sara303066
Member
- Joined
- May 16, 2014
- Messages
- 15
Ooookay so, Im very good at guilt-tripping myself so much so that it stymies a lot of my romantic life. When I was a tween and younger teen it seemed like there ware a number of articles in magazines and newspapers popping up about people who found fat sexually attractive. They were entirely negative, casting feeders as abusers who fed their partner into an early grave and preyed on someones insecurities for their own sexual fantasy. I knew that I was one of theses people who was drawn to larger body types over any other, and really internalized these articles as the only information about myself I knew of at the time. My family, and my mother especially, are extremely health conscious but in actuality are more weight conscious than anything else. I felt like my desires were not only illicit, they were also harmful to others.
Discovering dims and the tumblr community has really helped me develop a more-informed and circumspect (almost adult....) opinion. Theres days where Im like screw those articles that made me hate my attractions! Its Not! A! Fetish! Liking larger bodies is the same as liking curly hair or brown eyes, a natural human quirk! Being fat does not automatically equal unhealthy! People who say its not valid are just uncomfortable with anything that challenges the narrow worldview theyve put their trust into!
All three of the (good) relationships Ive had have been with chubby to fat guys, and the only time I voiced my attraction to a bf he simply responded that he already knew. Of course he knew! How could he not? I realized that this was something I didnt have to say and would never need to say. But it seemed to have so much weight (pun) that I cried afterwards. So even though Ive never had a negative experience, Im still afraid a partner will come to view me in the way that Id thought of myself; as exploitative and sadistic and thats very painful to think about.
Has anyone had a similar mentality? What has helped you?
Discovering dims and the tumblr community has really helped me develop a more-informed and circumspect (almost adult....) opinion. Theres days where Im like screw those articles that made me hate my attractions! Its Not! A! Fetish! Liking larger bodies is the same as liking curly hair or brown eyes, a natural human quirk! Being fat does not automatically equal unhealthy! People who say its not valid are just uncomfortable with anything that challenges the narrow worldview theyve put their trust into!
All three of the (good) relationships Ive had have been with chubby to fat guys, and the only time I voiced my attraction to a bf he simply responded that he already knew. Of course he knew! How could he not? I realized that this was something I didnt have to say and would never need to say. But it seemed to have so much weight (pun) that I cried afterwards. So even though Ive never had a negative experience, Im still afraid a partner will come to view me in the way that Id thought of myself; as exploitative and sadistic and thats very painful to think about.
Has anyone had a similar mentality? What has helped you?
