Please read through what I've written and don't just base your response on the topic title.
I've known this girl for practically my entire life (and hers), and we've always just been family friends. That is to say, I would see her and her family around once every year for some sort of holiday, since I was around 4. As a result, I can't say that I know her THAT well as a person, but since puberty, I've been extremely attracted to her. As of now, she is 22 years old, around 5'9" and 320 pounds. If it matters, I'm 19, 5'9" and 150.
Three years ago on Thanksgiving, I wrote her a juvenile love note and handed it to her in person before leaving the next day. I confessed my feelings for her in the note, and she replied through email saying that she was flattered, but because she was in a relationship at the time, she hoped I would understand that she wasn't available to return the feelings.
Flashforward to present. I'll be going to her house again this year for Thanksgiving, and I've pretty much convinced myself that I'm going to ask her out on a traditional dinner date. She has long since broken up with the guy she used to be with (from what I've gathered it was actually weight-related; either he didn't like that she was gaining or she didn't like that he was working out and getting buff), and although three years may not seem long to most of you venerable and wise Dimmers, I feel that I've matured significantly since the age of 16.
Sorry for the long preface. My question is the following: should the fact that I'm an FA have any part in the conversation that I plan to have with her, and that I've practiced hundreds of times in my head already?
I think it's important to note that even in the short periods of time that I've seen her, she has consistently shown a defiance towards the bias of society against fat people (even when members of her own family have commented on her size), and a certain proudness in her own body. For that reason, I'm partially inclined to think that my being an FA is relevant, and that she wouldn't be offended that I was linking my preference for big girls with my attraction to her.
On the other hand, the point of a date (in my naive and silly opinion) is to say, "I think you're attractive but!, I'd really like to get to know you better as a person." In that context the focus should obviously be on personality and non-bodily interaction.
If you think that I should bring up my attraction to big girls overall, how should I go about it? Any particular words to avoid? Any subtleties to use?
Being a shy nerd who has never gotten past hugging with any girl, I have virtually no experience in any of these matters, so I would really appreciate any input that anyone can give.
And although I don't think I've committed any sin in this post, if I've come off as insensitive or ignorant in any way, please forgive me. That is not my intention.
side note: her facebook profile was recently updated to read: "Looking for: Friendship, Relationship" instead of just "Friendship." When I read that I was sure that some sort of deity that I don't believe in was on my side.
I've known this girl for practically my entire life (and hers), and we've always just been family friends. That is to say, I would see her and her family around once every year for some sort of holiday, since I was around 4. As a result, I can't say that I know her THAT well as a person, but since puberty, I've been extremely attracted to her. As of now, she is 22 years old, around 5'9" and 320 pounds. If it matters, I'm 19, 5'9" and 150.
Three years ago on Thanksgiving, I wrote her a juvenile love note and handed it to her in person before leaving the next day. I confessed my feelings for her in the note, and she replied through email saying that she was flattered, but because she was in a relationship at the time, she hoped I would understand that she wasn't available to return the feelings.
Flashforward to present. I'll be going to her house again this year for Thanksgiving, and I've pretty much convinced myself that I'm going to ask her out on a traditional dinner date. She has long since broken up with the guy she used to be with (from what I've gathered it was actually weight-related; either he didn't like that she was gaining or she didn't like that he was working out and getting buff), and although three years may not seem long to most of you venerable and wise Dimmers, I feel that I've matured significantly since the age of 16.
Sorry for the long preface. My question is the following: should the fact that I'm an FA have any part in the conversation that I plan to have with her, and that I've practiced hundreds of times in my head already?
I think it's important to note that even in the short periods of time that I've seen her, she has consistently shown a defiance towards the bias of society against fat people (even when members of her own family have commented on her size), and a certain proudness in her own body. For that reason, I'm partially inclined to think that my being an FA is relevant, and that she wouldn't be offended that I was linking my preference for big girls with my attraction to her.
On the other hand, the point of a date (in my naive and silly opinion) is to say, "I think you're attractive but!, I'd really like to get to know you better as a person." In that context the focus should obviously be on personality and non-bodily interaction.
If you think that I should bring up my attraction to big girls overall, how should I go about it? Any particular words to avoid? Any subtleties to use?
Being a shy nerd who has never gotten past hugging with any girl, I have virtually no experience in any of these matters, so I would really appreciate any input that anyone can give.
And although I don't think I've committed any sin in this post, if I've come off as insensitive or ignorant in any way, please forgive me. That is not my intention.
side note: her facebook profile was recently updated to read: "Looking for: Friendship, Relationship" instead of just "Friendship." When I read that I was sure that some sort of deity that I don't believe in was on my side.
