Alright so, I thought it was high time I started a thread around here!
If you haven't seen my intro post, I'm Ali...24...from southern Illinois and a BBW. I have been overweight since the 3rd grade. Obesity is common on both sides of my family, so I was predisposed...I also ran into some depression as I was growing up due to emotional neglect and my parents getting divorced.
When I was 16, I went on the Atkins diet and got down to my smallest "adult" size of around 185 lbs. Then one of my friend's mom guilted me into stopping the diet because it was unhealthy. I piled back on the weight over the next year (gained about 80 lbs back).
I now weight 280 and I'm 5'5.5". I would say I gain weight fairly proportionately, so I am a large hourglass shape (though not a very pronounced one).
I love food. Whether it is a comfort or something to do when I'm bored, or I just love the way it tastes...It is a prominent part of my life. I also lead a pretty sedentary life, though I am trying to change that more recently for health reasons.
I've been told my whole life that I am beautiful by my mother and my grandmother and older ladies and on occasion I have had a guy tell me that I have a pretty face. I have also had people tell me I am intelligent and interesting, but I have never had a man want me for my whole self...and that is something I desire greatly.
NOW to get to my question:
Should I feel guilty for being "shallow"? I am not super picky about appearance in a man I wish to get involved with, but I do have certain things that my heart and mind seem to be unwavering about. For instance, I prefer men who are thin and/or fit or *maybe* slightly chubby. This isn't to say I would find it impossible to fall in love with a larger man, but I wouldn't go seeking a relationship with one. I also tend to prefer men with medium to dark hair and masculine features: wide shoulders, muscles, tall, strong jaw, facial hair, etc. While I do like the "geeky" look, it still is the people who fall into at least some of the above qualities that catch my eye.
Should I feel bad for this?
Am I intolerant?
Society tells me that I don't have the "right" to be picky about appearance in someone I want to date because I'm less than desirable myself.
If you haven't seen my intro post, I'm Ali...24...from southern Illinois and a BBW. I have been overweight since the 3rd grade. Obesity is common on both sides of my family, so I was predisposed...I also ran into some depression as I was growing up due to emotional neglect and my parents getting divorced.
When I was 16, I went on the Atkins diet and got down to my smallest "adult" size of around 185 lbs. Then one of my friend's mom guilted me into stopping the diet because it was unhealthy. I piled back on the weight over the next year (gained about 80 lbs back).
I now weight 280 and I'm 5'5.5". I would say I gain weight fairly proportionately, so I am a large hourglass shape (though not a very pronounced one).
I love food. Whether it is a comfort or something to do when I'm bored, or I just love the way it tastes...It is a prominent part of my life. I also lead a pretty sedentary life, though I am trying to change that more recently for health reasons.
I've been told my whole life that I am beautiful by my mother and my grandmother and older ladies and on occasion I have had a guy tell me that I have a pretty face. I have also had people tell me I am intelligent and interesting, but I have never had a man want me for my whole self...and that is something I desire greatly.
NOW to get to my question:
Should I feel guilty for being "shallow"? I am not super picky about appearance in a man I wish to get involved with, but I do have certain things that my heart and mind seem to be unwavering about. For instance, I prefer men who are thin and/or fit or *maybe* slightly chubby. This isn't to say I would find it impossible to fall in love with a larger man, but I wouldn't go seeking a relationship with one. I also tend to prefer men with medium to dark hair and masculine features: wide shoulders, muscles, tall, strong jaw, facial hair, etc. While I do like the "geeky" look, it still is the people who fall into at least some of the above qualities that catch my eye.
Should I feel bad for this?
Am I intolerant?
Society tells me that I don't have the "right" to be picky about appearance in someone I want to date because I'm less than desirable myself.
