sometimes people do and sometimes their reactions are visibly noticeable.
Some observations from yesterday:
- My wife pointed out a pair of fit girls and noted they'd been giving the two of us some stares. She said, "Those skinny bitches can't seem to accept that a fat girl has a fit husband. They probably assume you're miserable or embarrassed." I made sure I got physically and visibly affectionate after that, flaunting it even. We experienced something similar at the beach last summer and I had been a bit handsy-onny with her without even knowing some women next to us had been not so discreet in their criticism of her body and even hinted sympathy for "her poor husband" only to later see me struggling to restrain myself because we were on a public beach and the kinds of things I wanted to do weren't suitable for the time/place!
- At one point I was walking a few feet behind my wife because one of our little people was lagging behind. I noticed a few times when an AA male would pass, whether he was with a woman or not, as he passed my wife he did the ole' "180 sweep" where he casually turned his head back to check out my wife's backside. This happened 3 or 4 times and one on occasion the guy made eye contact with me as he turned back around and realized he'd been busted. But I wasn't a jerk, I just smiled and winked as if to say, "That's right, I sleep with that every night." NOTE: the preference black men have for thick, even fat women has been discussed at great length elsewhere in this forum. I'm not trying to open that dialogue up here, I'm just sharing what I observed yesterday.
- On our drive home my wife mentioned that she noticed a few of her fellow fat girls checking me out. We've both noticed that fat women will signal there approval to each other when "one of their own" has a man they find appealing. She pointed out that a few of them gave me a good healthy once over, noticed her, then looked at me again like they were ready to eat me alive if they had their way. She added that so many people assume just because a woman is fat she should be with a fat partner, but that fat women have preferences too and some of them prefer a fit partner. I feel so lucky to have the wife I have, but it made me feel really good when she expressed feeling lucky to have the husband she has. :smitten:
Being at a water park really brings this out because men and women are by nature of their location more revealing than in every day life. We notice reactions, positive and negative, all the time but something about our bodies being on greater display to others really emphasized this. Add in that many people consider a fit man with a fat woman to be a major mismatch and we've drawn some reactions in our time together.
I am not going to recount all of our experiences though I am prepared to share a few other examples if people are interested. It's very important to note not all the reactions are negative. In fact, some of them are nothing short of beautiful and pleasant.
Not all reactions are tied directly to us being a mismatched couple either: some reactions (good and bad alike) are toward my wife exclusively as evidenced by some of the things she has observed or experienced when she is not with me. But they do seem to increase when we're with each other and yesterday at the park really brought it out.
I'm curious to hear what your experiences are. What kinds of reactions do people have toward you when you're with your partner or if you're a plus size man or woman, you directly. It can be positive or negative, and hopefully there's a lot of the former! But there will probably be some of the latter and in those cases I'd be curious to know how you responded too.
I welcome your experiences and/or general thoughts.
