Miss Vickie
Well-Known Member
There are lots of threads in this forum discussing the horrible complications, concerns, and side effects of WLS, with talk of all the health reasons for losing weight. It paints a pretty dire picture, particularly with some of the scare tactics some have used, prefering fiction to fact to make a point. But I had a moment yesterday that I wanted to share, and I figure this is the place. (If discussion of weight loss and a perceived improvement in appearance offends you, please do us both a favor and stop reading here. It's not my intention at all to offend anyone, and I think you all look gorgeous. This is just me sharing a personal observation about my own WLS experience and how I look).
So yesterday I was in a hurry (as usual), late for work, and blow drying my hair. I had my arms up, trying desperately to infuse volume into my thin, stick straight hair, and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I almost dropped the blow dryer.
"Damn", I thought. "I look goood." I looked at myself more carefully. I was wearing a tight fitting sweater with thin grey and white stripes and low rise flare jeans. First I noticed that I have a waist now, something I'd lost some years before. My hips look good, though I wish my butt were rounder, and my thighs no longer rub together. And as long as I wear a bra, my poor well loved and well used breasts look good, too. I thought, "I look hot!" and though I weigh more than I did at 16, I like my body way more now than I did then.
All this time, when I've looked at myself after my surgery, I still saw the fat girl, still doubted that the surgery worked, despite the obvious losses that registered on the scale and the comments of others. Yesterday was the first day I actually really SAW the loss for the first time. And it felt very very good. I could almost have the body of a much-younger woman, rather than the matronly figure I've had since high school. Of course, once you take clothes off, the illusion disappears and I look like what I am: an over 40 year old woman who's had three big babies and breastfed all of them, a woman who's had her share of surgeries and now some weight loss, so things aren't as toned as they could be. But with clothes on? Shazam!
It's so funny -- I've focused so much on the health reasons for my weight loss that I didn't really think too much about the fact that, to me, I really do look better. (And if that makes me a tool, so be it). Of course, I've certainly enjoyed shopping for clothes more, but until yesterday I didn't really see the changes in my body. (Size dysmorphia -- it's a weird thing).
Even though I've said if I didn't lose another pound I'd be happy because I felt better, I can truthfully say now that if I didn't lose another pound I'd be happy with how I look, too. I'm just over 200, at 5'2+", and this seems to be a good weight for me. I just wish I could have liked how I looked when I was 16, or 26, or even 36. But I'll enjoy it now.
So yesterday I was in a hurry (as usual), late for work, and blow drying my hair. I had my arms up, trying desperately to infuse volume into my thin, stick straight hair, and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I almost dropped the blow dryer.
"Damn", I thought. "I look goood." I looked at myself more carefully. I was wearing a tight fitting sweater with thin grey and white stripes and low rise flare jeans. First I noticed that I have a waist now, something I'd lost some years before. My hips look good, though I wish my butt were rounder, and my thighs no longer rub together. And as long as I wear a bra, my poor well loved and well used breasts look good, too. I thought, "I look hot!" and though I weigh more than I did at 16, I like my body way more now than I did then.
All this time, when I've looked at myself after my surgery, I still saw the fat girl, still doubted that the surgery worked, despite the obvious losses that registered on the scale and the comments of others. Yesterday was the first day I actually really SAW the loss for the first time. And it felt very very good. I could almost have the body of a much-younger woman, rather than the matronly figure I've had since high school. Of course, once you take clothes off, the illusion disappears and I look like what I am: an over 40 year old woman who's had three big babies and breastfed all of them, a woman who's had her share of surgeries and now some weight loss, so things aren't as toned as they could be. But with clothes on? Shazam!
It's so funny -- I've focused so much on the health reasons for my weight loss that I didn't really think too much about the fact that, to me, I really do look better. (And if that makes me a tool, so be it). Of course, I've certainly enjoyed shopping for clothes more, but until yesterday I didn't really see the changes in my body. (Size dysmorphia -- it's a weird thing).
Even though I've said if I didn't lose another pound I'd be happy because I felt better, I can truthfully say now that if I didn't lose another pound I'd be happy with how I look, too. I'm just over 200, at 5'2+", and this seems to be a good weight for me. I just wish I could have liked how I looked when I was 16, or 26, or even 36. But I'll enjoy it now.
